Wedding Etiquette Forum

International / Registry

I am from the US and my fiance is from South Korea. We both live in South Korea now and will be going home in August for our wedding and coming back to South Korea after. I'm wondering what to do about a registry. My mom said not to bother with one, but I know some guests will want to buy something. I'll try to get my friends and family to spread the word to give cash but I don't think everyone will. The problem is that if we register for the things we'd like to get cheaply in the US (A Kitchen-Aid mixer is about 200-300$ more expensive in SoKo) we would still need them to fit into the outlets here. We don't want to lug a bunch of stuff back with us. Any suggestions or advice would be great. Thanks!

Mary

Re: International / Registry

  • I wouldn't register.  If someone wants to give you a boxed gift, then asking for cash only (which can only politely be done by word of mouth, after guests ask for this information) isn't going to stop them from giving you a boxed gift anyway.  If you are given them, I'd arrange for them to be shipped to you from the US, rather than trying to pack them and take them back with you.


  • I wouldn't register, and if guests ask what you want, you could politely mention that due to the differences between the US and SoKo, you'd enjoy cash so you could make your home there. Otherwise, if people buy stuff like house goods, you could get a little adapter thing.

    But I agree with PP, arrange to get any gifts shipped to you. Maybe have your parents ship them?

  • I used to live in Japan, and if shipping cost are anything similar, shipping gifts is not going to be an attractive option.  In many cases, the cost of the shipping would exceed the cost of the gift.  I would hope that most guests would be sensitive enough to realize that heavy/ breakable/ electronic gifts are going to be a terrible idea. But as these boards prove, people are full of surprises!

    I would probably not register, but if you feel that your circle wants to give boxed gifts and will not be denied, I would focus on stuff you have some hope of transporting- table linens, towels, small kitchen tools, and anything you would genuinely want from the US that is hard to find over there.  Or I wonder if there are any Korean stores that do gift registries, that have English language websites?  It looks like Amazon does not have a Korean page, but is there anything similar?

  • I wouldn't register, it doesn't sound like it worth it for anyone in the long run. 
  • Amazon ships to Korea, as far as I know, but you'll have problems with outlets. Most electrical appliances won't fit into outlets in Korea.
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  • Whether the appliances fit the outlets or not is not the problem. Since the household electrical supply in South Korea is 220 volts, and the appliances you buy in North America are designed for 110 volts, even if you get a plug-adapter so that you can plug them in you will get lovely white burning-insulation smoke out of your nice new Kitchenaid mixer within seconds of turning it on.
  • Can you find a registry in Korea that supports on-line sales? So that guests can order and have the gift shipped from a supplier in Korea to your home in Korea? It will help, of course if the registry works in whatever language the majority of your guests speak, but it will ensure that any gifts you get will be compatible with Korean infrastructure.
  • I agree that perhaps you should create a small registry with things like towels and linens that you could easily pack in your suitcase for those who want to give a physical gift, but have family and WP spread that you would prefer cash if they are asked. 

    I would *hope* guests would realize the difficulty of giving you large gifts that you would then have to figure out how to get home and give you cash, but you're right, who knows! At least with a small registry of pack-able items you can try and cover yourself. 
  • Whether the appliances fit the outlets or not is not the problem. Since the household electrical supply in South Korea is 220 volts, and the appliances you buy in North America are designed for 110 volts, even if you get a plug-adapter so that you can plug them in you will get lovely white burning-insulation smoke out of your nice new Kitchenaid mixer within seconds of turning it on.
    You can buy voltage converters that convert from 220 to 110 volts.

    I think that would be a pain in the but to always have to make sure you don't forget to plug your appliances into the converter so I agree with the PPs.  Don't register or just register for things that would be easy to pack and ship and won't break.
  • Do you plan to live in south Korea long term? If not, i wouldn't register as you will not be able to use the electronics and getting everything back to the US will cost as much as buying new. If you plan to be there for a while try and do what ATB said above. I think a lot of people will give you cash based on your living situation. I really give cash, but would if i was attending a wedding for a couple in your situation.
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  • Thanks for your input! Yes, the voltage converters are about the size of a tackle box, so I don't want to have that out on my kitchen counter whenever I use appliances. I will look into Amazon. Maybe they have a registry? The only problem with registering here is that they don't have any of the same stores that we do...and then the currency conversion and the language on the website would be in Korean. Oh well.

    Also, I have another question now that I'm thinking about gifts. I have a few guests coming from all over the US, Canada, even someone from New Zealand and one from Brazil. Would you send a note in the invite telling them to not bother with a gift? I feel bad because they're already spending so much money to come to the wedding. OR, would you just not say anything about it?

