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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

What would you have done different, what not to forget!?

Congratulations ladies on your wedding!

So, give us brides-to be some tips... What should we not do, forget and vice versa? Having an destination outdoors desert wedding... I know I'm missing things!

Thank you!

doeydo

Re: What would you have done different, what not to forget!?

  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers

    Congratulations ladies on your wedding!

    So, give us brides-to be some tips... What should we not do, forget and vice versa? Having an destination outdoors desert wedding... I know I'm missing things!

    Thank you!

    The most important thing is to figure out your guest list and budget BEFORE you start booking vendors and buying things.  You want to ensure you properly host all of your guests the entire reception.  

    No cash bars (your guests should never have to open up their wallet), have seating for everyone at both ceremony and reception, no unhosted gap longer than an hour between the ceremony and reception, no dollar dances, etc.
    grumbledore
  • mrsfinnimrsfinni member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited September 2013
    I wish I had brought baby powder for my thighs. I wore thigh-highs and it was 108 on my wedding day and my thighs were sticking together.

    I also wish that I hadn't given my bridesmaids their gifts until the wedding day as my MoH flaked on my wedding the day before. Waste of a perfectly good Betsey Johnson bag.
  • I think the best thing we did was get a videographer...  It turned out SO well, and it's so great to go back and be able to watch it over and over again.  I know it's not a must-have for a lot of people because of cost, but I like the video more than I like the pictures!


    Bubblegum5586
  • Love the feedback, thanks ladies... keep them coming!

    @joane2012- Yea I was thinking the $ dancing is not our style... we didn't even register.

    @hello_panda- I need this for our desert wedding, it is still hot during the day in November.

     

  • I wouldn't have sweated the small stuff - a DIY wedding at a private home and the things I worried about were ridiculous.  The best thing I did was hiring vendors that I personally knew and never had a worry that they would let me down.  I bought way to many decorations because I had never decorated a tent before, but in the $ scheme of things, probably wasted $300 or so.  Not the end of the world.  Dancing with our friends and family, eating amazing food and lots of wonderful memories!
    KnotPorscha
  • I would have made guests drink more... so more people loosen up and dance

    Also I would have slowed down with the speeches, first dances, etc... its a long night... dont need to rush it
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I would have made guests drink more... so more people loosen up and dance

    Also I would have slowed down with the speeches, first dances, etc... its a long night... dont need to rush it
    I think it's good to get the toasts and dances done early on and not spend too much time on them.  You don't want to stop the party partway through to do either of these or drag them out.....as a guest, that would be annoying (and boring).
  • I probably would have taken my mom up on her offer of helping out with more of the logistics - I wanted to try to do everything myself, and it would have saved me a lot of time (and made her really happy) had I let her handle some things that in hindsight really weren't that important.

    Other than that? I would have had one more of my friends as a BM - I didn't want to have a lot of girls up next to me since we weren't having a large wedding, but I wish I had added her.
    image
  • I had everything done by the Thursday before the wedding, so the Friday I could just relax and enjoy time with my mom and bridesmaids - we got manicures, went out for lunch and then brought everything to the venue that we needed. Make sure you make time to relax and don't get too stressed, it's just one day and ENJOY the day, it goes by way too fast!
    mcgarci2
  • Make sure you eat before the wedding. I don't mean hork down a sandwich right before you walk down the aisle, but eat a good breakfast and if you wedding is after lunch, try to squeeze in lunch. And if you have a wedding party and they need to be places to get ready during a meal time, please provide food. I was in a wedding where all I had to eat the whole day before the reception (at night) was a muffin, an apple and about 4 chips. 

    At my own wedding, I actually did have time to eat - but both my husband and I were so excited that we barely ate anything and I ended up being hungry later.
  • Advice from my mother, who just got back from my cousin's wedding: ice and serving utensils! People always think about food and drinks, but they forget all the stuff that should go with them. Also, she said they forgot to get a PA system, so most of the guests couldn't hear the ceremony.
  • Remember to take any hair ties off your wrist before the wedding ceremony! :)  My poor photographer has a lot of editing to do. Anyone else make this silly mistake?




