Silly Rant -sorry

triciaandkenswedding · October 2013

So I know a 4 year engagement is long, but there are reasons for it beyond the saving money & paying cash. But we want to lock down a venue now. First, places in this area book quickly, many do one wedding a day and we want our day & our choice. Second, sign now, the price is locked in. So my rant is when I call places, so many are out right rude!!! They won't book that far in advance, its silly, etc. I was in tears last night because some venues won't even show us the place this far out. It is really making me mad. This is my FI first wedding, and he is so excited. I want him to have everything he wants and these venues are ruining our planning fun!!!

HisGirlFriday13 · October 2013

triciaandkenswedding said:

So I know a 4 year engagement is long, but there are reasons for it beyond the saving money & paying cash. But we want to lock down a venue now. First, places in this area book quickly, many do one wedding a day and we want our day & our choice. Second, sign now, the price is locked in. So my rant is when I call places, so many are out right rude!!! They won't book that far in advance, its silly, etc. I was in tears last night because some venues won't even show us the place this far out. It is really making me mad. This is my FI first wedding, and he is so excited. I want him to have everything he wants and these venues are ruining our planning fun!!!

They're right, it is. This is far too early to even THINK about booking things. Do you know how much can happen in four years? Places will go out of business, they'll change, they'll get new ownership, they'll get new management, etc. I understand you're excited, but you need to slow your roll way down on this one.

Doesntplaynice82 · October 2013

Just find out how far in advance they will allow you to book and call on that day to book it.

4 years is a long time.

triciaandkenswedding · October 2013

I know you are right, I just wanted to get this done so we know what we are paying. And its they way they are handling. There are already vendors I won't be calling back! But when I got married the first time, at 2 years out, many places were already booked! So maybe after the holidays we'll look. That will be 3 calendar years.

melbelleup · October 2013

When we got engaged (Dec 31st) no one would do anything with me until our 1 yr of the wedding, which was this past June. I did manage to book our venue I believe in April. Many venues only book 2 yrs-18 months in advanced. When you call the place, just ask if you can see a menu of their current prices and when is the earliest they can put you in the books. But know when I was looking, flowers, cakes, and dresses won't take you serious until a year before. They won't give you the time of day. For this reason, I didn't choose to even check with other bakers because most thought I meant June 2013 even though I said 2014 or they refused to meet with me until Octoberish. I live 8 hrs from my wedding... when I'm in town I want to do wedding things, not when it's convenient to the vender. I actually just this week deposited for our cake even though we did the tasting in July and knew we were going to use her. Just a word of advice though, try 2 year-18 months for photography, dj, venue, videographer (if having), church

MrsAitch · October 2013

Maybe I am silly, but are you sure you can't just have a more simple, affordable wedding sooner? Why wait 4 years? It just makes no sense to me. If you want to get married, actually get married. I just do not understand when couples have a super long engagement--ours is going to be about 7 months, and even that seems crazy long to me. Are you really sure you couldn't handle a 1-2 year long engagement?

FutureMrsN3312 · October 2013

We'll be engaged 2 years in March and getting married in May. The only we booked 2 years out was the venue. Everything else waited till 18 months out. Even then I was nervous of giving deposits because a lot can change/happen that far out. So far so good but I've heard plenty of places going out of business and keeping peoples deposits.

I know I couldn't wait to start planning but try to be patient.

CommitmentCat · October 2013

If you are looking at these places in terms of budget, you will not get a price for 4 years down the line. I would go have a look, say you're thinking of a wedding in say a year and a half, get the prices for that year and add a couple of percent for each year until your wedding. Yes, it won't have your dream venue booked but at least you'll have a guestimate at what you'll be spending. The venues I'm looking at show me prices for this year and next, you'll most likely see that too and be able to gauge what their annual increases are. This might help with budgeting.

In terms of booking, I agree with PPs, places do change ownership and so many things can happen that it would be unrealistic for them to take a booking now. Not only on their side but they also can't guarantee that your relationship wont change in 4 years! I would find out when they are able to take bookings and do it then. In the meantime, LIE! If you want to see a venue, just say you're getting married sooner than you are and check it out.

That's my advice on your current situation, I would like to just add that I think 4 years is a little too early to plan. I'm planning for my wedding which is now just under 11 months away. I've changed my mind about a thousand times already. I might have to delay my wedding because I can't make up my mind. The dress style I have loved and thought I would get married in...well, I started browsing through magazines when I got engaged, I have done a complete 180. I am kicking myself because I like ruffles!? It shocks me. Taste can change....4 years is very long.

kaos16 · October 2013

While I see that you are frustrated, try to look at it from their business perspective. . . . Any catering hall or company has expenses. Those expenses likely rise every year. So, the same reason you want to lock in a price now for 4 years out is the reason they don't want to! They could end up losing money. I agree with the PP who suggested looking at current rates and aiming to save a certain percentage more to allow for the inflation of the prices over the next 4 years. If you are able to book later for rates closer to what they are now you will have lost nothing, you'll just have extra money saved up for add-ons or to put into savings.

LakeR2014 · October 2013

@triciaandkenswedding Although I know you want to get a venue locked down at the current prices for four years out - you most likely won't. My contract stipulates that the final price is to be determined 1 month out from my wedding date even though I will have signed it a year before. Why? Because food prices change, taxes go up, electricity goes up, etc. There's no way you'll know (or that your venues will know) what the inflation and economy will be like in 4 years. Best advice. Concentrate on saying for two years (if you really do need to have a 4 year engagement) and then start looking at the two year mark.

Congratulations!

ashleyep · October 2013

kaos16 said:

While I see that you are frustrated, try to look at it from their business perspective. . . . Any catering hall or company has expenses. Those expenses likely rise every year. So, the same reason you want to lock in a price now for 4 years out is the reason they don't want to! They could end up losing money. I agree with the PP who suggested looking at current rates and aiming to save a certain percentage more to allow for the inflation of the prices over the next 4 years. If you are able to book later for rates closer to what they are now you will have lost nothing, you'll just have extra money saved up for add-ons or to put into savings.

For what it's worth, when I booked my venue 16 months out, there was a line in contract that said food prices could increase by up to 5% (though I got them to put it in writing that I had to be notified by January 1 if that will happen). Booking 4 years out doesn't necessarily have to lock the price in, but most places aren't going to book anything more than 2 years out.

smalfrie19 · October 2013

MrsAitch said:

Maybe I am silly, but are you sure you can't just have a more simple, affordable wedding sooner? Why wait 4 years? It just makes no sense to me. If you want to get married, actually get married. I just do not understand when couples have a super long engagement--ours is going to be about 7 months, and even that seems crazy long to me. Are you really sure you couldn't handle a 1-2 year long engagement?

Because some people want the big wedding. Its important to them. I will have been engaged 27 months by the time I get married. Having the big wedding is important to my FI and I. We were going to do it this year and then expenses came up and had to push it out.

JoanE2012 · October 2013

LakeR2014 said:

@triciaandkenswedding Although I know you want to get a venue locked down at the current prices for four years out - you most likely won't. My contract stipulates that the final price is to be determined 1 month out from my wedding date even though I will have signed it a year before. Why? Because food prices change, taxes go up, electricity goes up, etc. There's no way you'll know (or that your venues will know) what the inflation and economy will be like in 4 years. Best advice. Concentrate on saying for two years (if you really do need to have a 4 year engagement) and then start looking at the two year mark.

Congratulations!

I've never heard of that before. Is there a cap on the maximum the final price can be?

APDSS22 · October 2013

@triciaandkenswedding : I had a two and a half year long engagement, so I get the long engagement thing. H and I wanted to save up to have a fantastic wedding with all the people we wanted there. We started figuring out what we wanted right after we got engaged, but we didn't try to pick out individual vendors until about 1.5 years out. We went to a bridal show and had so many vendors thrown at our heads we didn't want to go to another one. We did find our dj and reception venue from that show though so maybe going to one would be an option for you? We got a lot of pricing information and venue restriction information although they did qualify that those prices were for that year and the next and couldn't be guaranteed after that.

lizandmark2014 · October 2013

After the holidays I would call and ask how far out they usually book. You could ask for an estimate or rang in price from the venue. I would say something like "Thank you for taking my call today VENDER STAFF. I was wondering how far in advance you book weddings? I am still in the preliminary planning stages of a wedding could you give me a ruff estimation or range on your services, so when I am ready to book I can have the full amount or deposit ready/ saved?

Just keep in mind you have lots of time and prices fluctuate. ( yes even with in one year.)

manateehugger · October 2013

How can you book a venue this far out? Do you even know your budget and guest count? So much could happen in four years.

MyNameIsNot · October 2013

They're right. 4 years is ridiculously early to be planning. It would be bad business for them to sign contracts now and agree to leave prices at current rates that far out. You might be able to negotiate that kind of deal 12-18 months in advance (I did), but they aren't going to give you that kind of agreement until they can realistically estimate their own costs.

