African American Weddings

How can I tell her?? PIP

Good morning luvs. I came for a lil piece of advice. Long story short, my aunt which is my dad sister wanted to make my bouquet. My other aunt told her I didnt have a florist booked yet and I needed flowers. Mind you, I hadnt seen or talked to my dads side in about 5 years. So I finally got in touch with everybody and invited them to the wedding. Its boo coo of em and they were all sooooo excited. So my aunt calls me and was like, why didnt you tell me you didnt have flowers yet. She says dont worry about it, I got you. She asked me what I was soing about the girls flowers. I told her I was just going to krogers to get theirs. So she said, well im making yours. I really would love to do that for you. So she ask me what my colors were and my choice of flowers. I told her something with roses and or calla lily. So then she text me and says, well I really wanna do this cascading bouquet for you. I think it will be beautiful. So im like ok. Now I dont know jack bout no flowers and definitely nothing about a bouquet. So I google it and im like ummmm hecky no. Not my style. So I call her amd tells her that I like the bouquet but not anything I would wanrt doe myself. I emailed her some pics of bouquets I liked. She emails me back and says ok. We're on the same page. So I take it that she knows what I want. Now monday night she calls me like im putting the finishing touches on your bouquet ans asks me to stop by to see it. So when I walk in she has it sitting up on this stand. The first thing I think is....she did exactly what I DIDNT want and what that was that damn cascading bouquet. I instantly got a headache. She was so happy and bery proud of it. All she kept saying is im sooooo happy I could do thiss for you. This bouquet is huge. Its very pretty but I cant get past the size of it. It looks like something that should be sitting on top of somebodys casket. Thats how big it is. And to top it off FH hates it. That damn thing is take up damn near the whole feont of my dress. I mean this damn bouquet will definitely over power my dress. I really want to ise ot for something but dont know what. ..So my question is what can I use this for and how can I tell her im not carrying it without hurting her feelings?
Mrs. Mosley 2 be

Re: How can I tell her?? PIP

  • raven&mark LAWD have mercy!! That is definitely a huge bouquet.... Honestly anything you tell her will hurt her feelings, there is no way around that! Unfortunately your going to have to be upfront (Auntie so and so... I like the bouquet I REALLY DO but its just not what i wanted to carry down the aisle, its a bit too big and i didnt want a cascade bouquet...if we can get together and make it more to my taste id be more than happy to use it) SIMPLE AND DONE!!!! Now how she may react is a diff story.. but you cant get around it and if you dont want to use dont use it... your wedding pics are forever... OR you could make your own bouquet (follow your regular plan, prior to The Florist aka Auntie) and get to the wedding and say OMG I FORGOT THE BOUQUET AT HOME lol and carry your regular bouquet down the aisle LOL... either way shes not gonna be a happy camper... IMO

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  • Ray I agree with Tira.  If she was proud to death of it, there might not be a way to spare hurting her feelings a little bit but honesty will cut down the argument time.

    Auntie thank you for taking the time to do this for me {deep breath} but this arrangement isn't what I was looking for. You're obviously talented in this regard I just don't want you to be surprised or hurt that I won't be carrying them.  I truly appreciate your effort and I love you for wanting to help.

    Her next question will be, okay what did you want that's different from what I did.  {be prepared and do not pause, she'll take that for indecision lol}  you: mark and I thank you so much for your gracious offer, we're actually going with our first plan.   She will say baby you wanna spend all that money when I can do your flowers for free?  you:  {soft voice} yes ma'am.

    The thing is you don't wanna lie to her, her eye for placement, design, arrangement whatever the official name of that is?  chile I think she hit the nail on the head, but the bouquet itself, I understand.  Girl it's so big I didn't even notice that you were in the second picture.  lol.   Are ya'll considering letting her try it again? if so I'd say bring her a trial bunch of loose flowers and greens and take her a picture over there in person, then walk her through it.   I like these colors and this length and this pop and a teeny weeny filler flower.   The weird part is she did exactly what she told you she would, it has callas, roses, filler and i'm assuming those are your colors and that's most definitely a cascade so it's clear that she can execute your vision I just don't think she was clear on knowing what your vision actually is.

    If the 2nd time's a dud, prepare a speech.  lol!

  • Yep, that's pretty big.  Lol @ sitting on top of a casket....but it does look more like a centerpiece than a bouquet.

    Maybe you could put it (on the stand) on your guest book table at the entrance to your reception or on your gift table.  Tell her you wanted to showcase it in a prominent location so everyone could get a good view and admire her work more than they could for the short time you would be carrying it as a bouquet. 

    If you're not comfortable using it as table decor or don't have a table where it could work, explain that it's just flat out too big and ask if she can scale it down a bit.

    Good luck!

     

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  • pearls687 said:

    Yep, that's pretty big.  Lol @ sitting on top of a casket....but it does look more like a centerpiece than a bouquet.

    Maybe you could put it (on the stand) on your guest book table at the entrance to your reception or on your gift table.  Tell her you wanted to showcase it in a prominent location so everyone could get a good view and admire her work more than they could for the short time you would be carrying it as a bouquet. 

    If you're not comfortable using it as table decor or don't have a table where it could work, explain that it's just flat out too big and ask if she can scale it down a bit.

    Good luck!

     

    I was thinking the same thing.  Keep it on the stand and use it near one of the tables be it the gift, escort, or favors.  That way her efforts aren't in vain and she feels she added to your wedding.  



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    It can make you weak and strong simultaneously.  



  • i agree. tell her it was too beautiful and a bit big for a bouquet and you'd like to use it as a special peice (read as in that corner nobody gonna pay attention too) and tell her someone had already purchased a bouquet as your wedding gift but failed to tell you in time because it was a surprise.
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  • O M G that is big....I definitely agree with all the ladies..I would say what footballwife said..gl hun
  • I know I am late but I agree with @MrsBad13 and @footballwife77.. but sweet baby Jesus that is a massive "bouquet"...that looks good and ready for the repass....jk

    Daisypath - (PNE7)
  • It's so big..........so so big......... I have no constructive advice. Just so big....
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  • what @M1ssJ said lol 
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