Wearing the Engagement Ring After Wedding

Re: Wearing the Engagement Ring After Wedding

• Maggie0829 member

  

  October 2013

  I would talk to your FI and explain the issues and see what he would like and then come to a compromise.

  
  

  I think wearing it on a chain is a great idea.  With it being too big I would be afraid to wear it, even on my thumb and seeing as it is a family heirloom I wouldn't want to risk losing it.

  
  

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• doeydo member

  

  October 2013

  You can just wear your wedding band.  You could re-size the ring and potentially change the metal or take the stone out and put it in a different setting.  But, if you don't want to spend that much money right now, you could just keep the ring and maybe occasionally wear it on your thumb or on a necklace.  In the future, you could always change the ring when you have enough money.

  
  

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• itzMS member

  

  October 2013

  Could you have a few of the diamonds reset?
  
  My e-ring was an heirloom, and I had the diamond reset in a modern setting that I wear every day. Of course, we still kept the antique setting.
  
  Just another option if you'd like to wear it in some way.

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• SBmini member

  

  October 2013

  I have an heirloom ring- my fiance reset the diamond in a more modern setting that fit me. The cost was way less than a new ring and it was custom made for me at a local jewelry. I would take it in and see what someone can do with it. 

  
  

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• Robin8686 member

  

  October 2013

  A thumb ring made of something so valuable probably isn't safe for everyday use. Wearing it on a chain is a great alternative. Are you sure it's so expensive to get it resized? Sizing down is much less costly than sizing up. Unless of course this is an eternity band and not a traditional solitaire-esque ring.

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• princessleia22 member

  

  October 2013

  I also have an heirloom ring and have had the same issues.  I had it resized smaller right away because I didn't want to worry about it falling off and losing it (it only cost about $50).  The ring is yellow gold and I definitely prefer white gold or any silver toned metal.  FI and FMIL offered to have the diamond reset into a white gold setting for me, but I didn't want to mess with or destroy their family heirloom. I've grown accustomed to the yellow gold ring, and don't really care if it doesn't match any other jewelry I wear (I don't even own any other yellow gold)... and nobody else cares either.  For my wedding band, I've had the same concern about matching rings.  FI prefers silver tones also and wants titanium band.  I would like our rings to match, but it would look weird if my wedding band and e-ring are on same finger and don't match.  So, I think I'm getting yellow gold band and FI is getting titanium.  The symbolism behind the family heirloom and the meaning behind the wedding band is more important than matching my FI's ring color.  And I've grown accustomed to and can handle the yellow gold rings.

  I would definitely get it resized to fit properly so you don't lose it... it shouldn't be that expensive.  Talk to your FI and their family and tell them your feelings on it.  Maybe they would be okay with resetting the diamond in a new titanium or white gold setting.  That way you still carry the main part of their family heirloom with you and you are happy with the look that you plan to wear forever.  If not, a necklace may be a good alternative.

   

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• kitty8403 member

  

  October 2013

  I have never heard of not wearing your engagement ring after the wedding!
  Have you considered just wearing it as your wedding band?
  Another thought--this is a family heirloom. Are there others in the family who might use it later on? Perhaps you would be willing to set it aside for them.

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• almostmrshilliard member

  

  October 2013

  I think the reason that it would be so expensive to resize is that it's fairly old, and (according to the jeweler) done in a way that makes it difficult to work with. All of the diamonds are set individually, so apparently it takes a bit longer. P.S. The price quoted was over $1000! It's also a fairly thick band (7 mm) and I would have to take it from about an 8 or 9 to a 5 or 4.5 so that might have something to do with it. 

  
  

  I think I might wear it on a chain. That just means I need to find one suitable for such a pretty ring.

  prettybirdy27 said:

  I would wear it on a chain on occasion, or wear it on your thumb to important events, but I wouldn't wear it everyday.

  I have a friend that was given an antique ring from her FI's grandmother.  She took the stone out of it and made herself a brand new ring in a different setting and metal color and everything.  His grandmother was devastated that she took an heirloom and changed it so much.  It sounds like you don't really want to change it at all, so kudos to you for not wanting to change it.

  Thank you for the compliment, btw.

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• emmyg65 member

  

  October 2013

  Yes, I like the idea of wearing it on a nice chain! I've had a few rings sized down and even for just 1-2 sizes, it changes the shape of the ring. I can imagine how tricky it would be to size it down that much! But it's so lovely of his family to give it to you, and of you to honor them by keeping it intact.

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