Mismatched Bridesmaids...

Rebl90 · October 2013

Okay Ladies, I need some honest input. I am in the early stages of planning and scoping out BM dresses. I am going to talk to each of my girls about their budgets before I consider anything seriously, but I know for a fact that 2 will be very limited already. I have found a few images of mismatched dresses for the bridal party and I absolutely love it. I'm not a huge fan of asking someone to buy a dress that they may only wear once, so I thought about having them each pick a dress in a similar style/length in navy blue. What do you all think, yay or nay?

*Same question applies for shoes and jewelry, is it okay to just ask them to find a nude shoe they are comfortable in and accessorize how they prefer? I am a BM in a wedding the month before mine and the bride is telling us all to wear specific shoes (that are uncomfortable), jewelry, and belts for the dresses that she hadn't mentioned previously or are within the budgets we gave her, so I'm frustrated from that situation and want to avoid alienating my girls by doing the same.

Thanks!

mlg78 · October 2013

Navy can be a tricky color with shades. Do you want to select a designer and a color? I told all of my girls, "short, David's Bridal, lapis color, silver shoes and wear your own jewelry' and they all looked wonderful.

artbyallie · October 2013

I disagree; navy is easy. Of course, my bridesmaids wore 5 different shads of blue so I may be a bit more laidback than most about color matching. Most blues looking good together, after all.

southernbelle0915 · October 2013

Rebl90 said:

Okay Ladies, I need some honest input. I am in the early stages of planning and scoping out BM dresses. I am going to talk to each of my girls about their budgets before I consider anything seriously, but I know for a fact that 2 will be very limited already. I have found a few images of mismatched dresses for the bridal party and I absolutely love it. I'm not a huge fan of asking someone to buy a dress that they may only wear once, so I thought about having them each pick a dress in a similar style/length in navy blue. What do you all think, yay or nay? Yay!

*Same question applies for shoes and jewelry, is it okay to just ask them to find a nude shoe they are comfortable in and accessorize how they prefer? I am a BM in a wedding the month before mine and the bride is telling us all to wear specific shoes (that are uncomfortable), jewelry, and belts for the dresses that she hadn't mentioned previously or are within the budgets we gave her, so I'm frustrated from that situation and want to avoid alienating my girls by doing the same.

Thanks!

I like it when brides let their WP pick their own dresses. You'll have the peace of mind that they made their own decisions on what they liked and what they could afford. Also, it adds so much visual interest and lets the WP look more like individuals than props. Go you!

Yes, you can let them know that you want nude shoes and they can choose whatever. You can also say "wear whatever jewelry you want, or none at all." Both of these are really how it's supposed to be with BMs. If you specify a specific shoe or piece of jewelry (or anything outside the dress), you're supposed to pay for it.

My BMs wore navy dresses. I picked a designer (Ann Taylor), a fabric (silk georgette), a length (knee) and a color (navy) and let them choose whatever they wanted. You could do this with a less expensive designer if you want them to look a little more coordinated. Like David's Bridal.

dramamonkey · October 2013

I tried to do the same color & length & material via David's Bridal....

My bridesmaids ultimately decided on the same dress.

Xstatic3333 · October 2013

artbyallie said:
I disagree; navy is easy. Of course, my bridesmaids wore 5 different shads of blue so I may be a bit more laidback than most about color matching. Most blues looking good together, after all.

This! Mine had many shades of blue and it looked gorgeous! OP, I think your plan sounds great. For shoe color, I asked around and most of the girls suggested silver, so we went with that. They all appreciated choosing their own dress and shoes and have thanked me for it multiple times. I did pick a designer, but made sure it had in-budget options for everyone first.

KeptInStitches · October 2013

I'd love to be your BM! Navy dress, nude shoes, jewelry as you want - so easy to make happen.

misssunshine17 · October 2013

KeptInStitches said:

I'd love to be your BM! Navy dress, nude shoes, jewelry as you want - so easy to make happen.

