Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Party
Wedding Party
New Discussion
Options

Family members as bridesmaids...ugh.

JSTexas22JSTexas22 member
First Comment 5 Love Its
in Wedding Party
I having quite the dilemma. It's coming to the point where I'm having to choose my bridesmaids. Ive given it lots of thought, but have come to no conclusion and am dreading actually making the final decision. I have friends, but at this point in my life, I don't feel like I have anyone who is that close to me or is truly supportive. My sister assumes she is going to be my bridesmaid, if not my MOH, when we don't even get along. We live together, yes, but we could not be more opposite. She judges and criticizes every choice I make and thinks I'm ridiculous when really we just have different taste. She makes me miserable and I can't stand being around her for more than an hour, so why would I bring her in as a bridesmaid? My future SIL is 7 years older and we don't even know each other, really. She has no interest in me, so far, but I feel if include my sister, I need to include her. I have asked my finance about not even having a bridal party, but he has 3 groomsmen who he is extremely close to and he wants to have as groomsmen. So basically I have no choice but to choose 3 people. I truly believe a bridesmaid is someone significant in your life who supports you and loves you, not someone out of obligation. What do I do?!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Family members as bridesmaids...ugh.

  • Options
    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    jordanshea22 said:

    I having quite the dilemma. It's coming to the point where I'm having to choose my bridesmaids. Ive given it lots of thought, but have come to no conclusion and am dreading actually making the final decision.

    I have friends, but at this point in my life, I don't feel like I have anyone who is that close to me or is truly supportive. My sister assumes she is going to be my bridesmaid, if not my MOH, when we don't even get along. We live together, yes, but we could not be more opposite. She judges and criticizes every choice I make and thinks I'm ridiculous when really we just have different taste. She makes me miserable and I can't stand being around her for more than an hour, so why would I bring her in as a bridesmaid? My future SIL is 7 years older and we don't even know each other, really. She has no interest in me, so far, but I feel if include my sister, I need to include her.

    I have asked my finance about not even having a bridal party, but he has 3 groomsmen who he is extremely close to and he wants to have as groomsmen. So basically I have no choice but to choose 3 people.

    I truly believe a bridesmaid is someone significant in your life who supports you and loves you, not someone out of obligation. What do I do?!

    You're in luck...it's not a requirement that you have ANY bridesmaids! Your FI can choose whomever he likes (male or female) and so can you!

    One of my wedding regrets, actually, is not having my male friend in my wedding party so we could have things the "traditional" way. (even sides, guys with the groom, ladies with the bride).
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You do not need to chose 3 people to stand on your side.  Throw the whole "even sides" thinking out the window.  You pick who you want and he picks who he wants.  If he wants to ask 3 friends and you want to ask 0 then that is perfectly fine.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    scribe95 said:
    Why do you live with your sister is you hate her so much? I'm sure she would be surprised by your feelings.
    I leapt to the assumption that perhaps OP was currently living at home.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    jordanshea22 said:
    I having quite the dilemma. It's coming to the point where I'm having to choose my bridesmaids. Ive given it lots of thought, but have come to no conclusion and am dreading actually making the final decision. I have friends, but at this point in my life, I don't feel like I have anyone who is that close to me or is truly supportive. My sister assumes she is going to be my bridesmaid, if not my MOH, when we don't even get along. We live together, yes, but we could not be more opposite. She judges and criticizes every choice I make and thinks I'm ridiculous when really we just have different taste. She makes me miserable and I can't stand being around her for more than an hour, so why would I bring her in as a bridesmaid? Ok, then don't ask her. My future SIL is 7 years older and we don't even know each other, really. Then don't ask her. She has no interest in me, so far, but I feel if include my sister, I need to include her. No, you don't. I have asked my finance about not even having a bridal party, but he has 3 groomsmen who he is extremely close to and he wants to have as groomsmen. So basically I have no choice but to choose 3 people.  You do have some choices, actually.  Even sides don't matter one bit.  He can have groomsmen and you can have zero bridesmaids; that is 100% fine.  You could also ask a man to stand on your side, if you are close to one and would like to.  I truly believe a bridesmaid is someone significant in your life who supports you and loves you, not someone out of obligation. I feel the same way.  IMO, if you ask someone to be a bridesmaid, you should do so because you are close to the person and you want them to stand up next to you.  What do I do?!

