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Customs and Traditions

Groom not seeing bride before wedding

FI seems to be leaning towards wanting to see me before the wedding in the dress and everything. I have my hesitations, did you keep that tradition and do a big reveal or did you and FI see each other pre-ceremony?
-anjo (aka the future mrs miley :)


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Re: Groom not seeing bride before wedding

  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    My FI and I want to keep the tradition.  His first time seeing me on our wedding day will be as I come down the aisle.  We aren't superstitious or anything, it's just that we wanted a sort of surprise and "first looks" aren't appealing to either or us.
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  • We saw each other before the wedding, but not once we changed into wedding attire. We set up the reception venue the morning of along with our parents.
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  • FI and I are doing a first look. We want those few moments of privacy, just us, before the ceremony.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    We did a first look and I'm glad we did.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • We did a first look and had about 15-20 minutes to ourselves before the ceremony.  Best decision I made about the wedding as far as I'm concerned.  He had seen my dress and even seen me in it at our apartment before then but never with my hair all fixed and stuff.  It was amazing just being together for that little bit of time.  My friend is getting married soon and she said she really wants that moment to be when she walks down the aisle.  There really isn't a right or wrong.  More of a personal preference. 
  • We did a first look and I'm glad we did. It calmed our nerves and we loved spending time together before the ceremony. He also saw aspects of my outfit before the wedding day, but not all put together. We're not big on superstition. But it's really a personal decision between you too.
  • We woke up next to each other the morning of our wedding and took first look photos. Our marriage is still valid.
     
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  • FI and I want to see each other for the first time that day at the church. So we booked separate hotels and plan to do photos after the mass. 

    I see no problem with a first look. Just depends on what you and your FI want. I think it's really just personal preference, as I can see from PPs that they feel the first look was very special to them. 
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    We didn't see each other until the ceremony, and it was a mistake.  

    Once the ceremony was over, it was such a rush to get the rest of the photos done and get to the reception that we didn't get a minute to ourselves until much later.  I wish we'd seen each other and taken 15-20 minutes to spend together.   
  • WonderRedWonderRed member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2013
    We won't see each other the day of until I walk down the aisle. This is very important to FI.   We're not doing a receiving line so right after our ceremony we'll be taking 10-15 minutes alone before we jump right into any pictures or seeing people.  We're having an hour and a half cocktail hour and everything takes place at the same location.  Plus, neither of us really cares about having a bunch of posed pictures taken.  
  • We weren't originally going to do a first look, but changed our minds. I am so happy we did. It was great to be able to see each other before the wedding and have a few minutes to ourselves. 

    We got all the pictures with the wedding party done before hand and the entire wedding party was together while waiting for guests to arrive (we didn't do ushers - guests sat themselves). It was really nice to be able to spend some time with our closest friends all together. 

    Since we did a lot of the pictures before, we also had time to go down to the cocktail hour and see our guests then (everything was in the same location). 
  • DH and I stayed together on our wedding eve. I wanted to do a first look, DH did not. So we parted ways in the morning and the first time he saw me was when I came down the aisle. It was important to him, so I was fine with it. But I really would have liked to have a few minutes in private before the ceremony.
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  • WonderRed said:
    We won't see each other the day of until I walk down the aisle. This is very important to FI.   We're not doing a receiving line so right after our ceremony we'll be taking 10-15 minutes alone before we jump right into any pictures or seeing people.  We're having an hour and a half cocktail hour and everything takes place at the same location.  Plus, neither of us really cares about having a bunch of posed pictures taken.  
    Basically this. We are doing everything in the same place, just moving people from one place to another. We are both very excited at the prospect of seeing each other for the first time as I walk down the aisle.

  • I posted this same question. At first I really wanted to wait until I walked down the aisle but now I am thinking more about a "first look". I just want it to be special, that is all. But I am thinking it might make me less nervous.
  • We're keeping with tradition on this one, he won't see me until I walk down the aisle. That's just personal preference though. I understand why people want to do a 'first look' - I think doing that might calm the nerves a bit too.
  • We are doing first look, because we do not want our guests waiting around while we do photos. Also, the nerves thing is a plus.

    I kind of lost interest in not seeing the groom before the wedding after I learned where the tradition came from.
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  • Our current plan is no first look, but we will be sleeping in our apartment together and will probably have breakfast together before I head out to get ready.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    We did a first look and I'm so glad we did.  We would never have had time after for photos.

    Our first look technically wasn't even a first look.  It was a first look in wedding clothes but I saw him earlier that morning before we got dressed.  I had to.  I was about ready to break down.  My mom was running around like crazy (she was amazing but the day of, she'd asked my aunt to kind of be a DOC, but didn't actually give my aunt much information and then did almost everything herself.  So she was in and out while she was supposed to be helping me with my hair and make up.)

    All morning, I was like "Is he here yet?  Is he here yet?" (He didn't need to be there as early as me and my BMs did) and when he finally got to the church and came downstairs to see me, I just hugged him and cried for several minutes and got it all out.

    So yea, I would have been a real mess if I hadn't been able to see him.

  • kitty8403kitty8403 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited October 2013
    My parents did their main photo shoot together pre-ceremony, and in our circle, this is pretty typical. I would love to skip the first look but wouldn't that be a logistical problem for getting all the millions of photos done? I don't want to keep guests waiting forever. That part can easily take hours.
  • My FI and I are not doing a first look as he really wants to wait to see me as I walk down the aisle. What we are doing is being blindfolded and taken to each other before the ceremony so that we may pray together. This way we can settle our nerves and stick to waiting to see one another. My venue takes us in a golf cart to specific scenes on their grounds do pictures during the cocktail hour. They even have someone bring you drinks and food while you take your photos (definitely was a plus for us since we figured eating will be hard to accomplish with all the excitement).  :D

  • I am not doing a first look because it just isn't what I envisioned. Not because of the superstition, but because I just always imagined him seeing me at the end of that aisle and watching me walk towards him.

    My good friend is a photographer and she was telling me she tries to promote her brides to do a first look because it's easier on everyone else. I know I get flamed a lot for telling brides to do what they want to do at their wedding, but I think in this case, you really need to do what you want to do. You can't have those moments back.

  • katieg520 said:
    I am not doing a first look because it just isn't what I envisioned. Not because of the superstition, but because I just always imagined him seeing me at the end of that aisle and watching me walk towards him.

    My good friend is a photographer and she was telling me she tries to promote her brides to do a first look because it's easier on everyone else. I know I get flamed a lot for telling brides to do what they want to do at their wedding, but I think in this case, you really need to do what you want to do. You can't have those moments back.
    I agree with everything you said and applaud you. FI and I are not doing a first look either, we WANT that suspense of the big reveal. 

    I want to see the look in his eyes when he sees me walk down the aisle towards him knowing in just a few short steps I will be standing next to him proclaiming I am his and will be his forever. 
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    katieg520
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