Rehearsal Dinner, what did you do?

Cokezerofreak · October 2013

I'm having a tough time brainstorming on rehearsal dinner options. Since fiance and I are paying, I don't want to spend more than $500. My house is an option but then I have to clean up. We have a community pool that has some outdoor area which would be free (picnicking type), I can check into the newly renovated lakefront pavilion (looks nice in the pictures) downtown Kissimmee, or a restaurant. Then, what do we do? Do I and my family cook (trying to keep the stress away), caterers seem expensive, a food truck? Go to a restaurant? My problem is that most of my guest will be OOT, so my parents would invite them all (75) because we are freaks like that.

Anyway, what did you do?

KatWAG · October 2013

Can you order a bunch of pizzas or BBQ and have it at your house? Maybe consider a local park, VFW, community center? Just serve soda, water and iced tea. If you are on a budget, there is no need to host alcoholic beveges.

itzMS · October 2013

#1, Your parents don't get to dictate the guest list if they're not paying.

We rented out a party room at our local pub & grill.

zitiqueen · October 2013

Cokezerofreak said:

I'm having a tough time brainstorming on rehearsal dinner options. Since fiance and I are paying, I don't want to spend more than $500. My house is an option but then I have to clean up. We have a community pool that has some outdoor area which would be free (picnicking type), I can check into the newly renovated lakefront pavilion (looks nice in the pictures) downtown Kissimmee, or a restaurant. Then, what do we do? Do I and my family cook (trying to keep the stress away), caterers seem expensive, a food truck? Go to a restaurant? My problem is that most of my guest will be OOT, so my parents would invite them all (75) because we are freaks like that.

Anyway, what did you do?

Order pizzas/subs, or cook up some of those giant Stouffers entrees. Also, cut the guest list down.

ElcaB · October 2013

Lots of restaurants have free party rooms and buffet style options, which would be cheaper than each person ordering a la carte.

Nothing wrong with pizza and beer or grilling hot dogs and burgers. If you don't want to do the work, just order from a grocery store that does catering.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

Are you and your FI inviting all the OOT guests or is that something that your parents are doing without really consulting you? Since you and your FI are paying you control the RD guest list. Honestly, I would cut out the OOT guests and anyone else who is not directly involved with the ceremony and make up a dish or two of stuffed shells (which can be made well in advanced and even frozen then thawed and cooked that day), a nice garden salad, some loaves of italian bread and go to a bakery or a food store and buy a nice cake for dessert.

Cokezerofreak · October 2013

Sorry, I should clarify. It's just not my parents, but his and really the both of us that wouldn't turn anyone away. I know it's not realistic but we feed everyone. Next time you guys are in town, let me know, we'll feed you.

The pizza idea would be great if my FBIL and his wife didn't just do that at their rehearsal (I keep posting we are a lot alike).

Thanks for your ideas. I like the Pub&Grill option. There's one near our venue, too. I'll have to call them up and see.

KatWAG · October 2013

Chipotle caters.

southernbelle0915 · October 2013

Does the pavillion or community center where you live have a grill? If so, do burgers and brats or hot dogs. You can make potato salad, fruit salad and a green salad as sides (all can be made ahead of time or bought at Costco). Easy!

If not, do Italian at your house - lasagna in one pan and baked ziti in the other - both super easy/cheap and can be made ahead of time, frozen and thawed. Use this to serve: (link) and have salad and breadsticks on the side. Depending on the size of your house, you could probably hire someone to clean it and still come in under budget.

lizandmark2014 · October 2013

I love the burgers idea. Please have a salad option and/ or veggie burgers for your guests; if you have invited any vegetarians.

Cokezerofreak · October 2013

@lizandmark2014 My sister is vegetarian so I'm always thinking of that, thank you.

I'm going to price around some pubs, if not maybe do a combination of trays from Publix and the burgers/dogs.

I really appreciate everyone's input.

MuppetOverlord · October 2013

We loved how ours worked out. My friend offered up her beautiful house and we invited about 30 people (half of our wedding guests as we had a 60 person wedding) including the bridal party, our immediate family and out of town folks.

Those who offered to make something did like cookies and a cake and bread. I bought cheese that was already cut up, crackers, bread, chips and salsa and then I ordered 5 entrees (2 different types of chicken tenders, scallops wrapped in bacon, spanicopita, lasagna) from a local restaurant and put them in chafing dishes.

It cost about $400 including alcohol (tons of which we have left over), I brought a big stack of Glad giant containers and people took home what they wanted for food and the rest was fairly easy clean up. We threw out the aluminum pans and filled up the dishwasher.

I loved having it at a house because we got to see people who flew across country and visit with them for an extended period of time (we had no time to sit with them at the wedding beyond the quick table visits) and it was really relaxing. We were able to sit and talk and the next day, people had already met each other when they were chatting at the wedding.

