Receiving line

T1990 · October 2013

So last night FI aunt put in her input on what we should do. She told FI that I need to do a dollar dance (Don't worry I know that is a BIG NO NO! and I will NOT be doing that) She also said that while everyone is eating we need to walk around to all 160 of our guest and thank them for coming. I am sorry I want to eat when everyone else is eating so I do not want to walk around to everyone at that time.

This did get me thinking I have seen where people have posted about a receiving line. I have been to 2 weddings in the past month and neither of them have done one so I am not really sure what they are. We have 2 weeks until the wedding is this something I could squeeze in this late in the planning and if so when do people usually do them? Is it necessary?

southernbelle0915 · October 2013

T1990 said:

So last night FI aunt put in her input on what we should do. She told FI that I need to do a dollar dance (Don't worry I know that is a BIG NO NO! and I will NOT be doing that) She also said that while everyone is eating we need to walk around to all 160 of our guest and thank them for coming. I am sorry I want to eat when everyone else is eating so I do not want to walk around to everyone at that time.

This did get me thinking I have seen where people have posted about a receiving line. I have been to 2 weddings in the past month and neither of them have done one so I am not really sure what they are. We have 2 weeks until the wedding is this something I could squeeze in this late in the planning and if so when do people usually do them? Is it necessary?

We did a receiving line and we were both VERY glad we did it. You need to talk to each person and thank them for coming in some way - whether you visit tables or do a receiving line. For us, a receiving line was the better choice.

So once we were announced as husband and wife, we walked up the aisle together followed by our parents. We formed a line right outside where people would exit. Our receiving line consisted of our parents and us. As guests exited, we "received" them and thanked them for attending the ceremony.

PrettyGirlLost · October 2013

T1990 said:

So last night FI aunt put in her input on what we should do. She told FI that I need to do a dollar dance (Don't worry I know that is a BIG NO NO! and I will NOT be doing that) She also said that while everyone is eating we need to walk around to all 160 of our guest and thank them for coming. I am sorry I want to eat when everyone else is eating so I do not want to walk around to everyone at that time.

This did get me thinking I have seen where people have posted about a receiving line. I have been to 2 weddings in the past month and neither of them have done one so I am not really sure what they are. We have 2 weeks until the wedding is this something I could squeeze in this late in the planning and if so when do people usually do them? Is it necessary?

Receiving lines are typically held right after your wedding ceremony. They typically include the Bride and Groom and their parents. Some people make the entire bridal party stand in the receiving line- don't do this! It's awkward and unnecessary for everyone involved, both guests and your wedding party.

The point of the receiving line is to allow you and the groom and your parents the opportunity to greet and thank each one of your guests, and it is an alternative to table visits. However, keep in mind that not every guest will go through a receiving line, so if you have one you still need to make an effort to spend a little bit of time with each of your guests at your reception.

Be sure to keep the line moving, if you do decide to do one. Some people will try and have a 20minute conversation with you, so politely tell them that you will speak with them more at the reception and then encourage them to move along. Otherwise, receiving lines can take forever, especially if you have 100+ guests.

Table visits do not have to interrupt your meal time; typically the bride and groom are served 1st, which will allow you both to eat before many of your guests are served, and thus give you time to do table visits after your own meal.

T1990 · October 2013

Thanks yall! I did figure we would be talking more after dinner to everyone. The past 2 weddings I went to the bride and groom didn't even dance after their first dances because too many people wanted to talk and I totally get that.

Is it going to cause too much of a gap between ceremony and reception? There is a cocktail hour between ceremony and reception already because we are planning to take a few pictures after ceremony.

HisGirlFriday13 · October 2013

T1990 said:

So last night FI aunt put in her input on what we should do. She told FI that I need to do a dollar dance (Don't worry I know that is a BIG NO NO! and I will NOT be doing that) She also said that while everyone is eating we need to walk around to all 160 of our guest and thank them for coming. I am sorry I want to eat when everyone else is eating so I do not want to walk around to everyone at that time.

This did get me thinking I have seen where people have posted about a receiving line. I have been to 2 weddings in the past month and neither of them have done one so I am not really sure what they are. We have 2 weeks until the wedding is this something I could squeeze in this late in the planning and if so when do people usually do them? Is it necessary?

You must do either a receiving line OR table visits, but not both. You have to greet your guests and thank them for coming. There are three options:

1. Dismiss people by pews. You and H exit after the ceremony, then come back in and dismiss each pew of people, greeting them as you do so. I've seen this done, and I personally hate it (it takes forever, I just want to leave, I hate sitting in my pew while you hug every damn person you've invited, etc.), but it is an option.

2. Have a receiving line. You, DH, your parents, if they're hosting, his parents, if you/he want. You exit after the ceremony, stand in the back of the church, greet people as they leave.

3. Do table visits, in which you go to every table and greet every guest.

Which one you do is up to you, but you must do one of them. How many guests you're having will determine which option is best for you. We did a receiving line at the church, but we had 90 guests, so it went very quickly.

T1990 · October 2013

Awesome! That is what I needed to know everyone thank you for your advice. I think I am going to have us and my parents and his parents stand at the end of the aisle as everyone is getting up to head to the cocktail hour.

Thank yall! I really enjoy this board I have learned so much from it!!! I really appreciate it!

melbelleup · October 2013

T1990 said:

So last night FI aunt put in her input on what we should do. She told FI that I need to do a dollar dance (Don't worry I know that is a BIG NO NO! and I will NOT be doing that) She also said that while everyone is eating we need to walk around to all 160 of our guest and thank them for coming. I am sorry I want to eat when everyone else is eating so I do not want to walk around to everyone at that time.

This did get me thinking I have seen where people have posted about a receiving line. I have been to 2 weddings in the past month and neither of them have done one so I am not really sure what they are. We have 2 weeks until the wedding is this something I could squeeze in this late in the planning and if so when do people usually do them? Is it necessary?

Ok. Receiving lines: You do it at the church after you walk out the doors. Each guest then gets to shake your hand, hug you, tell you how beautiful you look, how wonderful the ceremony was, introduce yourselves to them (if you don't know everyone), and thank them for attending. You can easily plan this with no time.. You either do your whole wedding party, your parents and Fi's parents, or you can do just you and your FI. My FI and I will be having one as my parents love receiving lines and I'm perfectly fine with that. We'll be doing most likely just my FI and I.. if anything we'll add his parents and my parents. My WP are my siblings, their SOs and mine and FI's friends... it would be odd having our friends in the receiving line since obviously no one will know them.

It is not required to have a receiving line BUT you should either do a receiving line or go around to tables and thank people. I'm doing both, but at least if I don't get to every table, it won't be that big of a deal since I already told them thank you for coming. As Bride and Groom, you guys will get fed first. You finish eating then go visit while your guests are eating. It's simple. Tables are nice because you don't have to hug everyone and shake hands. You stand there for 3-5 minutes and say thank you to everyone for coming and move on.

melbelleup · October 2013

T1990 said:

Awesome! That is what I needed to know everyone thank you for your advice. I think I am going to have us and my parents and his parents stand at the end of the aisle as everyone is getting up to head to the cocktail hour.

Thank yall! I really enjoy this board I have learned so much from it!!! I really appreciate it!

