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Wedding Party

Silent Matron of Honor

In my wedding party I have a maid and matron of honor.  I live in the same town as my maid of honor and have known her since I was 4.  I used to go to middle and high school with my matron of honor and we have kept in touch over the years.  I even helped out at her wedding a couple of years ago.  I asked her to be my matron of honor back in july.  Since then, I haven't heard anything from her.  I sent out a facebook post a couple of months ago just to see how she was doing and she replied once.  Since then, she has not returned my phone calls, couple of facebook contacts, texts, and I even tried asking her sister if she got a new number.  No kind of reply to anything.  I am planning to go bridesmaids dress shopping in a couple of weeks.  I texted her giving her all of the information and haven't heard anything.  I don't want to keep contacting her because I have tried multiple times and I don't want it to seem like i'm annoying her.  I don't want to go shopping without her, but I can't wait until she actually decides to get back to me.  If she doesn't want to be in the wedding, I wouldn't replace her.  Its either she is in it or I only have one person standing with me.  Any advice on what I should do now?

Re: Silent Matron of Honor

  • Is it like her to drop off the face of the earth? I mean, if she's done this before, you can't expect her to be different for your wedding. Otherwise, could you try to arrange to meet for something like coffee or a movie and ask how she's doing outside the context of the wedding? I guess your only other option would be to specify a color and length for the dress and if she doesn't get it, then she takes herself out of your wedding.
  • She has never been like this. the past few times ive tried to talk i havent even mentioned the wedding. I try to ask how her job hasdbeen going and how her house decorating is going.
  • Keep you appointment to dress shop with your BMs.   Let them pick out a dress, within everyone's budget, then let your MOH know what dress she needs to buy.  If she doesn't buy the dress, she has taken herself out of the wedding.  Perhaps she has something going on that she doesn't want anyone to know about yet?  Money problems, pregnancy, etc.  All of these things could be a reason she is dodging you.
  • Is something drastic going on in her life (something much more important than BM dresses)?



    Anniversary
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  • I'm not sure. I haven't been able to get a hold of her. I haven't seen anything on her facebook page that would say otherwise
  • When is your wedding?




  • I'm not sure. I haven't been able to get a hold of her. I haven't seen anything on her facebook page that would say otherwise
    If it's something she's not willing to share with you privately then it's probably not something she would post on fb.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • i know she wouldnt post on facebook, just to see if she did anything on there to know she got messages or to see if someone says 'i hope you feel better' or something. may 17
  • It's kinda early to go Bridesmaids dress shopping. You have 8 months.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • Grabows14 said:
    It's kinda early to go Bridesmaids dress shopping. You have 8 months.
    It's about the right time... dresses can take 3-6 months to come in and she actually has 7 months. I actually went BM dress shopping a year in advance due to me living out of state of where the wedding is. Some of my girls bought their dress right then (june) another bought hers in aug and another just bought hers in sept. The aug and sept ones aren't in yet and probably won't be for another 2-3 months. Luckily, none of my girls really change weight ever. And two of the four are planning their own wedding, one a month before mine and one a month after so I don't think they'll magically gain. The other two are very active. The June girls just got theirs in the beginning of Oct. That being said, I ordered my dress in June and it came in July because of them having one already made at the warehouse.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • Grabows14 said:
    It's kinda early to go Bridesmaids dress shopping. You have 8 months.
    It's about the right time... dresses can take 3-6 months to come in and she actually has 7 months. I actually went BM dress shopping a year in advance due to me living out of state of where the wedding is. Some of my girls bought their dress right then (june) another bought hers in aug and another just bought hers in sept. The aug and sept ones aren't in yet and probably won't be for another 2-3 months. Luckily, none of my girls really change weight ever. And two of the four are planning their own wedding, one a month before mine and one a month after so I don't think they'll magically gain. The other two are very active. The June girls just got theirs in the beginning of Oct. That being said, I ordered my dress in June and it came in July because of them having one already made at the warehouse.
    I'm going dress shopping this weekend for my August wedding. Is it early? Yes, but I'm doing it now in case we don't like the designer I *think* I like. Plus with a bridesmaid out of state, I want to give her time to try on the short list of styles we like and find one that she likes as well. We're not ordering yet, but I did want to get a head start on it.
    Anniversary
  • Thanks everyone for the input.  Im not going shopping until the first weekend of November and I don't know if ill find a dress that day.  If not, we probably wont go shopping for a few weeks after that, closer to December.  I'd rather start early than get to close and have limited options
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