MIL trouble

Re: MIL trouble

• NYCMercedes member

  

  October 2013 edited October 2013

  bahyatt323 said:

  My fiancé has two younger sisters, ages 17 and 10.  I did not ask them to be bridesmaids, because I thought that they would be better fit to be involved in the wedding doing something else.  His mother is very upset with me, and doesn't seem willing to sacrifice unless they are bridesmaids.  I picked my best friends and my sister to be in the wedding party, simply because they are old enough and responsible enough to plan things and help celebrate.  Is it wrong that I did not ask his sisters to be bridesmaids?

  
  First, you choose your own WP. Your FI should talk to HIS mom to tell her that the B&G pick their own WP. He may choose to have them stand up for him. Or, it could be that you want two people only. You will compromise so many times for family harmony when planning your wedding, but this is one place you shouldn't have to compromise. Second, why would his mom need to sacrifice anything anyway? What are you referring to? Third, there is nothing that a WP needs to PLAN so get that out of your brain. Their only responsibility is to show up in the dress.

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• artbyallie mod

  

  October 2013

  Your bridesmaids don't have to plan anything they don't choose to. And I'm curious to know what this 'something else' is that you intend for his sisters to do. If it is anything that will make them feel inferior to your bridesmaids, you should really rethink. And wow, I hope that 17-year-old never finds out you think she's not 'old enough' to be a bridesmaid. That'll make an enemy of your new SIL in a hurry.

  

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• CLI242009 member

  

  October 2013 edited October 2013

  bahyatt323 said:

  My fiancé has two younger sisters, ages 17 and 10.  I did not ask them to be bridesmaids, because I thought that they would be better fit to be involved in the wedding doing something else. Please make sure to ask if they would like to help before you say what this "something else" is. I do agree with artbyallie, do not make it something where you might make them feel inferior. They already KNOW they're the younger siblings. Rubbing it in their face, even if you don't mean to, will not start off your relationship very well.  His mother is very upset with me, and doesn't seem willing to sacrifice unless they are bridesmaids. What do you mean sacrifice? She shouldn't have to sacrifice anything. If she can help, she'll offer, if she doesn't want to no matter the reasons, petty reasons or not, she doesn't have to. If it's more like they need to be in the BP or I won't help, then you don't give in to childish behavior.  I picked my best friends and my sister to be in the wedding party, There is nothing wrong with that. simply because they are old enough and responsible enough to plan things and help celebrate. I took responsible enough as if you asked (not do) your BM and MoH to do something you know they would carry it out. Or understand that it was something important. Not something that you can just "do later". I completely understand this.  Is it wrong that I did not ask his sisters to be bridesmaids? I don't think there is anything wrong with it. You choose your BP, no one else does. 

  
  

  Sorry for some odd reason it won't keep my first answer/comment in bold so I had to italicize it instead >.> 

  
  

  

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