LOL I should really read replies before going to post. But I'm glad you figured it out

CallaLily25 · October 2013

There has to be some point during the night where you thank/greet your guests. It's personal preference as to whether you do table visits or you do a receiving line. A receiving line is typically done right after the ceremony. Depending on your guest list, I would account for 10-20 minutes for the receiving line. I also prefer this option so that you don't have to rush through dinner or worry about missing tables or guests if for some reason you forget a table or someone isn't at the table when you visit.

AroundTheBlock · October 2013

Standard etiquette requires that a hostess always greet her guests as they arrive at her party. A receiving line is the best way to greet all your guests at the door if you have more than a couple of dozen guests. Your ceremony isn't a party and you are not the hostess at the ceremony, so you do not greet as they arrive there. Common though it has become for brides to hold their receiving line at the church, that is still not in accordance with standard etiquette.

Standard etiquette also deprecates wandering around during a formal dinner. At the most formal dinners, diners are not supposed to get up from the table for any reason until the final course. There are some very specific exceptions to this rule and one of those exceptions is that the hosts may get up to serve the subtlety (that is, a ceremonial cake or other show-case dessert or sweet). That is the time when you would be doing your "table visits".

It isn't really an either/or. Greeting your guests on arrival is mandated by standard etiquette, whether you have a receiving line or just mill around making sure that you greet everyone. If you are the hosts, you remain responsible for everyone's comfort for the whole duration of the party, so you will need to continue to keep an eye on the room, notice the lonely or neglected guest and go over to introduce her to some more friends, circulating and keeping everyone feeling wanted and welcome, dancing with people who don't have partners, dropping a conciliatory word into conversations that are becoming heated, and distracting bores so that their victims can make a get-away. That should provide you with dozens of additional opportunities to have a word or two with everyone.

southernbelle0915 · October 2013

AroundTheBlock said:

Standard etiquette requires that a hostess always greet her guests as they arrive at her party. A receiving line is the best way to greet all your guests at the door if you have more than a couple of dozen guests. Your ceremony isn't a party and you are not the hostess at the ceremony, so you do not greet as they arrive there. Common though it has become for brides to hold their receiving line at the church, that is still not in accordance with standard etiquette.
Standard etiquette also deprecates wandering around during a formal dinner. At the most formal dinners, diners are not supposed to get up from the table for any reason until the final course. There are some very specific exceptions to this rule and one of those exceptions is that the hosts may get up to serve the subtlety (that is, a ceremonial cake or other show-case dessert or sweet). That is the time when you would be doing your "table visits".
It isn't really an either/or. Greeting your guests on arrival is mandated by standard etiquette, whether you have a receiving line or just mill around making sure that you greet everyone. If you are the hosts, you remain responsible for everyone's comfort for the whole duration of the party, so you will need to continue to keep an eye on the room, notice the lonely or neglected guest and go over to introduce her to some more friends, circulating and keeping everyone feeling wanted and welcome, dancing with people who don't have partners, dropping a conciliatory word into conversations that are becoming heated, and distracting bores so that their victims can make a get-away. That should provide you with dozens of additional opportunities to have a word or two with everyone.

I understand what you're talking about in about 2% of your posts. They're so long, fractured and are often non-applicable to the OP's question. It's like you use someone's thread to try and create a novel about proper etiquette and it just comes off as babble that doesn't make sense.

To the bolded in the first paragraph: I've never in my life seen a receiving line prior to the ceremony. Has anyone else seen this? Every single receiving line I've ever seen is AFTER the ceremony to receive/thank the guests for attending and to bridge from ceremony to cocktail hour/reception.

To the bolded in the second paragraph: Not all weddings are formal dinners and I have NEVER heard that the only exception to getting up during a formal dinner is for the hosts to serve sweets. Huh?! If you have a reputable etiquette citation for this, I'd love to read it and learn something new. Can you provide this?

To the bolded in the third paragraph: Yes - the hosts should ensure that people feel welcomed and provide a comfortable and hosted environment. But they are certainly not responsible for talking to every person who is sitting by themselves, dancing with anyone who is dancing alone, or monitoring every single conversation and ensuring that guests make friends. No. Just no.

Jen4948 · October 2013

My comments are in italics.

southernbelle0915 said:

AroundTheBlock said:

Standard etiquette requires that a hostess always greet her guests as they arrive at her party. A receiving line is the best way to greet all your guests at the door if you have more than a couple of dozen guests. Your ceremony isn't a party and you are not the hostess at the ceremony, so you do not greet as they arrive there. Common though it has become for brides to hold their receiving line at the church, that is still not in accordance with standard etiquette.
Standard etiquette also deprecates wandering around during a formal dinner. At the most formal dinners, diners are not supposed to get up from the table for any reason until the final course. There are some very specific exceptions to this rule and one of those exceptions is that the hosts may get up to serve the subtlety (that is, a ceremonial cake or other show-case dessert or sweet). That is the time when you would be doing your "table visits".
It isn't really an either/or. Greeting your guests on arrival is mandated by standard etiquette, whether you have a receiving line or just mill around making sure that you greet everyone. If you are the hosts, you remain responsible for everyone's comfort for the whole duration of the party, so you will need to continue to keep an eye on the room, notice the lonely or neglected guest and go over to introduce her to some more friends, circulating and keeping everyone feeling wanted and welcome, dancing with people who don't have partners, dropping a conciliatory word into conversations that are becoming heated, and distracting bores so that their victims can make a get-away. That should provide you with dozens of additional opportunities to have a word or two with everyone.

I understand what you're talking about in about 2% of your posts. They're so long, fractured and are often non-applicable to the OP's question. It's like you use someone's thread to try and create a novel about proper etiquette and it just comes off as babble that doesn't make sense.

To the bolded in the first paragraph: I've never in my life seen a receiving line prior to the ceremony. Has anyone else seen this? Not me. Every single receiving line I've ever seen is AFTER the ceremony to receive/thank the guests for attending and to bridge from ceremony to cocktail hour/reception. The time and place for a receiving line is at the start of the reception, as the guests arrive.

To the bolded in the second paragraph: Not all weddings are formal dinners and I have NEVER heard that the only exception to getting up during a formal dinner is for the hosts to serve sweets. Huh?! If you have a reputable etiquette citation for this, I'd love to read it and learn something new. Can you provide this? Even at a formal dinner, I've never heard of hosts getting up to serve sweets. They are certainly not going to do this at a wedding. That's the waitstaff's job. There is no etiquette reason for hosts not to do table visits if they wish.

To the bolded in the third paragraph: Yes - the hosts should ensure that people feel welcomed and provide a comfortable and hosted environment. But they are certainly not responsible for talking to every person who is sitting by themselves, dancing with anyone who is dancing alone, or monitoring every single conversation and ensuring that guests make friends. No. Just no. Times 100. When it comes to social interaction, the guests need to be presumed mature enough to take care of themselves-and making sure that guests don't get out of line is what security is for. Hosts who intervene in arguments could get hurt.

arrippa · October 2013

T1990 said:

Awesome! That is what I needed to know everyone thank you for your advice. I think I am going to have us and my parents and his parents stand at the end of the aisle as everyone is getting up to head to the cocktail hour.

Thank yall! I really enjoy this board I have learned so much from it!!! I really appreciate it!

I am glad that you are keeping it short. I went to a wedding that had a receiving line that included the couple, their bridal party, both full sets of family. There were 30 people to greet and with 200 guests, it took forever.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

But what happens when in the middle of this amazing formal dinner I need to pee? Am I not allowed to get up?

ashleyep · October 2013

As a guest, I hate receiving lines. If I'm a friend of the bride, I probably don't want to talk to her parents, and I definitely don't want to talk to him parents. It's so awkward!

mysticl · October 2013

Jen4948 said:

My comments are in italics.

southernbelle0915 said:

AroundTheBlock said:

Standard etiquette requires that a hostess always greet her guests as they arrive at her party. A receiving line is the best way to greet all your guests at the door if you have more than a couple of dozen guests. Your ceremony isn't a party and you are not the hostess at the ceremony, so you do not greet as they arrive there. Common though it has become for brides to hold their receiving line at the church, that is still not in accordance with standard etiquette.
Standard etiquette also deprecates wandering around during a formal dinner. At the most formal dinners, diners are not supposed to get up from the table for any reason until the final course. There are some very specific exceptions to this rule and one of those exceptions is that the hosts may get up to serve the subtlety (that is, a ceremonial cake or other show-case dessert or sweet). That is the time when you would be doing your "table visits".
It isn't really an either/or. Greeting your guests on arrival is mandated by standard etiquette, whether you have a receiving line or just mill around making sure that you greet everyone. If you are the hosts, you remain responsible for everyone's comfort for the whole duration of the party, so you will need to continue to keep an eye on the room, notice the lonely or neglected guest and go over to introduce her to some more friends, circulating and keeping everyone feeling wanted and welcome, dancing with people who don't have partners, dropping a conciliatory word into conversations that are becoming heated, and distracting bores so that their victims can make a get-away. That should provide you with dozens of additional opportunities to have a word or two with everyone.

I understand what you're talking about in about 2% of your posts. They're so long, fractured and are often non-applicable to the OP's question. It's like you use someone's thread to try and create a novel about proper etiquette and it just comes off as babble that doesn't make sense.

To the bolded in the first paragraph: I've never in my life seen a receiving line prior to the ceremony. Has anyone else seen this? Not me. Every single receiving line I've ever seen is AFTER the ceremony to receive/thank the guests for attending and to bridge from ceremony to cocktail hour/reception. The time and place for a receiving line is at the start of the reception, as the guests arrive. That doesn't really work at a wedding reception because the guests normally arrive at the reception prior to the bride and groom. Hence the receiving line being held at the ceremony location as the guests are departing.

To the bolded in the second paragraph: Not all weddings are formal dinners and I have NEVER heard that the only exception to getting up during a formal dinner is for the hosts to serve sweets. Huh?! If you have a reputable etiquette citation for this, I'd love to read it and learn something new. Can you provide this? Even at a formal dinner, I've never heard of hosts getting up to serve sweets. They are certainly not going to do this at a wedding. That's the waitstaff's job. There is no etiquette reason for hosts not to do table visits if they wish.

To the bolded in the third paragraph: Yes - the hosts should ensure that people feel welcomed and provide a comfortable and hosted environment. But they are certainly not responsible for talking to every person who is sitting by themselves, dancing with anyone who is dancing alone, or monitoring every single conversation and ensuring that guests make friends. No. Just no. Times 100. When it comes to social interaction, the guests need to be presumed mature enough to take care of themselves-and making sure that guests don't get out of line is what security is for. Hosts who intervene in arguments could get hurt.

mysticl · October 2013

ashleyep said:

As a guest, I hate receiving lines. If I'm a friend of the bride, I probably don't want to talk to her parents, and I definitely don't want to talk to him parents. It's so awkward!

That's why only my husband and I were in the receiving line. As a guest I usually just greet the bride and groom and then jump out of the line, rather than talk to people I've never met and will probably never see again.

JoanE2012 · October 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

AroundTheBlock said:

Standard etiquette requires that a hostess always greet her guests as they arrive at her party. A receiving line is the best way to greet all your guests at the door if you have more than a couple of dozen guests. Your ceremony isn't a party and you are not the hostess at the ceremony, so you do not greet as they arrive there. Common though it has become for brides to hold their receiving line at the church, that is still not in accordance with standard etiquette.
Standard etiquette also deprecates wandering around during a formal dinner. At the most formal dinners, diners are not supposed to get up from the table for any reason until the final course. There are some very specific exceptions to this rule and one of those exceptions is that the hosts may get up to serve the subtlety (that is, a ceremonial cake or other show-case dessert or sweet). That is the time when you would be doing your "table visits".
It isn't really an either/or. Greeting your guests on arrival is mandated by standard etiquette, whether you have a receiving line or just mill around making sure that you greet everyone. If you are the hosts, you remain responsible for everyone's comfort for the whole duration of the party, so you will need to continue to keep an eye on the room, notice the lonely or neglected guest and go over to introduce her to some more friends, circulating and keeping everyone feeling wanted and welcome, dancing with people who don't have partners, dropping a conciliatory word into conversations that are becoming heated, and distracting bores so that their victims can make a get-away. That should provide you with dozens of additional opportunities to have a word or two with everyone.

I understand what you're talking about in about 2% of your posts. They're so long, fractured and are often non-applicable to the OP's question. It's like you use someone's thread to try and create a novel about proper etiquette and it just comes off as babble that doesn't make sense.

To the bolded in the first paragraph: I've never in my life seen a receiving line prior to the ceremony. Has anyone else seen this? Every single receiving line I've ever seen is AFTER the ceremony to receive/thank the guests for attending and to bridge from ceremony to cocktail hour/reception.

To the bolded in the second paragraph: Not all weddings are formal dinners and I have NEVER heard that the only exception to getting up during a formal dinner is for the hosts to serve sweets. Huh?! If you have a reputable etiquette citation for this, I'd love to read it and learn something new. Can you provide this?

To the bolded in the third paragraph: Yes - the hosts should ensure that people feel welcomed and provide a comfortable and hosted environment. But they are certainly not responsible for talking to every person who is sitting by themselves, dancing with anyone who is dancing alone, or monitoring every single conversation and ensuring that guests make friends. No. Just no.

Agree. I feel like every time I see a post from AroundTheBlock it starts with "Standard etiquette.....". I'd like to know the source(s) from which this "etiquette" is culled from.

PolarBearFitz · October 2013

ashleyep said:

As a guest, I hate receiving lines. If I'm a friend of the bride, I probably don't want to talk to her parents, and I definitely don't want to talk to him parents. It's so awkward!

Too awkward/not worth it to say on of the following?

Hi, *shake hands*, beautiful/nice ceremony, nice to meet you, thanks for inviting me/us...

Receiving lines aren't to make friends or have hour long conversations. They are to thank/greet your guests. If someone is my friend and at my wedding I definitely want them to say hello/meet the most important people to me, my family. Even if it is for two seconds to say hello and thanks for coming.

ashleyep · October 2013

aefitz29 said:

ashleyep said:

As a guest, I hate receiving lines. If I'm a friend of the bride, I probably don't want to talk to her parents, and I definitely don't want to talk to him parents. It's so awkward!

Too awkward/not worth it to say on of the following?

Hi, *shake hands*, beautiful/nice ceremony, nice to meet you, thanks for inviting me/us...

Receiving lines aren't to make friends or have hour long conversations. They are to thank/greet your guests. If someone is my friend and at my wedding I definitely want them to say hello/meet the most important people to me, my family. Even if it is for two seconds to say hello and thanks for coming.