    WedReMix13AshleyNicole1218bequietgeraallysia02
  • rvg22 said:
    Remember to take any hair ties off your wrist before the wedding ceremony! :)  My poor photographer has a lot of editing to do. Anyone else make this silly mistake?




    Almost!! My bridesmaid caught it though right before we left to go to the ceremony! Thank goodness!
  • I would either not have had an attached train or done more to ensure the bustle was super-easy to do and would hold up to dancing, sitting, etc. My poor sister had a hard time with it and I ended up spending 10-15 minutes in the ladies' room with her after our reception arrival that would better have been spent with our guests. I also should have had separate posed photos taken with my aunt and uncle and some cousins -- we had a short time frame for photos, but it's better to have more than fewer. Other than that, though, it was a great day and we were able to relax and enjoy it after all the planning.
  • Most of the day went well for us.  Here's what I would have done differently:

    -SPEAK UP and BE HONEST about your hair trial  Our hairdresser forced us to wait until 3 days before the wedding to do the trial, and I didn't like what she did. I wanted to do it 2 weeks before, to give us time for another test-run, if we needed it. I should have trusted my gut and spoke up sooner, because she then DITCHED the morning of the wedding! My bridesmaid saved the day and did my hair (fantastically, I might add).  Don't be afraid to be honest about your hair/makeup, because I guarantee it WILL be in 60% or more of the photos.

    -Trust your gut on everything.  If something doesn't "feel" right, check up on it.  Due to a mis-communication, my bridesmaid NEVER picked up her dress, and the MoH (who happened to be her sister) found out the issue 5 days before the wedding.  To make matters worse, the dress didn't fit, so she never wore it once.  Thank God she brought a spare dress that we dressed up with a silver sash.

    -Be careful with "friends" who volunteer to handle things with/for you.  We had a "friend" help us plan the wedding, only to cancel the whole thing behind our backs just 45 days before the wedding date.  Friends CAN save the day (as my BM did), but again, trust your gut.

    -Make sure to have a designated clean-up crew! Nothing is more awkward than seeing most of your guests leave, then seeing the mess left behind, and the remaining guests feel obligated to help (what bride should have to haul garbage in that dress?).  We forgot to take care of that until it happened.  Oops!

    -Lastly, hire a DJ/MC to help the ceremony and reception flow.  We didn't have one, and not only did I completely miss my cue AND "walk" song (I got to the altar as the Bridal Party song was ending), but there wasn't much organization during the reception, so most of the guests left before the cake was cut, the 1st dance done, and the actual dancing could begin.

