Talk to me about your registry...

ohxhi · November 2013

I'm planning on going to register this weekend. I've been trolling websites for the places I've been thinking I'd like go (Crate and Barrel, Macy's, Target, Kohl's), but I feel kind of overwhelmed. FI and I already live together - we bought our house a few months after we got engaged - and so we did a lot of buying back then.

I'm not planning on registering for everything, but I'm definitely set on upgrading a few things (the dishes, which were his bachelor plates and cups that friends and family gave him when he moved out 10 years ago) but I don't know what I should be getting from where. I know I'm overcomplicating it. Bring me back to reality and tell me what you guys are thinking of doing or what you've already done.

pumpkinsandturkeys · November 2013

Registering is one of those things I'm only half looking forward to. We've lived together for over 4 years and we both lived on our own for years before that, so we have most of the things we need already. There are a few odd things we want, and we do need new cutlery and an everyday dinnerware set (our current dishes are such mishmash!), but those tend to be higher-priced items that A) a group of people go in on or

you register for items individually and hope you get them all... But since we're only having 35 people at the wedding, there's a good chance that neither will happen for us. Soooo I don't really know what to register for! New towels and some extra sheets, etc., maybe? A few kitchen things?

ohxhi · November 2013

Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. Besides getting my hands on some matching dishes and silverware and drinking glasses, I don't really know. I thought about towels too! And maybe a new duvet cover that I like but wasn't planning on splurging for myself. I feel better knowing we're sort of in the same boat

pumpkinsandturkeys · November 2013

@ohxhi That's pretty much exactly what I was thinking, right down to the duvet cover! Haha. I think it'll end up being exactly that -- 'basics' that I don't reeeeally need, but want and wouldn't buy for myself until they become a need. And FI really wants one of those T-Fal Acti-fry things haha

kellibastien · November 2013

I have been told by a few people to wait until after the holidays to go register... that way, we won't register for items that will be taken off the shelves once the holidays are over, and their new items will be out... and should stay out for months after.

Just what I've heard. I've been itching for, like, 3 months to go register!

[Deleted User] · November 2013

Don't register at too many places. I only did two places, Bed Bath & Beyond and Macy's. I was stressed with that!! Bed Bath has almost everything, and I just love Macy's. I compared prices at both, which had the best deals, or whichever had the model of what I was trying to buy I registered for it there. I've definitely changed things a million times. Just have fun with it. Update whatever you want to update, do what you want, it's your registry!!

ohxhi · November 2013

@kellibastien I hadn't even thought about things going out of stock during the holidays. That's a really good point.

People keep telling me I should before Christmas so they can buy us things off the registry as Christmas gifts.

FutureMrsN3312 · November 2013

kellibastien said:

I have been told by a few people to wait until after the holidays to go register... that way, we won't register for items that will be taken off the shelves once the holidays are over, and their new items will be out... and should stay out for months after.

Just what I've heard. I've been itching for, like, 3 months to go register!

I've been itching to register for what feels like forever! We'll either register in time for the holidays or right after. Our thinking was if we register for some stuff before the holidays family can shop off of there. We both still live at home and need EVERYTHING. I much rather have a practical gift. If we don't register before the holidays when people ask what we want I guess we can just tell them gift cards.

tammym1001 · November 2013

I just registered on Saturday. I went to Macy's. FI and I have lived together for 3 1/2 years and we both lived on our own before that so we have a ton of stuff. I ended up registering for extra towels and sheets, new glasses, a couple of specialty pans, matching barware, silverware, and a few odds and ends. The guy at Macy's was really pushy about me registering for traditional things so I had to put my foot down with him. We are also only having 35 guests so I didn't need to register for a ton of stuff.

msdidonato · November 2013

We registered at Macys, Bed Bath & Beyond and Sur La Table. Sur La Table was for my FI. He is a big knife guy.

We both have lived on our own for 5+ years and lived together for several months. We are getting things like bathroom stuff, things that will be ours together not just his stuff or my stuff. We also are getting a new casual dish setting. Giving our current stuff to my younger brother and his brother who is going thru a divorce. We also are getting little odds and ends, plus we put on there some stuff that would be nice, but we don't expect.

Our parents both told us not to register for any of the fine ware or chine. They have enough for us.

It was fun but stressful. I ended up taking one of the master list and going thru it with each of our registers and made sure we didn't ask for multiple of the same things. Turns out we registered for kitchen towels at all three places, all different designs!! I feel much better after going thru all the lists.

Good Luck and have fun!!!

I registered for some "seen on tv" stuff that I really want but never wanted to buy. LOL. It is fun.

vmj23 · November 2013

I haven't registered yet, waiting til after the holidays. Me and my fiancé have lived together for a few years, and own a home so I have a lot of stuff that I've bought on my own already(tons of kitchen stuff, kitchen aid, etc). I really don't feel I need much but figure I can always use some new sheets/towels and would like a new set of everyday dishes, Aside from that, I was thinking of just registering for some decorative stuff. We moved into our new home about a year ago, but I still haven't come close to decorating it. I plan on registering at bed bath and beyond and 1 other place - which I haven't decided yet. some places ive considered are macys, kohls, pier 1. Overll I haven't put much thought into it. when I come across something I could use, instead of buying it (like I would normally do!) I just jot it down as something to put on the registry because I hate going to showers where the registries are limited and I can't find something to buy!

smolli88 · November 2013

My FI and I registered at BB & B a few weeks ago. It gives family/close friends ideas for Christmas/birthday gifts. (both of our birthdays will happen before the wedding)

If you already have a lot of stuff, you don't have to do a traditional registry. Start a honeymoon registry. Or, register at a hardware store (like Home Depot) so you can update/renovate your home. There are sites (myregistry.com) where you can combine items from different websites to create a registry. Or start a registry at Amazon.com...they seem to have everything you may or may not think you need!

FutureMrsN3312 · November 2013

smolli88 said:

My FI and I registered at BB & B a few weeks ago. It gives family/close friends ideas for Christmas/birthday gifts. (both of our birthdays will happen before the wedding)

If you already have a lot of stuff, you don't have to do a traditional registry. Start a honeymoon registry. Or, register at a hardware store (like Home Depot) so you can update/renovate your home. There are sites (myregistry.com) where you can combine items from different websites to create a registry. Or start a registry at Amazon.com...they seem to have everything you may or may not think you need!

The general consensus around here is that honeymoon registries are frowned upon. To each their own but perhaps you should check out this information that I found helpful over on the Etiquette board.

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/999491/what-your-guests-really-think-of-your-honeymoon-registry#latest

pumpkinsandturkeys · November 2013

I'm not personally a fan of honeymoon registries, but to each their own! I respect the Etiquette board, but sometimes I find it a bit stifling because everyone's situation is different and in some cases, there is no 'right' answer.

bellaluna290 · November 2013

You totally aren't overthinking things! FI hasn't lived on his own, but I have and so most of our registry are things that I have been dreaming about and things that I have been too poor to buy on my own. We are doing some upgrades (sheets and pans) too. You can never have too many towels.

Ditto FutureMrsN3312 about honeymoon registries.

smolli88 · November 2013

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

I'm not personally a fan of honeymoon registries, but to each their own! I respect the Etiquette board, but sometimes I find it a bit stifling because everyone's situation is different and in some cases, there is no 'right' answer.

THANK YOU!

I was just throwing out a few ideas...I don't frequent these boards enough to know what "the general consensus" says. We are all here for the same reason--to get wedding ideas, advice, and share stories. No need to get into a tizzy and make someone feel unwelcome...