Then you love me

since this is exactly what I did. The navys don't need to match perfectly. I can just about promise no one will wear a DB dress again- they scream bridesmaid. Let them have free reign and they will love you for it. One of my BMs spend $180 and one spend $7 for their dresses. Everyone is happy and can't be mad at me for making them spend anything.

You sound very nice to your BMs!

KeptInStitches · October 2013

I do love you, @misssunshine17!

[Deleted User] · October 2013

I did exactley what you are thinking of doing. I told my girls what length & color and told them they could pick out whatever dress they wanted (we went to DB which had a nice price range). Their dress color was a dark brown so I told them I was ok with black shoes (full length dress so it wouldn't really matter) figuring most women have a pair of comfortable dress black shoes. They wanted brown, so I went with it but then they all ended up with metallic shoes (easier to find). They all loved their shoe choices and ironcially they all feel in love with the same dress. But they were excited when I told them the dresses don't have to match in style, just color & length.

PrettyGirlLost · October 2013

This sounds very nice :-)

Rebl90 · October 2013

Oh my goodness you gals gave me such great peace of mind! Thank you for all the feedback, I appreciate it so much!

mysticl · October 2013

I picked out a dress for my MOH to try on. She liked it, it was the cheapest dress in the store, she bought it. Then I sent my 2 nieces a couple of links for dresses in the same color. They looked at them and then sent me a few links back. We agreed on one of the dresses the had picked out. I asked everyone to wear silver shoes. My nieces opted to buy the same pair of shoes. They also tried to convince their moms they needed a bunch of other stuff. As for jewelry everyone wore whatever they wanted.

SP29 · October 2013

Yay!

This is what I'm doing. David's, "short" length, navy (marine) dress- they get to pick the style they want. Shoes and jewelry are what they want as well.

Rebl90 · October 2013

I love all the positive feedback, you all are so helpful! I'm glad to hear it's worked out for you gals as well!

WildMagelet · October 2013

I'm doing the same thing. Mismatched dresses are cute and I love the idea of them buying something that they want to buy and would be rewearable. I plan on picking color and possibly designer and have them picking out the style and accessorizing with a neutral. (Current plan is shades of teal + black). Amusingly enough, one of my BMs was actually in a wedding a few weeks ago where the bride picked one of the same colors, so she could totally wear the same dress if she chose to. Alternatively, if one of them absolutely didn't want to wear a dress in the color I picked, I wouldn't be opposed to her switching it up and wearing the neutral as the dress color and accessorizing in the color I picked. Our local tux shop has plenty of colors if FI decides to have his GMs match with the mis-matched teals.

wishin4ring · October 2013

It's your wedding, you can do whatever you want. I personally like the David's Bridal - all same color but different dresses - idea, mostly because then you have all of them exactly the same color. But, if you don't mind if they're slightly mismatched - then it's not a problem. One wedding I was supposed to be in, and the wedding I will be in, both did the same thing for shoes - silver shoes.. doesn't matter what they look like.

Also, generally any wedding that I have ever been in, and the one I'm in now, the Bride has given the bridesmaids jewelry as their bridal party gift to wear for the wedding.

TeddiD34 · October 2013

wishin4ring said:

It's your wedding, you can do whatever you want. I personally like the David's Bridal - all same color but different dresses - idea, mostly because then you have all of them exactly the same color. But, if you don't mind if they're slightly mismatched - then it's not a problem. One wedding I was supposed to be in, and the wedding I will be in, both did the same thing for shoes - silver shoes.. doesn't matter what they look like.

Also, generally any wedding that I have ever been in, and the one I'm in now, the Bride has given the bridesmaids jewelry as their bridal party gift to wear for the wedding.