I'm just saying that I don't like talking to strangers. I'm terrible at small talk, I don't want to thank a stranger for inviting me, because they didn't, their child did. Plus, while that's all I really should have to say, the person in front of me is talking up a storm and this line isn't moving, and now I'm awkwardly standing with you with nothing to say. I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't have a receiving line, just that as a guest I prefer table visits.

Jen4948 · October 2013

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

My comments are in italics and bold italics.

southernbelle0915 said:

AroundTheBlock said:

Standard etiquette requires that a hostess always greet her guests as they arrive at her party. A receiving line is the best way to greet all your guests at the door if you have more than a couple of dozen guests. Your ceremony isn't a party and you are not the hostess at the ceremony, so you do not greet as they arrive there. Common though it has become for brides to hold their receiving line at the church, that is still not in accordance with standard etiquette.
Standard etiquette also deprecates wandering around during a formal dinner. At the most formal dinners, diners are not supposed to get up from the table for any reason until the final course. There are some very specific exceptions to this rule and one of those exceptions is that the hosts may get up to serve the subtlety (that is, a ceremonial cake or other show-case dessert or sweet). That is the time when you would be doing your "table visits".
It isn't really an either/or. Greeting your guests on arrival is mandated by standard etiquette, whether you have a receiving line or just mill around making sure that you greet everyone. If you are the hosts, you remain responsible for everyone's comfort for the whole duration of the party, so you will need to continue to keep an eye on the room, notice the lonely or neglected guest and go over to introduce her to some more friends, circulating and keeping everyone feeling wanted and welcome, dancing with people who don't have partners, dropping a conciliatory word into conversations that are becoming heated, and distracting bores so that their victims can make a get-away. That should provide you with dozens of additional opportunities to have a word or two with everyone.

I understand what you're talking about in about 2% of your posts. They're so long, fractured and are often non-applicable to the OP's question. It's like you use someone's thread to try and create a novel about proper etiquette and it just comes off as babble that doesn't make sense.

To the bolded in the first paragraph: I've never in my life seen a receiving line prior to the ceremony. Has anyone else seen this? Not me. Every single receiving line I've ever seen is AFTER the ceremony to receive/thank the guests for attending and to bridge from ceremony to cocktail hour/reception. The time and place for a receiving line is at the start of the reception, as the guests arrive. That doesn't really work at a wedding reception because the guests normally arrive at the reception prior to the bride and groom. Hence the receiving line being held at the ceremony location as the guests are departing. The couple and family are supposed to arrive there first. That's part of why it's not appropriate to do a receiving line at the ceremony venue. The couple et al need to depart immediately after the ceremony to get to the reception venue so they can "receive" their guests. That's also a big part of the reason why gaps are not a good idea. But this is also why table visits are an acceptable alternative to receiving lines.

To the bolded in the second paragraph: Not all weddings are formal dinners and I have NEVER heard that the only exception to getting up during a formal dinner is for the hosts to serve sweets. Huh?! If you have a reputable etiquette citation for this, I'd love to read it and learn something new. Can you provide this? Even at a formal dinner, I've never heard of hosts getting up to serve sweets. They are certainly not going to do this at a wedding. That's the waitstaff's job. There is no etiquette reason for hosts not to do table visits if they wish.

To the bolded in the third paragraph: Yes - the hosts should ensure that people feel welcomed and provide a comfortable and hosted environment. But they are certainly not responsible for talking to every person who is sitting by themselves, dancing with anyone who is dancing alone, or monitoring every single conversation and ensuring that guests make friends. No. Just no. Times 100. When it comes to social interaction, the guests need to be presumed mature enough to take care of themselves-and making sure that guests don't get out of line is what security is for. Hosts who intervene in arguments could get hurt.

mysticl · October 2013

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

My comments are in italics and bold italics.

southernbelle0915 said:

AroundTheBlock said:

Standard etiquette requires that a hostess always greet her guests as they arrive at her party. A receiving line is the best way to greet all your guests at the door if you have more than a couple of dozen guests. Your ceremony isn't a party and you are not the hostess at the ceremony, so you do not greet as they arrive there. Common though it has become for brides to hold their receiving line at the church, that is still not in accordance with standard etiquette.
Standard etiquette also deprecates wandering around during a formal dinner. At the most formal dinners, diners are not supposed to get up from the table for any reason until the final course. There are some very specific exceptions to this rule and one of those exceptions is that the hosts may get up to serve the subtlety (that is, a ceremonial cake or other show-case dessert or sweet). That is the time when you would be doing your "table visits".
It isn't really an either/or. Greeting your guests on arrival is mandated by standard etiquette, whether you have a receiving line or just mill around making sure that you greet everyone. If you are the hosts, you remain responsible for everyone's comfort for the whole duration of the party, so you will need to continue to keep an eye on the room, notice the lonely or neglected guest and go over to introduce her to some more friends, circulating and keeping everyone feeling wanted and welcome, dancing with people who don't have partners, dropping a conciliatory word into conversations that are becoming heated, and distracting bores so that their victims can make a get-away. That should provide you with dozens of additional opportunities to have a word or two with everyone.

I understand what you're talking about in about 2% of your posts. They're so long, fractured and are often non-applicable to the OP's question. It's like you use someone's thread to try and create a novel about proper etiquette and it just comes off as babble that doesn't make sense.

To the bolded in the first paragraph: I've never in my life seen a receiving line prior to the ceremony. Has anyone else seen this? Not me. Every single receiving line I've ever seen is AFTER the ceremony to receive/thank the guests for attending and to bridge from ceremony to cocktail hour/reception. The time and place for a receiving line is at the start of the reception, as the guests arrive. That doesn't really work at a wedding reception because the guests normally arrive at the reception prior to the bride and groom. Hence the receiving line being held at the ceremony location as the guests are departing. The couple and family are supposed to arrive there first. That's part of why it's not appropriate to do a receiving line at the ceremony venue. The couple et al need to depart immediately after the ceremony to get to the reception venue so they can "receive" their guests. That's also a big part of the reason why gaps are not a good idea. But this is also why table visits are an acceptable alternative to receiving lines.

To the bolded in the second paragraph: Not all weddings are formal dinners and I have NEVER heard that the only exception to getting up during a formal dinner is for the hosts to serve sweets. Huh?! If you have a reputable etiquette citation for this, I'd love to read it and learn something new. Can you provide this? Even at a formal dinner, I've never heard of hosts getting up to serve sweets. They are certainly not going to do this at a wedding. That's the waitstaff's job. There is no etiquette reason for hosts not to do table visits if they wish.

To the bolded in the third paragraph: Yes - the hosts should ensure that people feel welcomed and provide a comfortable and hosted environment. But they are certainly not responsible for talking to every person who is sitting by themselves, dancing with anyone who is dancing alone, or monitoring every single conversation and ensuring that guests make friends. No. Just no. Times 100. When it comes to social interaction, the guests need to be presumed mature enough to take care of themselves-and making sure that guests don't get out of line is what security is for. Hosts who intervene in arguments could get hurt.

I have never,ever been to a wedding where the couple or their family got to the reception first. That is when photos are done and the guests go on to the reception and enjoy cocktail hour. Even when the ceremony and reception are in the same place the couple and the family don't get to the reception first because they are pulled away to take pictures and then make a grand entrance. As a guest I absolutely hate table visits. I'm trying to eat. I think it is rude of people to come up to me and try to talk to me when I'm trying to eat.