For the record, I'm not a fan of honeymoon registries, but if that's what a friend truly wants for their wedding, then I will oblige.

ark155 · November 2013

I had so much fun figuring out my registry! I went for the first time with my mom (my fiance ok'd me to start without him) and she pointed out some kitchen things that I never would have thought of - fun serving dishes, gadgets, more like....hostess-y stuff. Then my fiance and I went back and added dishes, silverware, pots/pans, barware....things we'd like to upgrade since we recently merged households and our dishes and stuff are sort of a mish-mash. And of course we put some sheets and towels on there

We registered at Macy's and Bed Bath & Beyond. We sort of just picked stuff that we liked, but then went online and read reviews afterwards (BBB customers post a lot of reviews!) and changed some things. For example, the dishes we picked at BBB....a LOT of people posted that they broke easily, so we went back and picked a different set. I thought it was easier to pick things and then read reviews specific to that product, than just go online and read reviews of everything before shopping. Most stores will give you a guide/checklist which is helpful.

I am irrationally excited about the mixer I put on our registry....I've seen so many good recipes that require a stand mixer and they're so darn expensive! Fingers crossed on that one...

ark155 · November 2013

@msdidonato- that is so nice of you to give your dishes, etc. to your brothers, especially the one going through a divorce. What a thoughtful way to cycle out your old stuff.

FutureMrsN3312 · November 2013

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

I'm not personally a fan of honeymoon registries, but to each their own! I respect the Etiquette board, but sometimes I find it a bit stifling because everyone's situation is different and in some cases, there is no 'right' answer.

Totally agree!

smolli88 said:

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

I'm not personally a fan of honeymoon registries, but to each their own! I respect the Etiquette board, but sometimes I find it a bit stifling because everyone's situation is different and in some cases, there is no 'right' answer.

THANK YOU!

I was just throwing out a few ideas...I don't frequent these boards enough to know what "the general consensus" says. We are all here for the same reason--to get wedding ideas, advice, and share stories. No need to get into a tizzy and make someone feel unwelcome...

For the record, I'm not a fan of honeymoon registries, but if that's what a friend truly wants for their wedding, then I will oblige.

That was by no means my intention and I apologize if it came off that way. I've seen people be put in their place about it. It was meant as a warning.

I too have given money towards a honeymoon registry. I never knew until the knot that it wasn't "acceptable" and that what you give doesn't all go to the couple.

Kristen625 · November 2013

Ugh. I don't know what to do. We were just in BB&B today cause we had a gift card, but I don't know that we both loved enough in there to register for stuff. Maybe Macy's would be okay, but in all honesty we aren't "macy's people". I feel like its too fancy for us. We are Target people, so maybe we will register there (besides, I love target, and I could register for half the damn store there ). We have talked about setting up a honeymoon registry, as that is what my older brother and SIL did, and it worked out great for them. No one said anything about it being an etiquette no-no until I was on the etiquette board here on TK. Like most of you, we have both lived on our own for several years before moving in together. So we have plenty of home stuff. I'm just torn. I know that even though we have the honeymoon registry, there will be a few older guests who like to bring an actual gift, so that is why I would set up a small one at Target or something. Also, I do like the idea of waiting until after the holidays before registering, that does sound like a good idea

ohxhi · November 2013

@pumpkinsandturkeys @smolli88 I completely agree with the etiquette board - holy. Sometimes I go over there for a laugh just because those people get so bent out of shape over things that (I think) aren't that big of a deal. I would never post anything there because I don't want to get my face chewed off by girls who think they're "Ms. Manners."

That said, I agree with @FutureMrsN3312's OP - as a general rule I think honeymoon registries aren't favored, but honestly, if that's something that works for you and most/all of your guests know about it, then I think it's fine. Whatever it is, it's definitely not worth getting worked up over. TACKY! SO WRONG! So are their responses, sometimes. Dis-countess.

smolli88 · November 2013

@FutureMrsN3312

No hard feelings. From someone less informed, thank you and I appreciate the heads-up.

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