This really isn't a gift if you MUST wear it for the wedding. I just wanted to point this out, in case any other brides were considering this for their own wedding.

ei34 · October 2013

When I got married, I asked my two sisters (co-MOHs) and good friend (bridesmaid) to buy any dress they liked in any shade of purple, and to accessorize in any way they liked, wearing whatever shoes they wanted. They have three different body types, not to mention three different budgets, and I couldn't have fathomed making three of the people I'm closest to be uncomfortable in a dress they hadn't picked themselves. (Nor could I have imagined making three independent, professional women in their 20's wear matching dresses.) That being said, I absolutely think you're on the right track, asking them to pick a dress in navy, and specifying a shoe color but not an actual shoe. That's absolutely the right way to go, and very considerate of you. Good luck with all your planning in the months ahead!

maryemoo · October 2013

I'm doing this same thing; I have differently shaped BMS/MOH. Since our colors are pink and blue, our wedding party will be in fading shades of those colors...MOH/Best man in the darkest and going down from there...the only thing I have specified to each girl is the color and the length and that they please run the style by me first before purchasing, in case it is inappropriate. I think it's a nice solution to forcing them to have a dress that may not flatter them and that they might not wear.

hheartsc22 · October 2013

I'm going mismatched too. My friends and I made a fun shopping day out of it. They all picked the long expresso dress of their choosing. I'm letting them wear what ever gold shoe they want.

cjdoster16 · October 2013

I'm going mismatched as well with the "DB, harvest blue, black shoes, knee-length" route. I went to an Orthodox Jewish wedding recently where ALL the women (sisters, cousins, aunts, etc.) are basically bridesmaids, so they all wore gold. Each dress was different and had its own character and everything looked beautiful and awesome.

Bubblegum5586 · October 2013

dramamonkey said:

I tried to do the same color & length & material via David's Bridal....

My bridesmaids ultimately decided on the same dress.

This almost happened to me, they all did like 1 dress but they liked the idea of different dresses so they all picked another dress they liked! I honestly didn't care either way! My rules were DB Horizon, short and satin. Every girl looked amazing in the dress they chose and one of BM wore hers again only 2 weeks later to another wedding as a guest!

My pictures are not loading currently... but here is a link to my video where you can see the different dresses of the bridesmaids!

https://player.vimeo.com/video/77356522

katieg520 · October 2013

awwww @bubblegum1309 your video is AWESOME

Alikat9614 · October 2013

I'm debating if I should do DB color/length or color/length/material. I plan on going with horizon and short, but I'm not sure if I should specify a material. Thoughts? There will be three BM total. There also are some Ann Taylor jersey dresses in sapphire that I like as well. Thanks!

KeptInStitches · October 2013

Depends on the budgets of your BMs. I think generally thought DB will be more budget-friendly, which is an important consideration. Also, different materials will look different colors, even if they're all horizon.

Bubblegum5586 · October 2013

Aschondel84 I did DB Horizon and short and had all 6 girls in satin. There were 10 different dresses that fell into that category so everyone was able to pick a dress they loved with out getting "the leftover one".My video is a few posts up so you can see the girls, I got so many compliments on how beautiful everyone looked and how gorgeous the blue was!

Rebl90 · October 2013

Thanks for all the input! My FI is really nervous about it looking to mismatched, so I'm going to stick with DB since I have gals scattered across the country, and just ask for a specific length and fabric in the color I choose

manateehugger · October 2013

It won't look "mismatched" - especially if it's the same color, fabric, and length! Think about it - what are the odds another women will show up in chiffon lilac cocktail dress? People will still know they are the bridesmaids. Tell FI to chill! The different dresses look is very popular these days anyway.

Rebl90 · October 2013

Maybe I didn't clarify @PDKH, he is good with the David's Bridal plan, he wasn't on board with me allowing them to choose their own navy blue dress from any store their heart desired (my original plan). Since its his day as much as it is mine, and since all of my gals have given me price points that match David's Bridal, I decided to go with more coordinating dresses

Alikat9614 · October 2013

Thanks! I'm trying to keep the dresses around $100. DB has quite a few $99 short, satin, horizon dresses and Ann Taylor offers 40% off frequently, making the $150 jersey dresses $90. So much to think about! Time for some more BM input! :-)

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