Jen4948 · October 2013

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

My comments are in italics and bold italics.

southernbelle0915 said:

AroundTheBlock said:

Standard etiquette requires that a hostess always greet her guests as they arrive at her party. A receiving line is the best way to greet all your guests at the door if you have more than a couple of dozen guests. Your ceremony isn't a party and you are not the hostess at the ceremony, so you do not greet as they arrive there. Common though it has become for brides to hold their receiving line at the church, that is still not in accordance with standard etiquette.
Standard etiquette also deprecates wandering around during a formal dinner. At the most formal dinners, diners are not supposed to get up from the table for any reason until the final course. There are some very specific exceptions to this rule and one of those exceptions is that the hosts may get up to serve the subtlety (that is, a ceremonial cake or other show-case dessert or sweet). That is the time when you would be doing your "table visits".
It isn't really an either/or. Greeting your guests on arrival is mandated by standard etiquette, whether you have a receiving line or just mill around making sure that you greet everyone. If you are the hosts, you remain responsible for everyone's comfort for the whole duration of the party, so you will need to continue to keep an eye on the room, notice the lonely or neglected guest and go over to introduce her to some more friends, circulating and keeping everyone feeling wanted and welcome, dancing with people who don't have partners, dropping a conciliatory word into conversations that are becoming heated, and distracting bores so that their victims can make a get-away. That should provide you with dozens of additional opportunities to have a word or two with everyone.

I understand what you're talking about in about 2% of your posts. They're so long, fractured and are often non-applicable to the OP's question. It's like you use someone's thread to try and create a novel about proper etiquette and it just comes off as babble that doesn't make sense.

To the bolded in the first paragraph: I've never in my life seen a receiving line prior to the ceremony. Has anyone else seen this? Not me. Every single receiving line I've ever seen is AFTER the ceremony to receive/thank the guests for attending and to bridge from ceremony to cocktail hour/reception. The time and place for a receiving line is at the start of the reception, as the guests arrive. That doesn't really work at a wedding reception because the guests normally arrive at the reception prior to the bride and groom. Hence the receiving line being held at the ceremony location as the guests are departing. The couple and family are supposed to arrive there first. That's part of why it's not appropriate to do a receiving line at the ceremony venue. The couple et al need to depart immediately after the ceremony to get to the reception venue so they can "receive" their guests. That's also a big part of the reason why gaps are not a good idea. But this is also why table visits are an acceptable alternative to receiving lines.

To the bolded in the second paragraph: Not all weddings are formal dinners and I have NEVER heard that the only exception to getting up during a formal dinner is for the hosts to serve sweets. Huh?! If you have a reputable etiquette citation for this, I'd love to read it and learn something new. Can you provide this? Even at a formal dinner, I've never heard of hosts getting up to serve sweets. They are certainly not going to do this at a wedding. That's the waitstaff's job. There is no etiquette reason for hosts not to do table visits if they wish.

To the bolded in the third paragraph: Yes - the hosts should ensure that people feel welcomed and provide a comfortable and hosted environment. But they are certainly not responsible for talking to every person who is sitting by themselves, dancing with anyone who is dancing alone, or monitoring every single conversation and ensuring that guests make friends. No. Just no. Times 100. When it comes to social interaction, the guests need to be presumed mature enough to take care of themselves-and making sure that guests don't get out of line is what security is for. Hosts who intervene in arguments could get hurt.

I have never,ever been to a wedding where the couple or their family got to the reception first. That is when photos are done and the guests go on to the reception and enjoy cocktail hour. Even when the ceremony and reception are in the same place the couple and the family don't get to the reception first because they are pulled away to take pictures and then make a grand entrance. As a guest I absolutely hate table visits. I'm trying to eat. I think it is rude of people to come up to me and try to talk to me when I'm trying to eat.

Whether you like or hate table visits, they are quite common, and at every wedding I've been to, the couple and their families get to the reception first, but if they do a receiving line at all, they take a little while to greet their guests before going off to photo shoots. The guests go immediately from the receiving line to the cocktail hour.

mysticl · October 2013

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

My comments are in italics and bold italics.

southernbelle0915 said:

AroundTheBlock said:

Standard etiquette requires that a hostess always greet her guests as they arrive at her party. A receiving line is the best way to greet all your guests at the door if you have more than a couple of dozen guests. Your ceremony isn't a party and you are not the hostess at the ceremony, so you do not greet as they arrive there. Common though it has become for brides to hold their receiving line at the church, that is still not in accordance with standard etiquette.
Standard etiquette also deprecates wandering around during a formal dinner. At the most formal dinners, diners are not supposed to get up from the table for any reason until the final course. There are some very specific exceptions to this rule and one of those exceptions is that the hosts may get up to serve the subtlety (that is, a ceremonial cake or other show-case dessert or sweet). That is the time when you would be doing your "table visits".
It isn't really an either/or. Greeting your guests on arrival is mandated by standard etiquette, whether you have a receiving line or just mill around making sure that you greet everyone. If you are the hosts, you remain responsible for everyone's comfort for the whole duration of the party, so you will need to continue to keep an eye on the room, notice the lonely or neglected guest and go over to introduce her to some more friends, circulating and keeping everyone feeling wanted and welcome, dancing with people who don't have partners, dropping a conciliatory word into conversations that are becoming heated, and distracting bores so that their victims can make a get-away. That should provide you with dozens of additional opportunities to have a word or two with everyone.

I understand what you're talking about in about 2% of your posts. They're so long, fractured and are often non-applicable to the OP's question. It's like you use someone's thread to try and create a novel about proper etiquette and it just comes off as babble that doesn't make sense.

To the bolded in the first paragraph: I've never in my life seen a receiving line prior to the ceremony. Has anyone else seen this? Not me. Every single receiving line I've ever seen is AFTER the ceremony to receive/thank the guests for attending and to bridge from ceremony to cocktail hour/reception. The time and place for a receiving line is at the start of the reception, as the guests arrive. That doesn't really work at a wedding reception because the guests normally arrive at the reception prior to the bride and groom. Hence the receiving line being held at the ceremony location as the guests are departing. The couple and family are supposed to arrive there first. That's part of why it's not appropriate to do a receiving line at the ceremony venue. The couple et al need to depart immediately after the ceremony to get to the reception venue so they can "receive" their guests. That's also a big part of the reason why gaps are not a good idea. But this is also why table visits are an acceptable alternative to receiving lines.

To the bolded in the second paragraph: Not all weddings are formal dinners and I have NEVER heard that the only exception to getting up during a formal dinner is for the hosts to serve sweets. Huh?! If you have a reputable etiquette citation for this, I'd love to read it and learn something new. Can you provide this? Even at a formal dinner, I've never heard of hosts getting up to serve sweets. They are certainly not going to do this at a wedding. That's the waitstaff's job. There is no etiquette reason for hosts not to do table visits if they wish.

To the bolded in the third paragraph: Yes - the hosts should ensure that people feel welcomed and provide a comfortable and hosted environment. But they are certainly not responsible for talking to every person who is sitting by themselves, dancing with anyone who is dancing alone, or monitoring every single conversation and ensuring that guests make friends. No. Just no. Times 100. When it comes to social interaction, the guests need to be presumed mature enough to take care of themselves-and making sure that guests don't get out of line is what security is for. Hosts who intervene in arguments could get hurt.

I have never,ever been to a wedding where the couple or their family got to the reception first. That is when photos are done and the guests go on to the reception and enjoy cocktail hour. Even when the ceremony and reception are in the same place the couple and the family don't get to the reception first because they are pulled away to take pictures and then make a grand entrance. As a guest I absolutely hate table visits. I'm trying to eat. I think it is rude of people to come up to me and try to talk to me when I'm trying to eat.

Whether you like or hate table visits, they are quite common, and at every wedding I've been to, the couple and their families get to the reception first, but if they do a receiving line at all, they take a little while to greet their guests before going off to photo shoots. The guests go immediately from the receiving line to the cocktail hour.

I know they are common, still hate them, still wish they'd let me eat in peace. If you get married in a church and have your reception elsewhere it is is a huge waste of time to rush to the reception site to greet people and then rush back to the church to take pictures. Let me guess you're going to tell me to take pictures at the church before the wedding. Well, some people still believe in the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding or at least not seeing her in the dress. Also the church I was married in did not permit pre-ceremony pictures. We could only enter the church 45 minutes before the service started. We had one hour for the service and then another 45 minutes for pictures and to get out.

Jen4948 · October 2013

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

My comments are in italics and bold italics.

southernbelle0915 said:

AroundTheBlock said:

Standard etiquette requires that a hostess always greet her guests as they arrive at her party. A receiving line is the best way to greet all your guests at the door if you have more than a couple of dozen guests. Your ceremony isn't a party and you are not the hostess at the ceremony, so you do not greet as they arrive there. Common though it has become for brides to hold their receiving line at the church, that is still not in accordance with standard etiquette.
Standard etiquette also deprecates wandering around during a formal dinner. At the most formal dinners, diners are not supposed to get up from the table for any reason until the final course. There are some very specific exceptions to this rule and one of those exceptions is that the hosts may get up to serve the subtlety (that is, a ceremonial cake or other show-case dessert or sweet). That is the time when you would be doing your "table visits".
It isn't really an either/or. Greeting your guests on arrival is mandated by standard etiquette, whether you have a receiving line or just mill around making sure that you greet everyone. If you are the hosts, you remain responsible for everyone's comfort for the whole duration of the party, so you will need to continue to keep an eye on the room, notice the lonely or neglected guest and go over to introduce her to some more friends, circulating and keeping everyone feeling wanted and welcome, dancing with people who don't have partners, dropping a conciliatory word into conversations that are becoming heated, and distracting bores so that their victims can make a get-away. That should provide you with dozens of additional opportunities to have a word or two with everyone.

I understand what you're talking about in about 2% of your posts. They're so long, fractured and are often non-applicable to the OP's question. It's like you use someone's thread to try and create a novel about proper etiquette and it just comes off as babble that doesn't make sense.

To the bolded in the first paragraph: I've never in my life seen a receiving line prior to the ceremony. Has anyone else seen this? Not me. Every single receiving line I've ever seen is AFTER the ceremony to receive/thank the guests for attending and to bridge from ceremony to cocktail hour/reception. The time and place for a receiving line is at the start of the reception, as the guests arrive. That doesn't really work at a wedding reception because the guests normally arrive at the reception prior to the bride and groom. Hence the receiving line being held at the ceremony location as the guests are departing. The couple and family are supposed to arrive there first. That's part of why it's not appropriate to do a receiving line at the ceremony venue. The couple et al need to depart immediately after the ceremony to get to the reception venue so they can "receive" their guests. That's also a big part of the reason why gaps are not a good idea. But this is also why table visits are an acceptable alternative to receiving lines.

To the bolded in the second paragraph: Not all weddings are formal dinners and I have NEVER heard that the only exception to getting up during a formal dinner is for the hosts to serve sweets. Huh?! If you have a reputable etiquette citation for this, I'd love to read it and learn something new. Can you provide this? Even at a formal dinner, I've never heard of hosts getting up to serve sweets. They are certainly not going to do this at a wedding. That's the waitstaff's job. There is no etiquette reason for hosts not to do table visits if they wish.

To the bolded in the third paragraph: Yes - the hosts should ensure that people feel welcomed and provide a comfortable and hosted environment. But they are certainly not responsible for talking to every person who is sitting by themselves, dancing with anyone who is dancing alone, or monitoring every single conversation and ensuring that guests make friends. No. Just no. Times 100. When it comes to social interaction, the guests need to be presumed mature enough to take care of themselves-and making sure that guests don't get out of line is what security is for. Hosts who intervene in arguments could get hurt.

I have never,ever been to a wedding where the couple or their family got to the reception first. That is when photos are done and the guests go on to the reception and enjoy cocktail hour. Even when the ceremony and reception are in the same place the couple and the family don't get to the reception first because they are pulled away to take pictures and then make a grand entrance. As a guest I absolutely hate table visits. I'm trying to eat. I think it is rude of people to come up to me and try to talk to me when I'm trying to eat.

Whether you like or hate table visits, they are quite common, and at every wedding I've been to, the couple and their families get to the reception first, but if they do a receiving line at all, they take a little while to greet their guests before going off to photo shoots. The guests go immediately from the receiving line to the cocktail hour.

I know they are common, still hate them, still wish they'd let me eat in peace. If you get married in a church and have your reception elsewhere it is is a huge waste of time to rush to the reception site to greet people and then rush back to the church to take pictures. Let me guess you're going to tell me to take pictures at the church before the wedding. Well, some people still believe in the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding or at least not seeing her in the dress. Also the church I was married in did not permit pre-ceremony pictures. We could only enter the church 45 minutes before the service started. We had one hour for the service and then another 45 minutes for pictures and to get out.

Sarcasm not required.

I was not going to suggest that all the pictures be taken before the ceremony, but I would suggest taking all the photos possible before the wedding with the exception of those that would include both the couple. They don't all have to be taken at the church or the venue. But whatever anyone does, good planning that doesn't keep people waiting for a really prolonged period of time for the couple to show up because they postponed photos due to this belief is necessary-and that could even involve finding another location to hold the ceremony if the venue is unreasonably strict.

mysticl · October 2013

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

My comments are in italics and bold italics.

southernbelle0915 said:

AroundTheBlock said:

Standard etiquette requires that a hostess always greet her guests as they arrive at her party. A receiving line is the best way to greet all your guests at the door if you have more than a couple of dozen guests. Your ceremony isn't a party and you are not the hostess at the ceremony, so you do not greet as they arrive there. Common though it has become for brides to hold their receiving line at the church, that is still not in accordance with standard etiquette.
Standard etiquette also deprecates wandering around during a formal dinner. At the most formal dinners, diners are not supposed to get up from the table for any reason until the final course. There are some very specific exceptions to this rule and one of those exceptions is that the hosts may get up to serve the subtlety (that is, a ceremonial cake or other show-case dessert or sweet). That is the time when you would be doing your "table visits".
It isn't really an either/or. Greeting your guests on arrival is mandated by standard etiquette, whether you have a receiving line or just mill around making sure that you greet everyone. If you are the hosts, you remain responsible for everyone's comfort for the whole duration of the party, so you will need to continue to keep an eye on the room, notice the lonely or neglected guest and go over to introduce her to some more friends, circulating and keeping everyone feeling wanted and welcome, dancing with people who don't have partners, dropping a conciliatory word into conversations that are becoming heated, and distracting bores so that their victims can make a get-away. That should provide you with dozens of additional opportunities to have a word or two with everyone.

I understand what you're talking about in about 2% of your posts. They're so long, fractured and are often non-applicable to the OP's question. It's like you use someone's thread to try and create a novel about proper etiquette and it just comes off as babble that doesn't make sense.

To the bolded in the first paragraph: I've never in my life seen a receiving line prior to the ceremony. Has anyone else seen this? Not me. Every single receiving line I've ever seen is AFTER the ceremony to receive/thank the guests for attending and to bridge from ceremony to cocktail hour/reception. The time and place for a receiving line is at the start of the reception, as the guests arrive. That doesn't really work at a wedding reception because the guests normally arrive at the reception prior to the bride and groom. Hence the receiving line being held at the ceremony location as the guests are departing. The couple and family are supposed to arrive there first. That's part of why it's not appropriate to do a receiving line at the ceremony venue. The couple et al need to depart immediately after the ceremony to get to the reception venue so they can "receive" their guests. That's also a big part of the reason why gaps are not a good idea. But this is also why table visits are an acceptable alternative to receiving lines.

To the bolded in the second paragraph: Not all weddings are formal dinners and I have NEVER heard that the only exception to getting up during a formal dinner is for the hosts to serve sweets. Huh?! If you have a reputable etiquette citation for this, I'd love to read it and learn something new. Can you provide this? Even at a formal dinner, I've never heard of hosts getting up to serve sweets. They are certainly not going to do this at a wedding. That's the waitstaff's job. There is no etiquette reason for hosts not to do table visits if they wish.

To the bolded in the third paragraph: Yes - the hosts should ensure that people feel welcomed and provide a comfortable and hosted environment. But they are certainly not responsible for talking to every person who is sitting by themselves, dancing with anyone who is dancing alone, or monitoring every single conversation and ensuring that guests make friends. No. Just no. Times 100. When it comes to social interaction, the guests need to be presumed mature enough to take care of themselves-and making sure that guests don't get out of line is what security is for. Hosts who intervene in arguments could get hurt.

I have never,ever been to a wedding where the couple or their family got to the reception first. That is when photos are done and the guests go on to the reception and enjoy cocktail hour. Even when the ceremony and reception are in the same place the couple and the family don't get to the reception first because they are pulled away to take pictures and then make a grand entrance. As a guest I absolutely hate table visits. I'm trying to eat. I think it is rude of people to come up to me and try to talk to me when I'm trying to eat.

Whether you like or hate table visits, they are quite common, and at every wedding I've been to, the couple and their families get to the reception first, but if they do a receiving line at all, they take a little while to greet their guests before going off to photo shoots. The guests go immediately from the receiving line to the cocktail hour.

I know they are common, still hate them, still wish they'd let me eat in peace. If you get married in a church and have your reception elsewhere it is is a huge waste of time to rush to the reception site to greet people and then rush back to the church to take pictures. Let me guess you're going to tell me to take pictures at the church before the wedding. Well, some people still believe in the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding or at least not seeing her in the dress. Also the church I was married in did not permit pre-ceremony pictures. We could only enter the church 45 minutes before the service started. We had one hour for the service and then another 45 minutes for pictures and to get out.

Sarcasm not required.

I was not going to suggest that all the pictures be taken before the ceremony, but I would suggest taking all the photos possible before the wedding with the exception of those that would include both the couple. They don't all have to be taken at the church or the venue. But whatever anyone does, good planning that doesn't keep people waiting for a really prolonged period of time for the couple to show up because they postponed photos due to this belief is necessary-and that could even involve finding another location to hold the ceremony if the venue is unreasonably strict.

That wasn't sarcasm.

We didn't keep people waiting for a prolonged period of time. People left our wedding and went straight to the reception venue. While it was not technically time for them to be in there, the doors were open, everything was set up, and the food was out. If this hadn't been the case we would have paid for an additional half hour of the time at the start of our reception. We arrived partway through cocktail hour. Everyone was very shocked at how early we had arrived. In fact our DJ told us that it wasn't time for cocktail hour to end. I told him I knew but we were still entering our cocktail hour.

Having a receiving line at the ceremony does not mean that you are then going leave your guests sitting at the reception venue for hours and hours.

Jen4948 · October 2013

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

My comments are in italics and bold italics.

southernbelle0915 said:

AroundTheBlock said:

Standard etiquette requires that a hostess always greet her guests as they arrive at her party. A receiving line is the best way to greet all your guests at the door if you have more than a couple of dozen guests. Your ceremony isn't a party and you are not the hostess at the ceremony, so you do not greet as they arrive there. Common though it has become for brides to hold their receiving line at the church, that is still not in accordance with standard etiquette.
Standard etiquette also deprecates wandering around during a formal dinner. At the most formal dinners, diners are not supposed to get up from the table for any reason until the final course. There are some very specific exceptions to this rule and one of those exceptions is that the hosts may get up to serve the subtlety (that is, a ceremonial cake or other show-case dessert or sweet). That is the time when you would be doing your "table visits".
It isn't really an either/or. Greeting your guests on arrival is mandated by standard etiquette, whether you have a receiving line or just mill around making sure that you greet everyone. If you are the hosts, you remain responsible for everyone's comfort for the whole duration of the party, so you will need to continue to keep an eye on the room, notice the lonely or neglected guest and go over to introduce her to some more friends, circulating and keeping everyone feeling wanted and welcome, dancing with people who don't have partners, dropping a conciliatory word into conversations that are becoming heated, and distracting bores so that their victims can make a get-away. That should provide you with dozens of additional opportunities to have a word or two with everyone.

I understand what you're talking about in about 2% of your posts. They're so long, fractured and are often non-applicable to the OP's question. It's like you use someone's thread to try and create a novel about proper etiquette and it just comes off as babble that doesn't make sense.

To the bolded in the first paragraph: I've never in my life seen a receiving line prior to the ceremony. Has anyone else seen this? Not me. Every single receiving line I've ever seen is AFTER the ceremony to receive/thank the guests for attending and to bridge from ceremony to cocktail hour/reception. The time and place for a receiving line is at the start of the reception, as the guests arrive. That doesn't really work at a wedding reception because the guests normally arrive at the reception prior to the bride and groom. Hence the receiving line being held at the ceremony location as the guests are departing. The couple and family are supposed to arrive there first. That's part of why it's not appropriate to do a receiving line at the ceremony venue. The couple et al need to depart immediately after the ceremony to get to the reception venue so they can "receive" their guests. That's also a big part of the reason why gaps are not a good idea. But this is also why table visits are an acceptable alternative to receiving lines.

To the bolded in the second paragraph: Not all weddings are formal dinners and I have NEVER heard that the only exception to getting up during a formal dinner is for the hosts to serve sweets. Huh?! If you have a reputable etiquette citation for this, I'd love to read it and learn something new. Can you provide this? Even at a formal dinner, I've never heard of hosts getting up to serve sweets. They are certainly not going to do this at a wedding. That's the waitstaff's job. There is no etiquette reason for hosts not to do table visits if they wish.

