Gifts for Parents

Re: Gifts for Parents

• Maggie0829 member

  

  October 2013

  H and I did not get our parents gifts and my parents paid for the wedding and his paid for the RD.  I personally know that my parents would have been upset with us if we got them a present (my Mom actually told me not to get them anything).

  
  

  So no, presents for your parents are not required no matter if they are paying or not.

  
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  October 2013

  candie9753 said:

  Is it necessary to always get a gift for the parents during the wedding?  My fiance and I are 100% funding the wedding on our own.... we aren't receiving ANY help from either set of parents.  No help with planning, no financing help.... you get the picture.  We are SERIOUSLY struggling with funding the wedding as it is (and getting everything done) and in my budget I'm trying to cut corners anywhere I can.  I feel that you should be getting a gift for the parents to thank them for their work during the wedding and I'm just not feeling very thankful towards either set of parents right now.  What does everything think?

  When you say "to thank them for their work during the wedding" what do you mean? If they are helping you with stuff, I think it would be nice to get them a gift. If you do want to get them a gift, it can be something very small. If they're not helping with anything and pretty much attending as guests, a gift is not necessary.

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• itzMS member

  

  October 2013

  Not required.
  
  We did write each set of parents a heartfelt card thanking them for their love and support. They also received a photobook and prints of their choice after the wedding.

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• climbingsingle member

  

  October 2013

  FI and I are paying for everything ourselves. We're not buying our parents anything. My gift to my parents is a new, really awesome son-in-law. 

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• candie9753 member

  

  October 2013

  Thank you all.  This is very helpful.  I guess it would be nice to give them a photo album or nice picture frame with a wedding photo but I guess i shouldn't drive myself crazy with going above and beyond with a gift (something I tend to do).  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  October 2013

  candie9753 said:

  Thank you all.  This is very helpful.  I guess it would be nice to give them a photo album or nice picture frame with a wedding photo but I guess i shouldn't drive myself crazy with going above and beyond with a gift (something I tend to do).  

  H and I gave our sets of parents a small photo album with pictures from the wedding as one of their Christmas gifts.

  
  

  And to the bolded...exactly this.

  
  

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• NYCMercedes member

  

  October 2013

  I'm a parent who pretty much paid for the weddings. A sincere thank you and a photo album are more than enough.

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• AroundTheBlock member

  

  October 2013

  Absolutely not required. "Gifts" are never required -- that's what makes them "gifts" rather than "compensation in kind". 

  Even if you were feeling thankful to your parents, a heartfelt thank-you is in perfect taste all by itself and no material gift adds anything of real value to it: this is so much a principle of etiquette that "a simple thank-you will suffice" is one of those oft-heard aphorism that great-aunts bestow on their young relatives while teaching them all those other social niceties like "put your napkin in your lap as soon as you sit down" and "offer the cake to your guest first".

  That being said, your thankfulness to your parents should not rest only on what they've done to help you get ready for your wedding. Surely you are thankful to your future in-laws for the wonderful man that they raised? And your fiance probably feels thankful to your own parents for similar reasons.

   

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• photokitty mod

  

  October 2013

  In my family we give my parents a framed photo from the wedding and /or a wedding album made at Picaboo or Shutterfly with a $10 Groupon. We also give it to them after the wedding. Like Maggie, my parents don't want up spending money on them. We wrote them a thank you note immediately - there photo album still has to be made :-p

  ~xoxo~

  
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  October 2013 edited October 2013

  It isn't "required" per se, but doing something nice for them that fits in your budget and schedule should be appreciated.  Certainly you can write them a thank-you note and say in a speech at the wedding how much you appreciate the help they've given you in the rest of your life, since they aren't helping with the wedding.
  

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• XrebeccaX member

  

  October 2013

  We are getting our parents albums from our photographer. He has an option called a "parent" album so it seemed like the way to go!

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• annathy03 member

  

  October 2013

  We're planning to give them a card (and possibly a frame with a recent photo of us) and then a shutterfly or similar book once wedding photos come back.  My mom is contributing to our wedding budget and FIs parents are hosting the RD, but photos are the gift that will mean the most to them.

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• KickAssMOH member

  

  October 2013

  I gave my MIL a beautiful swarovski necklace, but it was the heartfelt card that brought her to tears and really made the "gift" special. If I could get a re-do, I would've stuck with just a card.

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