FI, myself and our families agreed (or so I thought) that the wedding should be in FI's hometown because it made the most sense for the most amount of people. Most of my family and all of his family lives near his hometown, but my parents moved away, so they do not. However, they understood why we wanted it to be there and, despite being a bit disappointed, still offered to contributed to our budget. Their gift was very generous, and I repeatedly told them that if they were upset about the location, I understood if they didn't want to pay for any of wedding. They insisted, saying that I was their only daughter and they were honored to help pay for my wedding, etc.
Everything was going swimmingly, until we started nailing down the guest list. When I got my parents, a ton of their friends were missing. When I asked my mom about this, she said "Well it would be terribly rude to invite our friends and imply that we expected them to travel all that way!" (It's about a 17 hour drive, so pretty much requires a flight). I told her I didn't think it would be rude at all and that she should invite her friends and if they chose not to travel, that was fine and their decision. I said if anything, their close friends may be hurt to not get an invite and the opportunity to choose to go. She got irritated and said that to invite people who lived so far from the wedding would be like saying "I know you can't come but you should send a check."
I don't see it like this at all. Ultimately, if they don't want to invite their friends it's their business, but is what she's saying true at all? I think it's crazy. I'm inviting friends who are far away and don't expect them to feel obligated to come or send anything ... I just want to give them the heads up I appreciate them and would love them there.
Is my mom being crazy, or am I out of line?