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Ceremony on land, reception on cruise at sea?

dolewhipperdolewhipper member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

What would be most appropriate if I had a ceremony at my church and then have the reception on a cruise after it disembarked? Pretty much, only those who went on the cruise would attend the reception, and a family member would host a celebration party after the honeymoon for those who couldn't go on the cruise. I've been to weddings where they did the reception before it disembarked and didn't like the limited time frame of everything (felt it was quite rushed and a lot of the other attendees felt that way too). I understand about having transportation to the port available, but most people will be driving to the church and then driving to the port if they were going on the cruise.

Trying to allow those who want to see the ceremony have the opportunity while at the same time have the cruise wedding hoped for. Thanks in advance for ideas/advice :)



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Re: Ceremony on land, reception on cruise at sea?

  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    This is horribly rude.  You cannot expect people to attend a wedding and then have it cost hundreds of dollars to attend the reception.  Either have a destination wedding or a reception on land.  You can't have both.
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer

    Yea, I guess having a half-destination wedding doesn't make much sense. Thank you!



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  • MGPMGP member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    mlg78 said:
    This is horribly rude.  You cannot expect people to attend a wedding and then have it cost hundreds of dollars to attend the reception.  Either have a destination wedding or a reception on land.  You can't have both.
    Yes, bad idea all around.

    Seriously, that's like telling your guests "you can come to the real reception if you pay to come on the cruise.  Can't afford or don't want to come on the cruise?  You get the second tier reception hosted by someone else after we get home".

    Host your guests equally or don't host them at all and elope.  It's that simple.
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  • cruffinocruffino member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    shannonmaya said:

    Yea, I guess having a half-destination wedding doesn't make much sense. Thank you!

    I you have a couple of compromise options: 1) do the whole wedding on the cruise, as a destination wedding, 2) have ceremony and reception in town and do the cruise as your honeymoon. Good luck deciding.
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  • JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    The way I read the subject of this post, I took it as you having a church ceremony and then hosting the reception on a cruise, as in, a boat that you'd rent out for a few hours and have it cruise around the harbor of your city like those party boats they have.

    I guess I came up with this image of my head because I live near Boston and thought "Oh, wow, that'd be a pretty cool idea!" But OPs are right, save your legit cruise for you and DH, and just host everyone properly :)
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  • cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    JellyBean52513 said:
    The way I read the subject of this post, I took it as you having a church ceremony and then hosting the reception on a cruise, as in, a boat that you'd rent out for a few hours and have it cruise around the harbor of your city like those party boats they have.

    I guess I came up with this image of my head because I live near Boston and thought "Oh, wow, that'd be a pretty cool idea!" But OPs are right, save your legit cruise for you and DH, and just host everyone properly :)


    I thought the same thing at first!  I had to go back after people said it would be rude to realize she meant an acutal cruise ship cruise! 

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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited November 2013
    Hmmmm, I'm wondering how etiquette applies since...

    OP is inviting everyone to go to the reception that is invited to the wedding.

    Guests can choose to go to both, one or neither.

    Guests are always allowed to skip the reception if they choose. 

    So while it's not the most polite way to host the reception - is it really a breach of etiquette?

    I would never host this kind of wedding and as a guest I would only go to the ceremony, and then only if it was local and convenient. ANd I would think it is rude of the B&G. But I'm kinda torn as to if it is a breach of etiquette. 

    ETA - after thinking about it some more, since people would have to pay to attend the reception I'm thinking it would be a breach.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    JellyBean52513 said:
    The way I read the subject of this post, I took it as you having a church ceremony and then hosting the reception on a cruise, as in, a boat that you'd rent out for a few hours and have it cruise around the harbor of your city like those party boats they have.

    I guess I came up with this image of my head because I live near Boston and thought "Oh, wow, that'd be a pretty cool idea!" But OPs are right, save your legit cruise for you and DH, and just host everyone properly :)
    Being a Bostonian, I thought the same thing. But after rereading, it sounds like this would be on a cruise that people would have to pay for.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • mommapizanomommapizano member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    OP, I know a friend who got married on land and had a reception on the ship before it set sail. Is this an option for you? Some people went along the cruise but you didn't have to and could still enjoy all the festivities. 
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  • LDubHawksFanLDubHawksFan member
    1000 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    JellyBean52513 said:

    The way I read the subject of this post, I took it as you having a church ceremony and then hosting the reception on a cruise, as in, a boat that you'd rent out for a few hours and have it cruise around the harbor of your city like those party boats they have.