If you really want to see a venue, you don't have to give them the date 4 years out. Just tell them you haven't set a date yet and you're working to budget before you make a decision. You don't have to tell them that it will probably be 2017. But seriously, if you start planning now, you'll be so burnt out by the time the wedding finally rolls around that you won't want to think about it.

triciaandkenswedding · November 2013

MrsAitch said:

Maybe I am silly, but are you sure you can't just have a more simple, affordable wedding sooner? Why wait 4 years? It just makes no sense to me. If you want to get married, actually get married. I just do not understand when couples have a super long engagement--ours is going to be about 7 months, and even that seems crazy long to me. Are you really sure you couldn't handle a 1-2 year long engagement?

There are other legal and tax reasons from my divorce that is making us wait the 4 years. I need to be 1000% certain things are resolved before hand. The lawyers say it SHOULD happen in 2016, but........ (and yes, I am legally divorced, but there are still joint property issues)

triciaandkenswedding · November 2013

Update - I found 3 venues today that will show us their site & even sign a contract and lock in a price. They said they will increase it a few $ from their 2016 prices. I realize it is silly, but we at least want to look. 1 even said they have 3 2017 weddings already booked. Feeling better (plus FI called and yelled at once place because they were out right rude, said a wedding that far away would never happen)

APDSS22 · November 2013

triciaandkenswedding said:

Update - I found 3 venues today that will show us their site & even sign a contract and lock in a price. They said they will increase it a few $ from their 2016 prices. I realize it is silly, but we at least want to look. 1 even said they have 3 2017 weddings already booked. Feeling better (plus FI called and yelled at once place because they were out right rude, said a wedding that far away would never happen)

That's just bad business as well as rude. It's their job to sell you something, not treat you like crap. I'd be pissed and I'm glad your FI set them straight.

triciaandkenswedding · November 2013

It was. Some of the venues were so horrible, I won't call them ever. This place was soooo rude. He spoke to the owner, who then called me and said they have temps answering the phone and that temp will never be back. They did offer us a free dinner. Maybe.

CLI242009 · November 2013

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

triciaandkenswedding said:

Update - I found 3 venues today that will show us their site & even sign a contract and lock in a price. They said they will increase it a few $ from their 2016 prices. I realize it is silly, but we at least want to look. 1 even said they have 3 2017 weddings already booked. Feeling better (plus FI called and yelled at once place because they were out right rude, said a wedding that far away would never happen)

That's just bad business as well as rude. It's their job to sell you something, not treat you like crap. I'd be pissed and I'm glad your FI set them straight.

This has happened to me countless of times when I was trying to plan a wedding 2 years out long distance from New York to Hawaii. No one wanted to co operate with me and most of the time, the venues gave off the impression that is highlighted already.

Things came up and we're no longer doing a Hawaii wedding in 2015, but it was stressful trying to get people to talk to me. I wish you luck!

triciaandkenswedding · November 2013

What I really don't get is for my first wedding, venues said they were booked 3-4 years in advance! Guess that was just so I thought they were really popular.

CLI242009 · November 2013

triciaandkenswedding said:

What I really don't get is for my first wedding, venues said they were booked 3-4 years in advance! Guess that was just so I thought they were really popular.

Yup they will do that too. I know some vendors, if you inquire with them and they can tell you REALLY like them, they will give you a call like a week or so after your meeting with them and say "Hey I just wanted to let you know I have had another couple/event inquire about your date...." So yeah watch out for that too.

futurepastorswife · November 2013

Depending on how long ago your first wedding way, the economy might have changed a little bit, so booking that far our may have died down. I am booking for Oct 2015 and having a little trouble too. Good luck!!

triciaandkenswedding · November 2013

Thanks for all the feedback. We talked and anybody who doesn't want to talk to us now, we don't want to talk to later! We've found 7 venues who will sign a contract now, and lock in rates (they estimated rates for 2017,but are willing to lock them in) and we want this done early next year. We want to try to lock down the big things next year (venue, photographer and videographer). The rest obviously will wait until closer.

CLI242009 · November 2013

Yay! See if you just keep trying you will find someone who is willing. The ones that are willing to go the extra mile are definitely the ones worth looking further into.

I know they need to see it from a business standpoint, but at the same time, when I'm treated more like a "client" or "customer" I feel like they don't care? I'm not sure I'm explaining this correctly.

Anyways, good for you! I'm happy you found someone ^_^

Silly Rant -sorry

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