How to address STDs?

climbingsingle · October 2013

I've been told that STDs are less formal than the invite. What's the proper way to address them? Mr. and Mrs. John Smith? John and Jane Smith? Jane and John Smith?

Maggie0829 · October 2013

I think that STDs are less formal more in looks then in how they are addressed. I would still address them Mr. and Mrs. or Ms. and Mr. or whatever the appropriate titles for the the invited guests are.

AroundTheBlock · October 2013

Standard etiquette does not appy to Save-the-date cards, because they are not really very polite in and of themselves. They're an innovation that has been relatively recently borrowed from the convention industry's advance-advertising practices: The standard etiquette practice, is to hand-write real, individual notes to those people you really, truly cannot imagine not having at your wedding, telling them the good news of your engagement and letting them know of your planned date and place for your wedding. You would address those notes to people using the names you usually call them -- probably informal names, since they are your "nearest and dearest". And then, of course, you would put those notes in envelopes which you would address with your dear friends' business names complete with title -- "Mr John Smith and Ms Jane Doe". Because, while they may be your nearest-and-dearest, they do not have that close a relationship with the post office; and the envelope is a business document between you and the post office in which they are named as third parties.

If you do choose to go the mass-printed advance-advertising route, you would follow the same logic with respect to the addresses you write on the envelope. If you choose to follow the modern equivalent of the standard etiquette practice, you can write your friends personal individual emails and then you don't have to worry about addressing the envelope. Whichever route you go, send them only to people you are absolutely certain you want to invite. If you have any doubts about anyone, wait and just send them an invitation when the time comes for invitations.

melbelleup · October 2013

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I've been told that STDs are less formal than the invite. What's the proper way to address them? Mr. and Mrs. John Smith? John and Jane Smith? Jane and John Smith?

They are less formal, but you don't address them any less. Remember these are the first things your guests see of your wedding. How do you want people to view it? That being said, most open them and throw away the envelope. Same goes for weddings. I did all of mine:

Mr and Mrs. John Smith
Mr. Casper Smith (kids)
Miss Wendy Smith (kids)

climbingsingle · October 2013

Thanks!

ei34 · October 2013

I didn't send STD's myself, but the ones I receive seem to be addressed to me the same whether it's a STD or the actual wedding.

annathy03 · October 2013

Mine are post cards, so I'm using the more formal version of their first names names (Robert not Rob, Michael not Mike), but the space I have to write is just too small for the Mr. and Mrs. If I had an envelope to write on though I'd include them.

JustNicki · October 2013

What if you're inviting a significant other who doesn't live with your guest? On the outer envelope of the invitation I'd write:

Ms. Jane Doe

And then for the inner envelope I'd write:

Ms. Jane Doe

Mr. John Jones

Would the STDate just have her name on it since she's the one living there? Or would I just go ahead and put the date's name on as well so she knows he's invited? What about if you were giving someone an "and guest"? Does that get written on the STDate so she knows she's allowed a plus one or do you just leave it until the formal invitation goes out?

ashleyep · October 2013

I'm just going to put names on it - Joe and Jan Doe. I'm skipping the formal titles.

I'm not really putting SOs on the Save the Dates either. Since a StD doesn't specifically dictate who is and isn't invited like an invitation, I don't think it's necessary, personally.

How to address STDs?

Re: How to address STDs?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards