Background: I've asked my nieces (aged 7 and 8.5) to be in my wedding as flower girls. FI's asked his youngest female cousin (9 and never asked before) to join as a flower girl. They will be sitting with us at the reception (we're not having MOH, BM, etc, but want the girls to feel special). Collectively, at time of the wedding, girls will be 9.5, almost 9, and 7.5. Only other children there will be youngest cousin's brother (6.5-7) and my cousin's son (5). As for adolescents, 1 almost 15 year old. End Background.
Our ceremony and reception venue offers plated lunch options for daytime weddings (like ours). This includes salad, rolls, entree and sides. We will have hor devours while taking a few photos, wedding cake, and fresh fruit with chocolate fondue (FI's demand in place of groom's cake, compromise from his desire for pizza at a semi-formal daytime wedding! lol). The venue also offers a children's meal for kids under 10 with options of hot dog and fries, grilled cheese and fries, and chicken tenders and fries, (oh so healthy!)
I was speaking with my sister earlier last week, telling her about wedding plans (she's the mother of my nieces), and how a children's option was offered for under 10s, and how much food was included in lunch plated options (quite a bit and very filling for a full grown adult- we had a tasting last week). She proceeded to inform me that her girls would probably prefer to receive a smaller portion of the full plate option rather than have a children's meal. Um WHAT? I'm not sure if this is because she and her husband are very health conscious and don't want the girls eating fries (though the idea of cake AND fruit in fondue was apparently fine) but the venue doesn't split meals. Even if they did, I think FI's cousin would feel bad if she saw the other two flower girls getting an adult meal (albiet smaller portions) while she got a children's meal, as would the very perceptive brother of flower girl cousin. I told my sister that the venue doesn't give smaller portions, hence the children's meal options. She made some comment about them splitting the meal. I changed the subject to not having any specific preference to shoes for the girls, aside from off white dress shoes.
She hasn't yet DEMANDED a full meal for each girl, but her high handed tone on the phone implied she expected it. Is she out of line? Should FI and I give full meals to three girls who likely won't eat half of it and get upset when they don't have room for some cake? As a side, the children's meals are about 8 dollars each. The adult meals are about 21 per person, so there is a cost saving thought here too. Any ideas on how to handle her?