Hawaii

destination wedding is a douche thing?

I really want my wedding to be in Hawaii. We thought hawaii is reasonable because it is between Japan (where I am originally from) and USA. 

I am thinking of Four Seasons Maui for my ceremony & reception. Very luckily, my parents are paying for the ridiculous wedding-related cost but they are not willing to cover air plane tickets or hotel for the VIPs (groom's parents and my best friends). Some of my friends / families are very excited for the wedding, but the others think it is very costly (about $1000) to fly out from the east coast. My FI is from New Jersey and many of his families and friends are there. I feel bad for some people who are hesitance because of cost. So the question (1) is it okay to book a room block at another hotel close to Four Seasons even if we are staying at Four Seasons? (2) Is it a tradition to cover some of travel expenses for groom's VIPs? I need some help! Thanks!!

Re: destination wedding is a douche thing?

  • you're very lucky to have parents helping out!   We paid for everything on our own.    All of our guests booked their own flights and made a vacation out of it. The only person we helped was my fiancé (now husband) mother as she was on limited income.     Yes, you can do room block wherever you want, but just consider the logistics of getting people from one hotel to another
  • I am not paying for anyone to come to my wedding, I think for most destination weddings guests are expected to pay their own way. Unless you are millionaires hahaha. 
  • As for the hotel thing I agree with the person above me, as long as they're close to each other it's fine, my guests are staying at 2 different hotels as well because of costs.
  • We got married on Oahu in July and didn't pay for rooms or flights for anyone - and guests were coming from literally all corners of the world!

    We room blocked the main hotel (where we were staying), the cheaper sister hotel and got the guests to use it if they liked. Most did, some chose elsewhere. We made sure we had transportation provided from the main hotel and everyone seemed very happy with it all.

  • I think having two types of hotels available is very fair. You are not expected to pay for people to stay. A cheaper hotel should be blocked off for guests who cannot afford a more expensive one. Its very kind that you are thinking of all your guests!
  • if you decide to have the wedding on the islands, I suggest going onto VRBO.com and see about renting a house.  Its a heck of a lot cheaper than booking a hotel, plus all you would have to do is go to the store and buy food to prepare at the house!  It's perfect
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