To the bolded in the third paragraph: Yes - the hosts should ensure that people feel welcomed and provide a comfortable and hosted environment. But they are certainly not responsible for talking to every person who is sitting by themselves, dancing with anyone who is dancing alone, or monitoring every single conversation and ensuring that guests make friends. No. Just no. Times 100. When it comes to social interaction, the guests need to be presumed mature enough to take care of themselves-and making sure that guests don't get out of line is what security is for. Hosts who intervene in arguments could get hurt.

I have never,ever been to a wedding where the couple or their family got to the reception first. That is when photos are done and the guests go on to the reception and enjoy cocktail hour. Even when the ceremony and reception are in the same place the couple and the family don't get to the reception first because they are pulled away to take pictures and then make a grand entrance. As a guest I absolutely hate table visits. I'm trying to eat. I think it is rude of people to come up to me and try to talk to me when I'm trying to eat.

Whether you like or hate table visits, they are quite common, and at every wedding I've been to, the couple and their families get to the reception first, but if they do a receiving line at all, they take a little while to greet their guests before going off to photo shoots. The guests go immediately from the receiving line to the cocktail hour.

I know they are common, still hate them, still wish they'd let me eat in peace. If you get married in a church and have your reception elsewhere it is is a huge waste of time to rush to the reception site to greet people and then rush back to the church to take pictures. Let me guess you're going to tell me to take pictures at the church before the wedding. Well, some people still believe in the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding or at least not seeing her in the dress. Also the church I was married in did not permit pre-ceremony pictures. We could only enter the church 45 minutes before the service started. We had one hour for the service and then another 45 minutes for pictures and to get out.

Sarcasm not required.

I was not going to suggest that all the pictures be taken before the ceremony, but I would suggest taking all the photos possible before the wedding with the exception of those that would include both the couple. They don't all have to be taken at the church or the venue. But whatever anyone does, good planning that doesn't keep people waiting for a really prolonged period of time for the couple to show up because they postponed photos due to this belief is necessary-and that could even involve finding another location to hold the ceremony if the venue is unreasonably strict.

That wasn't sarcasm.

We didn't keep people waiting for a prolonged period of time. People left our wedding and went straight to the reception venue. While it was not technically time for them to be in there, the doors were open, everything was set up, and the food was out. If this hadn't been the case we would have paid for an additional half hour of the time at the start of our reception. We arrived partway through cocktail hour. Everyone was very shocked at how early we had arrived. In fact our DJ told us that it wasn't time for cocktail hour to end. I told him I knew but we were still entering our cocktail hour.

Having a receiving line at the ceremony does not mean that you are then going leave your guests sitting at the reception venue for hours and hours.

It kind of depends on how long the receiving line is. It also depends on how long the photo shoot is.

The point is, it's possible to start the receiving line and the cocktail hour at the same time at the reception venue-and that's really what couples who are doing receiving lines should do. As soon as each guest gets through the line, s/he can then go have a drink and apps. And if the majority of the photos have been taken before the ceremony, the couple and their families and wedding party members can then go take the last remaining photos once all the guests have gone through the receiving line.

PrettyGirlLost · October 2013

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

That wasn't sarcasm.

We didn't keep people waiting for a prolonged period of time. People left our wedding and went straight to the reception venue. While it was not technically time for them to be in there, the doors were open, everything was set up, and the food was out. If this hadn't been the case we would have paid for an additional half hour of the time at the start of our reception. We arrived partway through cocktail hour. Everyone was very shocked at how early we had arrived. In fact our DJ told us that it wasn't time for cocktail hour to end. I told him I knew but we were still entering our cocktail hour.

Having a receiving line at the ceremony does not mean that you are then going leave your guests sitting at the reception venue for hours and hours.

It kind of depends on how long the receiving line is. It also depends on how long the photo shoot is.

The point is, it's possible to start the receiving line and the cocktail hour at the same time at the reception venue-and that's really what couples who are doing receiving lines should do. As soon as each guest gets through the line, s/he can then go have a drink and apps. And if the majority of the photos have been taken before the ceremony, the couple and their families and wedding party members can then go take the last remaining photos once all the guests have gone through the receiving line.

I think Jen and ATB run in the same social circle. . . I have never, ever, in all of my life attended or heard of a Bride and Groom getting to a reception before the guests and doing a receiving line there. No matter if they did pictures and a 1st look prior to their ceremony.

I get the idea behind receiving guests at the reception, but in practice it just doesn't happen.

Jen4948 · October 2013

PrettyGirlLost said:

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

That wasn't sarcasm.

We didn't keep people waiting for a prolonged period of time. People left our wedding and went straight to the reception venue. While it was not technically time for them to be in there, the doors were open, everything was set up, and the food was out. If this hadn't been the case we would have paid for an additional half hour of the time at the start of our reception. We arrived partway through cocktail hour. Everyone was very shocked at how early we had arrived. In fact our DJ told us that it wasn't time for cocktail hour to end. I told him I knew but we were still entering our cocktail hour.

Having a receiving line at the ceremony does not mean that you are then going leave your guests sitting at the reception venue for hours and hours.

It kind of depends on how long the receiving line is. It also depends on how long the photo shoot is.

The point is, it's possible to start the receiving line and the cocktail hour at the same time at the reception venue-and that's really what couples who are doing receiving lines should do. As soon as each guest gets through the line, s/he can then go have a drink and apps. And if the majority of the photos have been taken before the ceremony, the couple and their families and wedding party members can then go take the last remaining photos once all the guests have gone through the receiving line.

I think Jen and ATB run in the same social circle. . . I have never, ever, in all of my life attended or heard of a Bride and Groom getting to a reception before the guests and doing a receiving line there. No matter if they did pictures and a 1st look prior to their ceremony.

I get the idea behind receiving guests at the reception, but in practice it just doesn't happen.

Don't associate me with ATB. I have nothing to do with her and don't generally agree with her.

JoanE2012 · October 2013

PrettyGirlLost said:

Jen4948 said:

mysticl said:

That wasn't sarcasm.

We didn't keep people waiting for a prolonged period of time. People left our wedding and went straight to the reception venue. While it was not technically time for them to be in there, the doors were open, everything was set up, and the food was out. If this hadn't been the case we would have paid for an additional half hour of the time at the start of our reception. We arrived partway through cocktail hour. Everyone was very shocked at how early we had arrived. In fact our DJ told us that it wasn't time for cocktail hour to end. I told him I knew but we were still entering our cocktail hour.

Having a receiving line at the ceremony does not mean that you are then going leave your guests sitting at the reception venue for hours and hours.

It kind of depends on how long the receiving line is. It also depends on how long the photo shoot is.

The point is, it's possible to start the receiving line and the cocktail hour at the same time at the reception venue-and that's really what couples who are doing receiving lines should do. As soon as each guest gets through the line, s/he can then go have a drink and apps. And if the majority of the photos have been taken before the ceremony, the couple and their families and wedding party members can then go take the last remaining photos once all the guests have gone through the receiving line.

I think Jen and ATB run in the same social circle. . . I have never, ever, in all of my life attended or heard of a Bride and Groom getting to a reception before the guests and doing a receiving line there. No matter if they did pictures and a 1st look prior to their ceremony.

I get the idea behind receiving guests at the reception, but in practice it just doesn't happen.

Ditto. All I've ever seen is a receiving line when guests exit the church (and then they head over to the cocktail hour after) or table visits.

Receiving line

Re: Receiving line

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