A friend of mine proposed to his girlfriend about a month ago. I'm very happy for them- they're a terrific match and I really like her a lot. I see them within a large group of friends (10 of us) once every 6-8 weeks or so. I was surprised, though, when just this past weekend, my friend's fiancé asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. As I'd said, I like her a lot, but we aren't particularly close (we've never hung out one-on-one, in the large group setting we don't gravitate towards each other, etc.). In my early- and mid-twenties, I said yes to every person who asked me to be a bridesmaid in their wedding, and had a couple of regrets when it was someone I wasn't really close with. That's what this wedding would have been- I like her, but we aren't that close. For my own wedding, I went with my nearest and dearest- my two sisters were co-MOH's and my good friend the bridesmaid, and I was really happy with that decision. I have a feeling she asked me and not one of the other ladies in our group because she sees a lot of pictures of bridal shower stuff I do on facebook and pinterest. I told her that I'd be happy to help out at her shower if there's anything in particular that she would like, but that I'd have to decline being in the bridal party. She took it well and admitted it was a reach and said she'd let me know about my helping out with details.
^Now, the real reasons I said no: a) the aforementioned "I don't want to be in a WP if I'm not a close friend/family member of the bride" and b) after months of trying, hubby and I have finally conceived our first baby. I'm over-the-moon thrilled, but my due date is four days away from my friends' wedding date. I couldn't imagine being a 100% dependable BM with either a newborn or being ready to pop. I'm only 7 weeks along so I haven't told anyone outside of immediate family yet. I didn't feel I could give either excuse so I just went with a simple "I'm going to have to decline" and then offered to help anyway.
One of my sisters and a co-worker said this was rude, if someone asks you to be in a bridal party, you have to say yes. My other sister said you can say no but only if you have a good excuse. Another co-worker says you can say no to anyone regardless of your reason. At this point my decision has been made, but I'm posting here to see what the general consensus is. Thoughts and comments are appreciated, but I'd really love to hear any personal stories from women who have actually declined, along with your reason for doing so, and the bride's reaction.