Wedding Woes

Former bridesmaid refuses to return wedding decorations

I chose a coworker of my fiance to as one of my bridesmaids. She has been a good friend to us and was there for us at a very crucial time. I felt she deserved to be honored at our wedding. She has on and off been a pain. She would be helpful then start fights between all of the wedding party. The final straw came about ten days ago when she aired a bunch of unnecessary stuff on FB then started sending me awful messages. I could not take it anymore. I am not kissing her behind to make it work anymore, this is my wedding and she is making it a nightmare. We made it clear to one another that we would not be seeing each other anymore. It should feel good to have this behind me but it is only getting worse.
At her urging I left all of my decorations at her house from the arch to the table clothes to floral, almost my entire wedding. She said we could have craft days at her house and we did once but again left everything there. In the parting of our friendship she promised to have all of my things ready for pick up by this past weekend but did not.
 After I invited her to be in my wedding, she went crazy purchasing things that were way out of my budget. I did not know about this until she showed up at a bridal party brunch with several of the things. When I told the girls of what I imagined my centerpieces would look like she said she did not like it and wanted me to use the stuff she bought instead.  I eventually caved in and created her dream wedding instead of mine. When I asked about all the money she spent she would tell me that we could figure it out after the wedding. Her purchases only encompassed centerpieces and bouquet parts.
She is now refusing to return anything. She is tearing up the floral we created and I have several hundred dollars wrapped in them along with her money. She wont give me the decorations she urged me to store at her house that she had no investment in. On top of all of this, I took a family heirloom over that I intended on carrying on my wedding day and left it thinking I would be back in a week to work on more stuff so there was no need to keep a death grip on it.
My wedding is in 4 weeks and she says she will not return my things prior to my wedding because I cannot pay for her unsolicited investment. I have advised her to remove the things that belong to her and return the things I purchased. Which she initially agreed to but has not done.
I dont know what to do. Do I have any legal recourse that can happen that fast? I have been very nice to her and not said anything that I actually thought. I cant believe this is happening. Please any advise will help.

Re: Former bridesmaid refuses to return wedding decorations

  • sarahlovesroger said: I chose a coworker of my fiance to as one of my bridesmaids. She has been a good friend to us and was there for us at a very crucial time. I felt she deserved to be honored at our wedding. She has on and off been a pain. She would be helpful then start fights between all of the wedding party. The final straw came about ten days ago when she aired a bunch of unnecessary stuff on FB then started sending me awful messages. I could not take it anymore. I am not kissing her behind to make it work anymore, this is my wedding and she is making it a nightmare. We made it clear to one another that we would not be seeing each other anymore. It should feel good to have this behind me but it is only getting worse.
    At her urging I left all of my decorations at her house from the arch to the table clothes to floral, almost my entire wedding. She said we could have craft days at her house and we did once but again left everything there. In the parting of our friendship she promised to have all of my things ready for pick up by this past weekend but did not.
     After I invited her to be in my wedding, she went crazy purchasing things that were way out of my budget. I did not know about this until she showed up at a bridal party brunch with several of the things. When I told the girls of what I imagined my centerpieces would look like she said she did not like it and wanted me to use the stuff she bought instead.  I eventually caved in and created her dream wedding instead of mine. When I asked about all the money she spent she would tell me that we could figure it out after the wedding. Her purchases only encompassed centerpieces and bouquet parts.
    She is now refusing to return anything. She is tearing up the floral we created and I have several hundred dollars wrapped in them along with her money. She wont give me the decorations she urged me to store at her house that she had no investment in. On top of all of this, I took a family heirloom over that I intended on carrying on my wedding day and left it thinking I would be back in a week to work on more stuff so there was no need to keep a death grip on it.
    My wedding is in 4 weeks and she says she will not return my things prior to my wedding because I cannot pay for her unsolicited investment. I have advised her to remove the things that belong to her and return the things I purchased. Which she initially agreed to but has not done.
    I dont know what to do. Do I have any legal recourse that can happen that fast? I have been very nice to her and not said anything that I actually thought. I cant believe this is happening. Please any advise will help.

    Dude, you kicked her out of the wedding. I don't really blame her. You should apologize and pay her whatever she had put into these things. Then
    you can return them after you get them.
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  • Generally I think you can call a non emergency police line and say someone has your property and refuses to give it back, and request an officer assist you. Hopefully you have receipts to prove the items are yours. You didn't ask her to buy those things, but you did agree to use them. Nobody put a gun to your head, you didn't stand up for yourself. So I think you need to find a way to pay her back. Consider it a lesson learned and next time grow a spine.
  • Would it really have been that hard to deal with her for another four weeks then cut off the friendship post-wedding? You can't just kick someone out for being an occasional pain in the ass -- if we all did that, none of us would have wedding parties by wedding day. It sucks that she's doing this, and I hope you get all your shit back, but you really shouldn't have kicked her out of the wedding, especially when you knew that everything was over at her house!

  • what to do about your belongings that your former friend has, and what to do about the decorations you need in 4 weeks are two separate things. even though you think it's the same issue, it really isn't. since you can't force her to do the right thing and give you back our stuff, you're going to have to plan for new items. (besides, if she truly is the crazy person you claim, then who knows what kind of amage she's done to your crap.)

    the second thing you can do is file a claim in small claims court to get back your items, or get back the money you paid. get your receipts together. there's no guarantee you'll get anything back, but if youre stuff is this valuable to you then it's worth a try.

    as for legitimate legal recourse, depending on how much money this tuff is worth, you might want to ask an actual lawyer.

  • cops call them and you left things at a friends house you no longer are friends but you want whats personally yours back and you would like someone to come with you so you can retreive those things
  • First, I would try to see if there is any way to work it out with her to get the items back. If not, call the cops and having them help you get your items back.  If that doesn't work, you can file with small claims court, but that may take longer.  But she may be more willing to accommodate you once she received a summons to court.

    As far as the items she purchased, I think you need to find some way to pay her back.  Maybe see if you can make payments to her over time if you can't afford to pay right now. If she knows that you actually plan to pay her for them, and make an initial partial payment to her, she might be more receptive. She may have bought the items without your prior permission, but you agreed to use them.  Plus payment for these items was discussed, so even if she said you could work out payment after the wedding, she seems to have still expected you to pay for them. You should have pushed harder with her at the start and told her you appreciate the gesture, but you plan to use your own centerpieces, not the ones she purchased. But, since you didn't, and you agreed to use them, you are liable for the cost.

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