    GOOD LUCK!!! <3
  • We had a band, thank goodness, that kept the flow of things going.  The weddings 'hosts" as my MIL called them were useless (think announcers).  The background behind the cake table was hideous- the doors to the kitchen and trash cans, ect.  I about flipped out when we started walking towards the table to cut the cake.  Of all the places to put the cake table...  Those pictures will NEVER be framed.  And of course, other than the first dance, aren't those the most important of the reception?  My fi and I had planned to have our toast with beer mugs instead of the traditional champagne.  Lo and behold, he was gone for quite some time to get our drinks, because he had to WAIT IN LINE to get them, no one thought of this ahead of time, and he came back with CANS!  that I let slide because A) he had already been gone a good while and everyone was waiting, and B) the background, remember?  so what did it matter.  Other than that no one ever got me drink- hey, I come from a family who drinks beer for breakfast, I was thirsty!  I guess my biggest regret is not being in control of more than of what I was, but that was my fault-handing things over to my MIL because it "would mean so much to her".  Overall I was extremely happy and I'd rate the day a success.  Wish I would have eaten lunch, but the hairdresser was late, so that made everything else run late after and I skipped lunch to be back on schedule.  Granted, she did a kick*** job on my hair.  I wish I would have been more clear about what I wanted from my photographer, because after the ceremony, I was too tired and hungry (5pm and had not eaten ALL day) to explain what I had wanted.  Sorry for rambling BUT VERY IMPORTANT if you are having pictures taken at the same location as the chapel.  People would not leave!  I tried to get everyone for a group picture, took forever it seemed like- everyone wanted to talk!  and talk and talk!!!  and would not leave!  I finally screamed at everyone (they probably thought what a ***ch!) "Attention everyone, we need this space to take pictures and need you to clear the area.  Please if you want to chat, go ahead the reception and chat there.  The sooner we get the pictures of the way, the sooner we can eat!"  I got some looks, but the formal photos still ran late because we got started so late, and ended up getting 3 phone calls from MIL that everyone was waiting to eat and hungry!  (What, like I wasn't?)  Wish I had had a plan in place to get everyone to LEAVE right after the ceremony so we could take pictures in front of the church.  If you are in the Northern part of Kansas, or Southern part of South Dakota, check out D. J. Bridwell Band, because seriously, if it wasn't for them, my reception would have probably been a disaster.
    I want a love like Johnny & June!
  • I spent a lot of time worrying what other people would do at my wedding that would bother me.  On the day of, I noticed nothing that anybody did, so all the worrying was silly.  Just today I found out my grandfather punched another guest and I never knew!

    Don't forget some pain killers, a hair brush to fix things up, blotting sheets, and some extras of makeup to touch up!  Plan to do everything yourself or hire out help- don't rely on anybody to help.  Think about clean up- our venue staff I knew would handle all of that, but I was very specific about what things should not be cleaned away before the wedding was over so that guests wouldn't feel rushed out.  

    Everyone else has everything else covered!

    May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations

    image

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • The biggest and best piece of advice I can give to brides-to-be is don't fret endlessly in the planning and don't sweat the small stuff.  Do your best to make it a happy and comfortable day for you, your wedding party, and your guests.  Remember that the most important thing is starting your life with your new DH.  After the ceremony, you are going to be so happy and excited that all the little details that may have drove you nuts won't matter at all.

    My biggest disappointment, and it was a minor one, is I paid $150 to get my hair done and it was just a big waste of money. I did the trial hair run the day before with my regular hairdresser (who I love!) and we had everything set and planned for keeping my rigidly straight hair in loose, fat curls...all day long. It takes a minor miracle for that to happen, which she is familiar with. She called me in tears later that night from the hospital. The doctors thought she might have cancer and she was being admitted for testing (she ended up being okay, THANK GOODNESS). She told me she had arranged for another woman at the salon to do my hair.

    The second stringer ignored everything I told her about how hard my hair is to curl and didn't want to set my hair in curlers (that I would then take out myself right before the ceremony).  She used a curling iron/hair spray instead and pulled the old, "Don't worry, chile, I've been a hairdresser for 26 years, and know what I'm doing. Your curls will stay." Yeeeahhh.  Looked great when I left...but not one curl was left two hours later...and that was still two hours before the ceremony, lol.  I should have been more forceful and insisted on the curlers.

    One thing I didn't consider was I was planning to wear a veil the whole time through the reception.  Quite frankly, even if my hair had been extra special looking, no one could really see it that well anyway.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • JoanE2012 said:
    I would have made guests drink more... so more people loosen up and dance

    Also I would have slowed down with the speeches, first dances, etc... its a long night... dont need to rush it
    I think it's good to get the toasts and dances done early on and not spend too much time on them.  You don't want to stop the party partway through to do either of these or drag them out.....as a guest, that would be annoying (and boring).
    yeah but you dont want to feel like you rushed it... like I do now
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Nothing. We went in with just the intentions of getting married and seeing all of our friends, so our wedding was flawless for us :D. I really loved having a pre-wedding brunch for any of our guests who wanted to come as well as the post-wedding s'mores, cocoa and booze party, both at our house. The whole wedding weekend was so fun, and we loved having all of our friends there with us! We even had my family in California at the ceremony via Skype!