    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Sides don't need to be even. Pick whoever you want and feel closest to.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:
    You do not need to chose 3 people to stand on your side.  Throw the whole "even sides" thinking out the window.  You pick who you want and he picks who he wants.  If he wants to ask 3 friends and you want to ask 0 then that is perfectly fine.
    Word. You're making this way more difficult than it needs to be. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    JSTexas22JSTexas22 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its
    We are simply "roommates". I can't afford to live on my own, and I help her pay the bills as well. We both have jobs and rarely have to deal with each other except at night.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    JSTexas22JSTexas22 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its
    Who knew not having bridesmaids was so "okay". But After reading yalls comments I guess this is just too personal of a situation to reach out for advice, after all. Thanks everyone!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    dramamonkeydramamonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    jordanshea22 said:
    Who knew not having bridesmaids was so "okay". But After reading yalls comments I guess this is just too personal of a situation to reach out for advice, after all. Thanks everyone!
    OP - you got advice, great advice. There was no harm in asking. You can choose to take it or not, but don't let that scare you away. 

    You can have as few or as many people as you like. Your wedding party doesn't have to be even

    Good luck. 



    As a side note: My FI has 3 GM (one being his dad, one my younger brother, one his 18 y.o. nephew ). I have 4 bridesmaids. 

    We did not ask his sister, his brother, his nieces, or my older brother. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    jordanshea22 said:
    I having quite the dilemma. It's coming to the point where I'm having to choose my bridesmaids. Ive given it lots of thought, but have come to no conclusion and am dreading actually making the final decision. I have friends, but at this point in my life, I don't feel like I have anyone who is that close to me or is truly supportive. My sister assumes she is going to be my bridesmaid, if not my MOH, when we don't even get along. We live together, yes, but we could not be more opposite. She judges and criticizes every choice I make and thinks I'm ridiculous when really we just have different taste. She makes me miserable and I can't stand being around her for more than an hour, so why would I bring her in as a bridesmaid? My future SIL is 7 years older and we don't even know each other, really. She has no interest in me, so far, but I feel if include my sister, I need to include her. I have asked my finance about not even having a bridal party, but he has 3 groomsmen who he is extremely close to and he wants to have as groomsmen. So basically I have no choice but to choose 3 people. I truly believe a bridesmaid is someone significant in your life who supports you and loves you, not someone out of obligation. What do I do?!
    You don't have to choose anyone.  I have been thinking about who I might want to choose, but in all honesty, while I have friends, there really isn't anyone I would ask because they are the kind of people I'd ask to help me hide a body.  We just aren't that close.  If you don't have 3 people like that in your own life, don't sweat it.  You aren't required to have 3 bridesmaids just because your FI plans to have 3 groomsmen-or any bridesmaids at all.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited November 2013
    jordanshea22 said:
    I having quite the dilemma. It's coming to the point where I'm having to choose my bridesmaids. Ive given it lots of thought, but have come to no conclusion and am dreading actually making the final decision. I have friends, but at this point in my life, I don't feel like I have anyone who is that close to me or is truly supportive. My sister assumes she is going to be my bridesmaid, if not my MOH, when we don't even get along. We live together, yes, but we could not be more opposite. She judges and criticizes every choice I make and thinks I'm ridiculous when really we just have different taste. She makes me miserable and I can't stand being around her for more than an hour, so why would I bring her in as a bridesmaid? My future SIL is 7 years older and we don't even know each other, really. She has no interest in me, so far, but I feel if include my sister, I need to include her. I have asked my finance about not even having a bridal party, but he has 3 groomsmen who he is extremely close to and he wants to have as groomsmen. So basically I have no choice but to choose 3 people. I truly believe a bridesmaid is someone significant in your life who supports you and loves you, not someone out of obligation. What do I do?!
    These two statements are completely contradictory. You can have no bridesmaids, three bridesmaids, or more or less. Because "a bridesmaid is someone significant in your life who supports you and loves you, not someone out of obligation."

    ETA: And remember that you have no say in your FI's groomsmen, and NO ONE has a say in yours.



    Anniversary
    image

    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Why do you think you "have" to choose three people?
    Report Reply
  • Options
    SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Agreed- you can choose as many or as little bridesmaids as you like.

    Also, family is not required to be chosen for the WP. So if you do decide to ask your sister, you are not also required to ask FSIL. 
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards