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Bridal shower concern already...this is a long question!

My fmil's group of friends have a tradition in which one always hosts the bridal shower, one the baby shower, and so on. When fh and I were at our engagement party (this was almost a year ago and less than two months after we got engaged), fmil and her friends were talking about shower and I think I just said I was excited and appreciated any and all efforts...
My sister and best friend are co-MOHs and both planning to be very involved in the shower and very excited about it! So when we set a date for it, I also let fmil know. I was surprised when she texted me the next day saying the shower was now scheduled and that she wouldn't be doing much of the planning because 'the group wouldn't let her' and that she'd check with the person in her group that does the bridal showers. I asked for the number of that lady or email and texted her to explain that my sister and best friend are planning to play a pivotal role in this planning. She was out of town so we are going to talk this week. So, I guess my questions are: did I give the ladies the green light to handle everything with what I said at engagement party, and if so, how can I clarify that now? How do I show that I really appreciate them wanting to do this, but want my mohs (and bp if they also want) to be just ad if no more involved in the planning and not sound like an ungrateful bridezilla? Am I worrying about it too much because I'm afraid if I don't handle it now my MOhs will be not very involved and upset about that. Should I just let my MOHs handle it even though they don't really know these women? I've talked to my fh about it and he says he understands and supports whatever I do here but I'd really appreciate any additional opinions!

Re: Bridal shower concern already...this is a long question!

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    I agree with allispain.  You can have two separate showers (one by your MOHs and one by your future in-law's friend) or your MOHs can speak to this person and they can all plan the shower together.
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    Allispain-I don't recall ever being asked by fmil and her friends for me to accept on them planning, just them asking if I was excited for a shower, where it'd be etc and at the time fh and I hadn't even set a wedding date or location nevertheless thought about the shower. I think that because they plan them for all the 'children of the group' they just assumed this would be the same. I do really appreciate their efforts and, since many of my friends and family are spread out and fh and I are also in a different location id prefer for them all to plan together and do one big one (I think it'll actually be a lot of fun if all done together!) so maybe I should talk to fmil's friend this week and then have her talk to them going forward? Thanks for the responses!
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    All of these friends of FMIL........they are all on your wedding invitation list, correct?  And, you said you and your FI set the date for this shower.  It is probably best that you stay removed from any planning lest if look like you are involved in your own shower. 

    It sounds as if this group of women have a "formula" for such events, and I am not sure they would welcome "outside interference".   I'm not sure how well being told, "My BM's must play a pivotal role" will go over, and honestly, it sounds a bit rude.

    I would stay out of it from here on in.  
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    My fmil's group of friends have a tradition in which one always hosts the bridal shower, one the baby shower, and so on. When fh and I were at our engagement party (this was almost a year ago and less than two months after we got engaged), fmil and her friends were talking about shower and I think I just said I was excited and appreciated any and all efforts... 
    From ^^this^^ statement, you have accepted the offer of a shower from FMIL friends. The host of the shower is in charge of planning and isn't obligated to include your MsOH. If you MsOh want to plan a shower, they should host their own. Or they could put their efforts in to planning a bachelorette party.

    Ditto mobkaz, I hope all those women who are planning or being invited to your shower are also invited to your wedding.
                       
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    Yes, these are all friends I fmil an all on wedding list, date for shower was set bc my sister asked which of two weekends would work for my schedule since they were rhe only two that work with her school schedule, so I told her which worked for me, she's only 19 and hasn't planned one of these before so I said I'd give fmil the date and let them work or out from there. I agree with mobkaz that I don't want to be involved at all in the shower planning, I'm just worried that my sister will be intimidated by the women, not end up helping out that much and being upset about it and then is be stuck in middle when I don't want to be involved. I'm not excited about traveling twice to the same place a few hours away for two showers, but I guess I'll just put them all in contact and be happy their are these people who want to do this and just let it be...
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    My fmil's group of friends have a tradition in which one always hosts the bridal shower, one the baby shower, and so on. When fh and I were at our engagement party (this was almost a year ago and less than two months after we got engaged), fmil and her friends were talking about shower and I think I just said I was excited and appreciated any and all efforts... 
    From ^^this^^ statement, you have accepted the offer of a shower from FMIL friends. The host of the shower is in charge of planning and isn't obligated to include your MsOH. If you MsOh want to plan a shower, they should host their own. Or they could put their efforts in to planning a bachelorette party.

    Ditto mobkaz, I hope all those women who are planning or being invited to your shower are also invited to your wedding.
    MairePoppy...long time no "see".  Hope all is well.
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    edited October 2013
    @mobkaz - I have a new job, a new puppy and I'm working on some home improvement projects right now. Not much time left over for TK. 

    Hope you're well, too.
                       
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    Yes, these are all friends I fmil an all on wedding list, date for shower was set bc my sister asked which of two weekends would work for my schedule since they were rhe only two that work with her school schedule, so I told her which worked for me, she's only 19 and hasn't planned one of these before so I said I'd give fmil the date and let them work or out from there. I agree with mobkaz that I don't want to be involved at all in the shower planning, I'm just worried that my sister will be intimidated by the women, not end up helping out that much and being upset about it and then is be stuck in middle when I don't want to be involved. I'm not excited about traveling twice to the same place a few hours away for two showers, but I guess I'll just put them all in contact and be happy their are these people who want to do this and just let it be...

    That's the best way to handle it. 
                       
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    You can have multiple showers, as long as all the guests are invited to your wedding (exceptions for co-workers and group members) and as long as there is no overlap in the guest lists.

    Letting it be sounds to me like the best way to go.
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    I would just have my MOHs plan the bachelorette party, and the let the FMIL friends plan the shower. Older women tend to have more money, so the party might be better if you let the older ladies handle it. Or at least let them plan it and keep the MOHs involved with the planning as well.
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    I would split the showers up.  Let FMIL and her friends host one for FI's family (obviously only those invited to the wedding).  Then let your BMs host a shower for friends and your family.
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