  • I almost forgot to bring a sewing kit.  I was SO happy to have them (brought 2), because the zipper on one of the bridesmaid's dresses ripped about 15 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to start.  Thankfully, we had the sewing kit and one of our guests was a seamstress, so we called her into the bridal suite and she sewed my poor bridesmaid into her dress just in time.  I don't really know what we would have done otherwise.  It wasn't like we had a backup dress laying around and we were all wearing really casual, comfy clothes while getting hair and makeup done. 
  • edited November 2013
    Definitely agree with CowgirlBride88 on speaking up about hair and makeup. My first makeup artist quit the salon, so they gave me a free trial with another one who was more of a beginner. He didn't do a terrible job, but it was kind of overdone. I emailed later with some more photos of what I wanted and more explanation, and he backed out -- said he didn't think he could give me what I wanted. I ended up getting some tips and brushes from a MAC store and doing it myself, and it turned out fine -- better than having a nervous beginner practice on me on my wedding day!
  • My best piece of advice is to roll with the punches. There were several little details at our wedding that didn't go as planned, but if you don't let it bother you, no one else will even notice. And the night FLIES by, so why spend any time being upset over anything! Of course everyone wants everything to go perfectly. But odds are that SOMETHING will go wrong.

     

    Also, I read online to put antiperspirant on the inside of your thighs. Great tip, and it stayed on most of the night. Even if you its cold outside, trust me you will work up a sweat dancing with all your guests!

     

    Also my sister saved my life by having a bridal emergency kit that had a stain remover in it. I did a first look and my orange flowers bled on my dress. Also the ground was a little muddy which got on my train. The stain remover worked like a charm though!

  • oh and you can never have too many bobby pins! my hairdresser had like 150 in my hair and I still had to put like 5 extras in even before the ceremony. So bring a pack with you!!
  • As others have mentioned, go with the flow and don't let mix ups bother you. Our wedding was supposed to be outdoors, we even rented a big tent in case of rain. But it rained for a week before the tent was set up, then for the next two weeks. The ground was so soaked that there was no way we could do it outside without people sinking up to their ankles in mud. So we moved it to an indoor location at the very last minute. It wasn't quite as pretty for photos as we had hoped but it still turned out great. Another thing to think about is if any of your bridal party is going to school. Some of ours were and I didn't even think of it when picking a wedding date. We picked a day in September, which made it difficult for the bridal party members who were trying to juggle college and our wedding. 
  • hands down, i would have gotten a wedding planner. the stress of the last week of the wedding is something that still haunts me to this day. i cannot seem to get over it 3 months later
  • Miclan88 said:

    My best piece of advice is to roll with the punches. There were several little details at our wedding that didn't go as planned, but if you don't let it bother you, no one else will even notice. And the night FLIES by, so why spend any time being upset over anything! Of course everyone wants everything to go perfectly. But odds are that SOMETHING will go wrong.

     

    I agree with this. There were a few things on our end but they were minor. I also advise you to take everything in. All those months of planning and spending. Take a moment to SEE everything and enjoy the moment because before your know it, your wedding is over!
  • When thinking about how much money to spend, who you will invite, all the little details that will "make" your day, think about what is *truly* important. There were a few details that in planning I thought were so important, and looking back (not even a month) I can't even remember what they looked like! What I do remember is spending time with guests, being with our BP, taking photos, the ceremony.

    We had a video camera set up to catch our ceremony. I'm glad we did. I teetered on the videographer- a bit pricey. Looking back we came in under budget, so I would have liked to have had one, but at the time it wasn't feasible. But at least we have the video- I feel like the ceremony was a bit of a blur because I was a bit nervous walking down the aisle thinking about how fast I had to walk, where I had to stop, etc etc. I would be nice to sloooow it down! 
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