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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Gave gift but it wasn't mentioned in thank you note - rude to confirm b&g got the gift?

So here is the situation - I was invited to a wedding for a fomer co-worker, but couldn't attend.  I sent them a gift off their registry from Bed, Bath & Beyond. I ordered it online and had it shipped to their house (they live out of state). I also mailed them a congrats card which had a more personal note than the BB&B card.  I got the thank you card in the mail about two weeks ago.  She thanked me for the nice card, but never mentioned the gift.  Is it rude to ask her if she recieved our present.  Given she went to the trouble to write me a thank you note for a card, I imagine she would have mentioned it.  I'm worried our gift never made it there, or it made it and they don't know it's from us.  I confimed it was shipped with BB&B, but you never know with that stuff.  

Thoughts? 

Re: Gave gift but it wasn't mentioned in thank you note - rude to confirm b&g got the gift?

  • I would ask. Since she went to the trouble to thank you for the card, I can't imagine she wouldn't have mentioned the gift. Weird things can happen in shipping.
  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    edited November 2013
    Definitely ask. Most people do not send thank you notes for just cards, but, it's worth asking in this case if perhaps your name got left off the packing slip, etc.

    It has happened to me before!
  • Given the way you decribed the situation, I think you are certainly entitled to ask her about the gift.
  • I would ask. 
  • Do you have a tracking number for the package? The card may have arrived first...but I would also ask.
  • There's nothing wrong with asking. That's what I had to do once to make sure my friend and her husband got their card with a nice giftcard in it.
  • I agree with PPs, the thing I would be concerned about, would be if the package got dropped off at the door, and someone helped themselves to it. That's happened to our family, and took several complaints to the post office to have them deal with the situation. Good luck!
  • Thanks for the feedback!
  • You should definitely ask. It's possible she got it and didn't know it was from you. When I got gifts from the Bed Bath and Beyond registries, the card with the sender information was always impossible to find. 
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  • Certainly you can ask.  Just do it in a way that assumes that they didn't receive the gift-not that they did receive it but are being rude in not sending you a thank-you note.  While either could be the case, you come off better if you give them the benefit of the doubt that they are polite people who wouldn't dream of not thanking you for your gift-even if you never do get a thank-you.
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