    I guess I came up with this image of my head because I live near Boston and thought "Oh, wow, that'd be a pretty cool idea!" But OPs are right, save your legit cruise for you and DH, and just host everyone properly :)
    I thought the same thing, kind of like a booze cruise boat, but then I realized she meant like a carnival cruise.

    image
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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    We are doing cruise ship wedding next summer.  We were also worried about it being rushed, with only 1.5 hour reception, especially since all of our guests have to travel to get there. We have family spread all over country, and nobody lives near our wedding port... closest will be about 4 hour drive and farther is about 1,000 miles.  But, we also invited everyone (guest list is about 40 people) to join us on the cruise afterward. About 1/2 our guests are cruising with us (mostly immediate family) and 1/2 are coming onboard for wedding & reception then getting off ship before it leaves port. For those that are just coming to wedding, we plan to be in town a couple days early to spend time and celebrate with them pre-wedding, so they aren't travelling there for just 2 hour event.  For those that are cruising, we plan have a nice dinner with everyone that evening to further celebrate. But, everyone (sailing or not) at least gets to join in the official wedding reception and gets to see first dance, cake, and all that and for those cruising, it won't feel so rushed since the celebration can continue after ship departs.

    That may be an idea for you, to do the formal reception either on land or do embarkation reception on the ship, so everyone can be present for the traditional reception events, then just continue the party after the ship departs with anyone that is able to cruise with you.  So nobody is really missing out on anything, but they have the choice if they want to join for the extended partying on the cruise or not.

    image 

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  • JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    Well, I'm definitely going to consider the idea of a reception cruise, probably deporting from the North End, if my SO and I tie the knot in Boston lol
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  • cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    nicoann said:
    We are doing cruise ship wedding next summer.  We were also worried about it being rushed, with only 1.5 hour reception, especially since all of our guests have to travel to get there. We have family spread all over country, and nobody lives near our wedding port... closest will be about 4 hour drive and farther is about 1,000 miles.  But, we also invited everyone (guest list is about 40 people) to join us on the cruise afterward. About 1/2 our guests are cruising with us (mostly immediate family) and 1/2 are coming onboard for wedding & reception then getting off ship before it leaves port. For those that are just coming to wedding, we plan to be in town a couple days early to spend time and celebrate with them pre-wedding, so they aren't travelling there for just 2 hour event.  For those that are cruising, we plan have a nice dinner with everyone that evening to further celebrate. But, everyone (sailing or not) at least gets to join in the official wedding reception and gets to see first dance, cake, and all that and for those cruising, it won't feel so rushed since the celebration can continue after ship departs.

    That may be an idea for you, to do the formal reception either on land or do embarkation reception on the ship, so everyone can be present for the traditional reception events, then just continue the party after the ship departs with anyone that is able to cruise with you.  So nobody is really missing out on anything, but they have the choice if they want to join for the extended partying on the cruise or not.
    I have a question.  How can you get all of the "reception" part done in 1.5 hours???  Just getting people from ceremony into their seats taks a little while as they stop and chat, and then serving the food takes time.  Unless you are doing a non-meal time cake and punch reception that seems so short a time!
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  • ashleyepashleyep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Well, I'm definitely going to consider the idea of a reception cruise, probably deporting from the North End, if my SO and I tie the knot in Boston lol
    Spirit of Boston!
    Anniversary
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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    edited November 2013
    cowgirl8238 said:
    nicoann said:
    We are doing cruise ship wedding next summer.  We were also worried about it being rushed, with only 1.5 hour reception, especially since all of our guests have to travel to get there. We have family spread all over country, and nobody lives near our wedding port... closest will be about 4 hour drive and farther is about 1,000 miles.  But, we also invited everyone (guest list is about 40 people) to join us on the cruise afterward. About 1/2 our guests are cruising with us (mostly immediate family) and 1/2 are coming onboard for wedding & reception then getting off ship before it leaves port. For those that are just coming to wedding, we plan to be in town a couple days early to spend time and celebrate with them pre-wedding, so they aren't travelling there for just 2 hour event.  For those that are cruising, we plan have a nice dinner with everyone that evening to further celebrate. But, everyone (sailing or not) at least gets to join in the official wedding reception and gets to see first dance, cake, and all that and for those cruising, it won't feel so rushed since the celebration can continue after ship departs.

    That may be an idea for you, to do the formal reception either on land or do embarkation reception on the ship, so everyone can be present for the traditional reception events, then just continue the party after the ship departs with anyone that is able to cruise with you.  So nobody is really missing out on anything, but they have the choice if they want to join for the extended partying on the cruise or not.
    I have a question.  How can you get all of the "reception" part done in 1.5 hours???  Just getting people from ceremony into their seats taks a little while as they stop and chat, and then serving the food takes time.  Unless you are doing a non-meal time cake and punch reception that seems so short a time!
    The cruise wedding has a little bit different format than the typical wedding. Everyone boards the ship between 10:30-11:30am, then the guests all go to buffet area for lunch while bride goes and gets dressed (hair & makeup is done before boarding) & guests can wander around the ship, the wedding ceremony is 1:00-1:30pm, then reception goes until 3:00pm.  At 3pm all non-cruising guests need to get off the ship.  Since everyone ate before the ceremony, the 1.5 hour reception will be hors d'oeuvres, cake, open bar, and dancing.  Then after the ship departs, bride & groom go around with the photographer to get posed wedding photos.  

    image 

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