Got STD, no invitation, after the wedding the groom said he wished we could have made it

Re: Got STD, no invitation, after the wedding the groom said he wished we could have made it

• melbelleup member

  

  October 2013

  Hmmmm....... Just say I wish we could of as well. LOL that's weird. Who knows, maybe the invite got lost in the mail and they didn't call people who didn't RSVP or maybe they thought you said you couldn't attend when you got the STD. Never the less, they were in the wrong for not sending you an invite or calling you for RSVP.
  

  

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• tmclawchick member

  

  October 2013

  Disclaimer: I don't know if my response is etiquette-friendly.... but I'd probably just be honest and tell him that you would have loved to attend but you never received an invitation. It wasn't your responsibility to ask them if you were still invited; it was their responsibility to make sure you got the invitation in the first place! Sorry you're going through that though, how awkward!

   

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  October 2013

  That's weird. Because if they had followed up on RSVPs, they would have seen that you were missing and called you up to see if you were coming. So either you weren't on the invite list, they didn't follow up on RSVPs, or they just had a crappy system and your name fell off the radar somehow. Either way, they screwed up. 

  
  

  I would let them know you were also disappointed, but you didn't receive an invitation, so you weren't sure if you were still invited and/or when/where the festivities were taking place.

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• s-aries8990 member

  

  October 2013

  tmclawchick said:

  Disclaimer: I don't know if my response is etiquette-friendly.... but I'd probably just be honest and tell him that you would have loved to attend but you never received an invitation. It wasn't your responsibility to ask them if you were still invited; it was their responsibility to make sure you got the invitation in the first place! Sorry you're going through that though, how awkward!

  This exactly.
  

   

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• climbingsingle member

  

  October 2013

  s-aries8990 said:

  tmclawchick said:

  Disclaimer: I don't know if my response is etiquette-friendly.... but I'd probably just be honest and tell him that you would have loved to attend but you never received an invitation. It wasn't your responsibility to ask them if you were still invited; it was their responsibility to make sure you got the invitation in the first place! Sorry you're going through that though, how awkward!

  This exactly.
  

  I would definitely have to do this. 

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• dramamonkey member

  

  October 2013

  Wow. That's all on them... I was freaking out that people didn't get my invites A MONTH before my RSVP deadline... 

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• Jen4948 member

  

  October 2013

  Maybe they did invite you and the invitation got lost in the mail?
  

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• dramamonkey member

  

  October 2013

  Jen4948 said:

  Maybe they did invite you and the invitation got lost in the mail?
  

  I think that's totally possible, but why did they not CALL/email/carrier pigeon the OP to find out if they were coming to the wedding or not? 

  
  

  My dad invited one of his cousins (whom he hasn't seen in YEARS) - no one has a number for this person, and they're not even sure if it was the right address (which I didn't know or I would have left him off of the guest list). This is the only person I'm assuming is NOT coming to my wedding. Everyone else I've followed up with (or asked my parents or FI's parents to do so). 

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• tmclawchick member

  

  October 2013

  Even if it got lost in the mail, I would like to think they would have followed up via phone after seeing you hadn't responded by the RSVP date. I'm sure it was inadvertent (and awfully embarassing on their part) though.

   

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• Jen4948 member

  

  October 2013

  dramamonkey said:

  Jen4948 said:

  Maybe they did invite you and the invitation got lost in the mail?
  

  I think that's totally possible, but why did they not CALL/email/carrier pigeon the OP to find out if they were coming to the wedding or not? 

  
  

  My dad invited one of his cousins (whom he hasn't seen in YEARS) - no one has a number for this person, and they're not even sure if it was the right address (which I didn't know or I would have left him off of the guest list). This is the only person I'm assuming is NOT coming to my wedding. Everyone else I've followed up with (or asked my parents or FI's parents to do so). 

  Yeah, that's odd.  Even so, somehow he may have gotten his wires crossed and thought you did RSVP for some reason.
  

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• lauralee1723 member

  

  October 2013

  ClimbingBrideNY said:

  s-aries8990 said:

  tmclawchick said:

  Disclaimer: I don't know if my response is etiquette-friendly.... but I'd probably just be honest and tell him that you would have loved to attend but you never received an invitation. It wasn't your responsibility to ask them if you were still invited; it was their responsibility to make sure you got the invitation in the first place! Sorry you're going through that though, how awkward!

  This exactly.
  

  I would definitely have to do this. 

  
  +1

  

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• WinstonsGirl member

  

  October 2013

  And come back and tell us if you were actually invited or not

  
  

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• phira member

  

  October 2013

  It sounds like either 1) the couple thought that the save-the-date would count as an invitation, or (more likely) 2) the invitation got lost in the mail and the couple didn't think to follow up. Either way, no faux pas on your part, but definitely one on theirs.

  
  I would be honest and just say (KINDLY) that you never received an invitation.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• huskypuppy14 member

  

  October 2013

  I wonder if the bride or groom accidentally marked them off as responding, so it was just an honest mistake.  Mistakes happen, I would mention that you never received an invitation.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• Vivandiere8 member

  

  October 2013

  If it were my wedding I would want people to tell me if they didn't get an invite. There might have been others who were missed (you hear stories about a box of invites being found under a seat in a car some times), and the groom and bride are wondering why so many people never responded. Better to let them know I think.

  
  

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• lschwar2 member

  

  October 2013

  Update??

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• MuppetOverlord member

  

  October 2013

  I absolutely would have said we would have made it if we received an invitation.
  

  
  
  You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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• kgd7357 member

  

  October 2013 edited October 2013

  This happened to me. But we really weren't invited. So awkward.

  Bride: "I wish you could have been there."

  Me: "Yeah me too"

  Bride: "I hope you understand though, we just didn't have the space"

  Me: "Yeah I get it"

  We are not friends anymore. Don't send a STD if you aren't sending an invite. I have one STD I was I hadn't sent. Guess what, the guy is getting the invite anyway.

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