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Very small wedding

wilson24019wilson24019 member
10 Comments 5 Love Its
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
My wedding will be very small (about 30 people).  I want to invite the members of my choir (13 people) but I don't have room for their spouses.  Is it OK to invite just the choir and not open up the event to the plus 1?
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Re: Very small wedding

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If someone is in a relationship then they need to be invited with their SO.  To not invite their SO is rude.

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  • melbelleupmelbelleup member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    wilson24019 said:
    My wedding will be very small (about 30 people).  I want to invite the members of my choir (13 people) but I don't have room for their spouses.  Is it OK to invite just the choir and not open up the event to the plus 1?
    You have to invite their spouses as well. Even those just in a relationship. Just pass on it if you can't swing 26 people added.
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  • wilson24019wilson24019 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    I think that is what I will need to do. It is just frustrating because I cannot invite the people I want to come because I don't have room to seat the people I don't want to come.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    No. From an etiquette perspective, if you invite people to your wedding you need to invite their significant other. If you can't afford/don't want to host their spouses/SOs, simply do not invite them. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    wilson24019 said:
    I think that is what I will need to do. It is just frustrating because I cannot invite the people I want to come because I don't have room to seat the people I don't want to come.
    Huh?

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  • wilson24019wilson24019 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its

    Maggie,

    I can't invite my choir because the venue is not big enough for the choir and the spouses (some of whom I don't know).  That would make the guest list jump from 32 to 5,4 and the room can only hold about 38 people.  I'm the choir director, so it is all or none  I can't invite some of the group and not all of them. 

    It is frustrating.  I'm running into the same issue at work.  I have a couple of friends at the office.  But several of us have lunch as a group.  That means, if I invite my friends, I have to invite the other people who have lunch with me or it will be a disaster.  Some of them work in a small suite of offices, and I can't leave out one other person who works in that suite....and the boss....plus I have to invite all the spouses. To invite the four people I really want to come, I have to invite 10 people.  Aaaach!!! 

    Did I mention I suck at politics?!    

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    Maggie,

    I can't invite my choir because the venue is not big enough for the choir and the spouses (some of whom I don't know).  That would make the guest list jump from 32 to 5,4 and the room can only hold about 38 people.  I'm the choir director, so it is all or none  I can't invite some of the group and not all of them. 

    It is frustrating.  I'm running into the same issue at work.  I have a couple of friends at the office.  But several of us have lunch as a group.  That means, if I invite my friends, I have to invite the other people who have lunch with me or it will be a disaster.  Some of them work in a small suite of offices, and I can't leave out one other person who works in that suite....and the boss....plus I have to invite all the spouses. To invite the four people I really want to come, I have to invite 10 people.  Aaaach!!! 

    Did I mention I suck at politics?!    

    Guest lists suck. Making them is hard because you want to invite the whole world but you just can't. I understand your frustrations and was there myself once. Making cuts is hard. Is there a way for you to change your venue so that you can invite everyone you want plus their SOs? Or did you pick the venue you did because of budget reasons and/or because you wanted a small wedding?

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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited October 2013
    Is your choir available for hire? If you paid to have them there to preform they would be a vendor. It is polite to feed your vendors and you do not have to allow vendors to bring a SO. I know I'm splitting hairs here, and it only works if your choir is already in the business of signing for money. If they are, you could hire them to preform and then allow them to stay or leave when they are done working. It's no different from hiring a friend to shoot your photos or DJ. I have no work around for your work friends.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • wilson24019wilson24019 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its

    Wedding and venue are small because of budget, and since it is a second wedding, I did not want to do anything really big.   Funny thing is, I'm having trouble because I don't want to invite the whole world...ha ha ha.

     Love the idea of having the choir sing.  That could work, and yes, I could make a payment to the choir fund for them.  I'll have to see how that might work.  The best thing is, I'll have a good reason to find out how many of them could actually come....hmmm.  Thanks for the ideas. 

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  • wilson24019wilson24019 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    I ran with your idea and invited my choir to sing the recessional!    Since I am the choir director it really fits. 
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