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Etiquette

New to the team but my co-supervisor? Does she get invited?

I recently got a promotion at work to be the interim supervisor of a group of people while my regular supervisor assists another. My superiors decided it would be best to split my normal team of 6 into 2 and I would get half and another coworker (who I had not worked with before) would be the interim supervisor for the other half. We've only been at this position for a week and a half but we've already started to butt heads. My question is- would it be rude for me not to invite her to the wedding? We've been told that we will only be peers at this level for around 3 months and then we will return to our normal positions on separate teams. My wedding's not for another 10 months but I'm think about sending out save the dates in a few weeks. Thanks in advance!

Re: New to the team but my co-supervisor? Does she get invited?

  • No you don't have to invite her nor will it be rude not to. Unless you've already told her you were inviting her. But, based on what you're writing, I don't see why you would have. If you don't like her, don't invite her.
    melbelleupmysticl
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    It is not rude to leave her out. You should invite friends, family, and people you want to see at your wedding. It is entirely up to you who will be there.

    However, you may want to send save the dates to any invited coworkers' homes. That way you will not be handing out STDs/ invitations right in front of somebody who isn't invited.
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    eyeroll
  • I recently got a promotion at work to be the interim supervisor of a group of people while my regular supervisor assists another. My superiors decided it would be best to split my normal team of 6 into 2 and I would get half and another coworker (who I had not worked with before) would be the interim supervisor for the other half. We've only been at this position for a week and a half but we've already started to butt heads. My question is- would it be rude for me not to invite her to the wedding? We've been told that we will only be peers at this level for around 3 months and then we will return to our normal positions on separate teams. My wedding's not for another 10 months but I'm think about sending out save the dates in a few weeks. Thanks in advance!
    You don't have to invite anyone, including co-workers. Just because you work with someone doesn't mean they get an invite to your wedding. I'm not inviting a single co-worker, same with FI especially because I just met these people and none of them know me outside of work. I'll pass and invite FI's re-enacting friends instead that he's known all his life.
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  • I really don't think anyone should feel obligated to invite anyone they work with unless they want to. But if you aren't sure how you will feel about her in a few months don't worry about it right now. You don't need to give save the dates to everyone you end up inviting so you have plenty of time. Save the dates are really just a way to give advance notice to people you especially want at your wedding so they can plan accordingly. I have been invited to many weddings that I never got a Save The Date for and didn't think anything of it. So give yourself time, and three months before your wedding evaluate how you feel about inviting her. Have you become friends by then? Go ahead and invite her. Are you mortal enemies? Then don't.
    image
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You don't owe her an invitation just because you work with her-especially if you're not getting along.
  • Agreed- One is not required to invite any co-workers unless they are friends you would invite anyway. 

    But I do agree, if you plan to invite other coworkers, send their invites to their home as to not point out who is and who is not invited from the work place (keep work and personal matters separate).

    Also, with your STDs, unless you are doing a DW, STDs are often reserved for your VIPs only- your nearest and dearest family and friends you know will for sure be invited. So, if you are unsure about any guests at this point, you can not send them a STD and wait until your invitations get sent out (STD = invitation, but invitation =/= STD). 
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I wouldn't send STDs to co-workers.  You never know what could happen with their or your employement.  You could get a new job somewhere else and not see these people again or vice versa.  Just send the invitations to their home, when its time for invites to go out.
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I wouldn't send STD to co-workers. A lot ca change at work in 10 months. I don't want to be locked in to invited people you don't work with, get along with or would rather drop from the list to add personal friends and family. Wait until invites go out to invite them.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • You do not have to invite this woman at all, your guest list is comepletely up to you.  Also, I would not bother sending to the StDs to anyone who is a VIP (family and friends that you really want there and will definitly be inviting to the wedding in 10 months)  As others have said a StD means you have to Invite them but by not sending a StD you can decide as the date gets closer.  GL and congrats on your promotion!!!!
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    You don't have to invite anyone who you don't want to or anyone you are not close with.  You don't have to invite this woman or anyone else from your workplace.  You could still invite other coworkers that you are closer to and not her or others that you are not very personal with.
    image
  • Evaluate your relationship with this girl later.  If you are no longer working closely with her, you probably won't want to invite her. But relationships change for the good and the bad, so you never know. 

    Honestly, I would not send save the dates to ANY of your coworkers.  Send them to OOT'ers/VIPs only, and in circles if needed (ie if Uncle Joe lives OOT, I would send STDs Joe and your other aunts and uncles- even if they are local).

    image
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