    Thanks!

  • Thanks for your input! Yes, the voltage converters are about the size of a tackle box, so I don't want to have that out on my kitchen counter whenever I use appliances. I will look into Amazon. Maybe they have a registry? The only problem with registering here is that they don't have any of the same stores that we do...and then the currency conversion and the language on the website would be in Korean. Oh well.

    Also, I have another question now that I'm thinking about gifts. I have a few guests coming from all over the US, Canada, even someone from New Zealand and one from Brazil. Would you send a note in the invite telling them to not bother with a gift? I feel bad because they're already spending so much money to come to the wedding. OR, would you just not say anything about it?

    Thanks!

    You say nothing whatsoever about gifts.  It's not up to you to decide how other people should spend their money.

    Along the same lines, there is no reason for you to feel guilty because someone traveling long distance gives you a gift.  Again, it's their money to decide what to spend it on.  If they choose to spend it on you, don't try to talk them into taking back their gift or protest that you don't deserve it.  That's demeaning and patronizing to them.
  • simonpetersonsimonpeterson member
    First Comment
    edited November 2013
    Choose an online gift registry, You can access it from anywhere. I had done my registry with our wishing well t is also an online gift registry. It had saved my tome as well as money. I have registered for both gifts and cash so that the guest had also easily bought the things according to their budget and choice.
  • My hubby to be and I both live in the UK (he is from here and I am from Canada) but we are getting married in Canada. I know that a lot of family and friends are very generous and will want to buy us gifts. To avoid them (hopefully) buying us gifts that we then have to ship back and with the issue of electrical things also not working well between the two countries, we are registering at a couple UK departments stores and trying to (politely) tell our guests that if they want to give us a gift to buy off there and have the shop ship to our flat, ship it themselves, or just give us money. I'm trying to make it clear that we aren't expecting a gift, however if they want to bless us with something we'd prefer.... this is just in general conversations and through our wedding site. So far, most people have been really understanding as we've tried to highlight the fact that it's a real practical issue and that buying us a gift to give at the wedding would actually cause us more problems than no gift.

    If you don't register at a site that can ship right to you, then you probably will end up with people buying and giving you things you don't want/need and then having to worry about shipping or ditching the gift.

    Good luck! I hope whatever happens that it works out. :)
  • Do you know if you even need voltage converters? I read that newer appliances now just need the plug adapters (this article was specifically referring to technology, I'm not sure a mixer would count). Sure enough, I checked my cell phone and camera chargers and they both say "100-250 volts", so they can handle anything in between.
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  • Chargers use thyristors to rectify the AC voltage to direct current, and can filter and control the DC output to a standard DC voltage. Your cell phone doesn't even see the 220V main or the 110V main, just the output voltage of the rectifier bridge. Anything that has an on-board battery has to be charged with DC current and therefore might be able to tolerate both voltages.

    Motors, however, present an internal resistance to the voltage which must be sized appropriately to limit the current flowing through the motor armature. With twice the voltage, you get excess current, and the motor burns out. Blenders and stand-mixers are motor-driven appliances.

    Toasters and lights are resistive heaters: with twice the voltage they will draw four times the current, and burn out even faster.
  • erinbethp said:
    My hubby to be and I both live in the UK (he is from here and I am from Canada) but we are getting married in Canada. I know that a lot of family and friends are very generous and will want to buy us gifts. To avoid them (hopefully) buying us gifts that we then have to ship back and with the issue of electrical things also not working well between the two countries, we are registering at a couple UK departments stores and trying to (politely) tell our guests that if they want to give us a gift to buy off there and have the shop ship to our flat, ship it themselves, or just give us money. I'm trying to make it clear that we aren't expecting a gift, however if they want to bless us with something we'd prefer.... this is just in general conversations and through our wedding site. So far, most people have been really understanding as we've tried to highlight the fact that it's a real practical issue and that buying us a gift to give at the wedding would actually cause us more problems than no gift.

    If you don't register at a site that can ship right to you, then you probably will end up with people buying and giving you things you don't want/need and then having to worry about shipping or ditching the gift.

    Good luck! I hope whatever happens that it works out. :)
    Thanks so much! You and I are in the same boat! I wish I could register here, but in Korea people don't register for gifts. They only give envelopes of cash. Ha! So, stores here don't have registries. Word-of-mouth works. I'll also write something tactful on the wedding website too. When is your wedding? Ours is this August in the US and April in Korea. I really can't wait! Fun times.
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