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kids of SO

rycbar123rycbar123 member
Second Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

I have been a long time lurker of this bored and have yet to find a solution to my problem.  For our wedding we are having an outdoor ceremony and my uncle is becoming an ordained minister so he can wed us.  He is divorced and has a girlfriend now whom the whole family, including me, likes.  She has two kids who she has brought to family functions like Christmas and Thanksgiving.  I know that she needs to be invited that's not a problem for us at all.  My question is if protocol calls for her kids to be invited too.  We are only inviting kids of family members invited to the wedding but I didn't know if she should/is included in that group. 

 

thanks for all the help in advance!

 

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Re: kids of SO

  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Are your uncle's kids invited (or if he has none, are kids of other aunts/uncles invited)? If so, I would include hers.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    Technically, no. From an etiquette perspective, they do not need to be invited. 

    However, if you're inviting a lot of other kids in the family and/or any kids of your uncle (if he has any), I would reconsider. If this is the case and you can afford two more kids, I'd probably do it. Only you know your family dynamic, so consider that as well.
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Depends on their age, IMHO.

    If they're similar age to the other kids being invited, I would.

    If they're teenagers, and the other kids are younger...I'd consider not inviting them...they will probably appreciate the time away from mom

    I'd ask your uncle to be sure.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
     Either way, I don't think there is a wrong answer. You don't have to invite her kids. I didn't invite the adult kids of the fiance of one of my GM (I barely know the kids) and there weren't any issues. But can you invite them, it would be nice. It's a personal call.
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  • rycbar123rycbar123 member
    Second Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    My uncle does have two kids and they are both invited.  I will probably end up inviting them as of right now just so there isn't any confusion. Thanks for all your imput.

     

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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    jaydee4219 said:
    My uncle does have two kids and they are both invited.  I will probably end up inviting them as of right now just so there isn't any confusion. Thanks for all your imput.
    I think it would be pretty bad to not invite her kids given this additional information.

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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    jessicabessica said:
    jaydee4219 said:
    My uncle does have two kids and they are both invited.  I will probably end up inviting them as of right now just so there isn't any confusion. Thanks for all your imput.
    I think it would be pretty bad to not invite her kids given this additional information.

    I agree.  This is a situation where the kids could really get their feelings hurt.  It sounds like they are treated like part of your family and to not be invited to your wedding when the other kids are could be painful.  
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    If there is a family unit that is being invited (as in, parents and children) all of the children of that unit should be invited unless all children are 100% in the true adult category (like every child is 18+).

    If I invite my cousin, her husband and her young children, then her young step children should be invited also (but whether or not they choose to attend is their decision). If I didn't, I would be sending the message that her biological children are the only kids of that family that matter.


    Now, I think that when dealing with adult-step-children, the situation is a bit different. I am 23 and am not at all close with my step siblings (my dad's wife's children) who are in their late-20's to 30's. They are are 6-10 years older than I am. I do not expect to be invited to their cousin-who-I-have-never-met's wedding. Dealing with young children is much different than adult children.


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  • WildMageletWildMagelet member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I always appreciate it when FI's kids are invited to family functions on my side of the family.  If you're inviting his kids I would invite hers as well.  
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
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