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what do you think amy told her to do?

hmonkeyhmonkey member
Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
edited October 2013 in Wedding Woes
Dear Amy: I am in a relationship with a wonderful man. We've been together for 18 months. The relationship is good, and he claims to love me. However, I'm starting to observe some things about him that I don't like.

He seems to love the attention of other women. When we're out, he'll see women around us and start conversations with them. They will laugh and joke in my presence. I've walked away a few times during these interactions.

Whenever I mention to him how it makes me feel, he'll say something like "I'm only being nice" or "Am I supposed to walk with my head down and pay attention to only you?"

Do you think I'm being overly sensitive like he says? — Tired
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what do you think amy told her to do? 26 votes

yes, you are being overly sensitive
15% 4 votes
no, you are not being overly sensitive
7% 2 votes
oh, is it your time of the month?
3% 1 vote
you should laugh and joke with him
26% 7 votes
some combination of the above
46% 12 votes
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Re: what do you think amy told her to do?

  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2013

    I'm going to say "laugh and joke with him".  I really hope @auntflo was left out of the response.

    ETA:  I don't think "laugh" is the good advice, just what I'm guessing Amy told her.

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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper

    Dear Tired: Yes, you are being overly sensitive. I'm going to assume that your boyfriend was like this when you two met and fell in love. In the early days of your relationship you might have actually been drawn to this trait of his.

    So unless he has changed recently, your primary job is to examine your own reaction to this and figure out if you can behave differently in order to feel better. Walking away is not the answer.

    He should make an effort to include you. If he needs to be better at this, then ask him to work on it. Secure and successful couples put their relationship at the center of social interactions but also include others. Laughing and joking with other people sounds like a good thing. You should try it.

    image
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Amy sucks.
    image
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    And no mention on why it's never men that he's talking to.
    image
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I feel like I would need more to this before judging the dude.

    SHE is only seeing the women.  We don't know that he doesn't just like being the center of attention and takes it from anyone and she doesn't care about men, only women, etc.  

    Unless his joke is, "Hey, wanna go home and be the 3rd person in my bed?" and she's not comfortable with it, I don't really see anything to be all hepped up about in this w/o more info.
    �
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Team Varuna.
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