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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    greenbunny79 said:
    My brother makes an average income and has a mortgage, has one car loan and leases another car for his fiance.  He is paying for his wedding himself and had to take out a loan against his retirement pension to pay for some of it.  He is now planning a honeymoon for 12,000 to spend 2 weeks in Europe.  I told him I think this is ridiculous (maybe I shouldn't have said anything- his life, his choices).  But really it breaks my heart to see the financial ruin he will go into over this.  He seems to think he will make enough money at his wedding to pay for it.  He isn't listening to reason and sound advice such as needing an emergency savings account, etc.  He considers it to be his "last hurrah" before he has kids.  I think he is under the impression that this is what everyone does for their honeymoon.  Should I just drop it?  I don't want to be the medling family member.  
    Yes x a frillionty. 

    Why are you so worried about your brother's finances?  I think it's weird you either know about them intimately OR that you've made all these assumptions about how he does/should spend his money.  Butt the hell out. 
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  • greenbunny79greenbunny79 member
    First Comment
    I know about them because he tells me about them.  I usually never say anything but this one time I could not hold back
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  • greenbunny79greenbunny79 member
    First Comment
    And I am worried because he has a long history of poor financial decisions... and this one is going to be a lot worse than usual.  He's my brother, of course I worry about him.  But you're right- none of my business to give unwanted advice.
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I know far too much about my IL's finances because they talk about them openly to me (well around me, usually to my H), but you bet your ass I shut my damn mouth about their decisions good or bad. It has no bearing on my life and they are grown adults that can spend their money how they please. They don't need my advice, input, or judgment.  
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  • dharmabunnydharmabunny member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    greenbunny79 said:

    But you're right- none of my business to give unwanted advice.

    Repeat this as needed. It's his finances to manage or mismanage.
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    you've told him.
    What would telling him again do:
    a-cause hard feelings
    b-make him see the light
    ?

    My money is on a.
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yep, you can't tell another adult how to use his own money. It may come back to bite him in the ass, but hassling him about it so that you can pull an 'I told you so' down the road won't accomplish anything. It's better if you're there to support him when/if he fails because then you aren't the nagging bad guy.

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