Cokezerofreak · October 2013

@MuppetOverload That's the type of atmosphere I would like. Sounds great!

southernbelle0915

MuppetOverlord · October 2013

I meant to give feedback on my best friends RD.... she had at least 65 people at hers as folks were mostly out of town too.

It was all appetizers, there were a lot of different types of salads that were made in advance like an orzo salad, a greek feta pasta salad, fruit salad... then they had a lot of things in phyllo and some little quiches and lots of shrimp etc...I dont think it was more than $500 for those things.

They did have a TON of alcohol and ended up buying kegs. Originally she was paying for it and we were going to reduce costs by supplying alcohol in the form of punch and beer. Her dad ended up subsidizing it by bringing some kegs.

MuppetOverlord · October 2013

Cokezerofreak said:

@MuppetOverload That's the type of atmosphere I would like. Sounds great!

southernbelle0915

It was. I cleaned. A few people came up to me and said I shouldn't be cleaning because it was our wedding but technically my in laws hosted and they didn't help with anything other than the money and left early.... i wasn't about to stick my friends with it. People automatically started to help me...but it wasn't really that bad.

Lizzieyounce · October 2013

We had a LOT of OOT guests...family mostly. We did the party at our house, and since it was during Lent I got a variety of seafood and veggie apps at Costco, my then FSIL made a huge pot of seafood gumbo and I did a cheese, fruit and cracker station. We set it up like a buffet and bought chaffing dishes/warming pans from Party City. All of the dishes and cutlery were from Party City as well, they have some nice "silver" disposable cutlery and pretty silver rimmed plastic cocktail saucers and bowls. The table covers were some table cloths that mom gave me years ago (pretty lace and damask) so I used my own.

I bought wine and beer from Costco as well, and made a mess of Iced Tea, put out sodas and a few ice buckets. I shopped for wine and soda when it went on sale and just socked it away.

All told our open house cost about $350 and we hosted 50 people. I hired some classmates to come and heat up and plate the apps, set out the chaffing dishes and heat up the gumbo. I had two young ladies and I paid them $50 a piece...they even cleaned up.

A house party is doable, it just takes a bit of planning and buying the food and sodas on sale. If you don't do gumbo, a big pot of pasta and meat sauce is great, or alfredo sauce with shredded chicken is good too. Or you could pre make and freeze a few pans of lasagna. Costco or Sams has excellent prices on their apps, which only require warming or cooking in the oven. I also bought bagged salads, which we put in a couple of bowls and put the dressings in nice bowls with spoons for service.

We kept it very casual, and it was a chance for us to relax and visit with our friends and family before the big day. We started at 6 and everyone was gone by 10:30.

KytchynWitche · October 2013

This makes me SO glad that rehearsal dinners are not something done here. Obviously we have rehearsals, there just isn't usually a meal involved...

Maggie0829 · October 2013

urbaneca said:

This makes me SO glad that rehearsal dinners are not something done here. Obviously we have rehearsals, there just isn't usually a meal involved...

That is considered rude. If you have people come out to a rehearsal then you should host something for them to thank them for taking time out of their day to rehearse your wedding ceremony.

KytchynWitche · October 2013

urbaneca said:

This makes me SO glad that rehearsal dinners are not something done here. Obviously we have rehearsals, there just isn't usually a meal involved...

That is considered rude. If you have people come out to a rehearsal then you should host something for them to thank them for taking time out of their day to rehearse your wedding ceremony.

Stuck in the box...

I am aware that it's considered rude in America, but in South Africa (where I am) it is very unusual to have a rehearsal dinner, at least of the formal variety I usually see on screen and discussed here. I believe some couples here do have a barbecue or go out for drinks with the bridal party post-rehearsal, which we will most likely do anyway. As far as I can see, it's sort of assumed that if you agree to be part of the bridal party, your participation in a rehearsal is implied, and you'd be "thanked" by the couple once for all your involvement. It may seem strange but that's how it's done here.

smalfrie19 · October 2013

My grandparents have offered their house for the Rehersal dinner and we are just going to order pizza and have beer and soda...

radleyboo · October 2013

We had ours at the restaurant where we got married, we kept it just to the WP, their SO's and children, and our parents. We ordered deli trays, salads, and desserts through the restaurant, offered beer and wine and non-alcoholic beverages. I think it was right around $300-don't remember exactly because H's mom paid for it and I didn't see the final tab. We knew her budget and worked with the restaurant to stay under it. If you call up some places and say, "Hi, we have a budget of X and need to feed Y people for a rehearsal dinner at Z. What are your suggestions?" a lot of places can be very helpful. Good luck and have fun!

Cokezerofreak · October 2013

Thank you all!

Rehearsal Dinner, what did you do?

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