Gay Weddings

Bride/Groom/Husband/Wife/Fiance': What Language Are Folks Using?

I'm not using the word bride nor groom to describe myself. I'll never will feel right about being called a wife, but husband doesn't feel right either...

I'm interested to learn about what language other LGBTQ couples are using to describe themselves (to each other & to the external world).

Re: Bride/Groom/Husband/Wife/Fiance': What Language Are Folks Using?

  • I am a wife, because that feels right to me. My partner is still "partner", because we haven't found a better term. 
  • For us... we are calling each other "wife" after the wedding. For wedding planning purposes we decided on Bride and Groomette! I was playing when I said it but she fell in love with the idea.... So, we kept it!

    But it really is about whatever you all feel when you think about yourselves as a couple, and try not to let what the outside world thinks about it hinder your perception!  

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  • My fiance and I like calling each other fiance and groom. More likely, we'll call each other husband (much better than spouse imho). In terms of our wedding party, though, we don't use bridesmaid, bridal, or even groomsmen. We call members of our party "honored attendants."

    Sunday, May 18, 2014 - Baltimore, Maryland

    "Each time you love, love as deeply as if it were forever" - Audre Lorde

  • On paperwork we needed to complete that wasn't "updated" I was the Bride she was the Groom.  BUT- we called each other Brides and now we are each a Wife. 

    Call each other whatever you feel most comfortable with and let everyone else deal with YOUR decision!!  :-)

  • We are each other's wives, and at the wedding, we were both brides.  For paperwork purposes in Massachusetts, she was Party A and I was Party B.
  • We are both brides, and will be wives.
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  • My partner and I have taken to "boy-wife" and "girl-husband" (I'm the boy-wife).
  • For the florist in NH the woman did Bride 1 and Bride 2. I consider myself to be the bride and my fiance doesn't label herself. I call the girls on myside of the wedding party Bridesmaids and the guy Bridesman.

    I'm not sure how I want to introduce us when the JP says, "I know pronouce you..." I'm thinking Mrs. & Mrs. ______ (last name), or _____ & _____ (first names)  _____ (last name)

  • For the florist in NH the woman did Bride 1 and Bride 2. I consider myself to be the bride and my fiance doesn't label herself. I call the girls on myside of the wedding party Bridesmaids and the guy Bridesman.

    I'm not sure how I want to introduce us when the JP says, "I know pronouce you..." I'm thinking Mrs. & Mrs. ______ (last name), or _____ & _____ (first names)  _____ (last name)

    We just did "Ladies and Gentlement, I'd like you to welcome the newly married happy couple [first name] & [first name] [last name].


     

  • A few times we've met with consultants (fully informed ahead of time that we are a lesbian couple) who would ask "Which one of you is the bride?" in hopes of assigning certain roles, most often which one to direct most of the questions to. My answer was always "We are both the brides." I am femme and my fiancée is butch, however she is planning the wedding with some of my input. I'd be just as happy eloping, but a wedding is what she wants and so it's what she gets. And after we are married, I'll be her wife, and she'll be my wife. We never really had the discussion about what we would be calling each other, we both just assumed the same way. We had a relative ask us if, after we were married, I would call her my husband. I laughed out loud before I could think not to, because it just doesn't suit us. It's wife & wife for us, but for each couple it will be different!

  • We were always girlfriends, and we are currently fiancees, and we've not spoken about these two, but I imagine we will be brides and wives. But obviously it's very personal.

    As for being introduced, we're being introduced by first names only, since we are both keeping our own names and we will have different titles (I should be Dr. by then, and she'll be Mrs).
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  • We've used "partner" since our commitment ceremony 12 years ago. We're both considering ourselves brides. After 15 years together, I'm counting down the days (49) until I can call her my wife!

    I am not sure about the pronouncement by the officiant or how we will be introduced at the reception. We're not changing our names but I have to admit that it would be funny to be introduced as Dr. and Mrs. (She has her PhD).


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  • sddivasddiva member
    First Comment
    I'm partial to partner
  • I only use "partner" in certain professional settings (like when we were apartment hunting). Now, we call each other fiancee, though sometimes we still say girlfriend since it's so new. We both consider ourselves brides, though I will be wearing a dress and she would prefer to wear a suit/tux. Once we are married, we'll consider ourselves each other's wife and label ourselves as such. Although, reading through these responses, I really did quite like "Groomette" lol!
  • Regarding the pronouncement, I will be requesting "I now pronounce you partners for life."

    After the ceremony, I'd prefer to keep calling her my partner but she really wants to embrace the traditional language since we will be legally married.  So we'll be wives, I guess!  We're definitely both brides, but we jokingly fight over who's the groom.  It's funny, really.  
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  • DelenJDelenJ member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I think we will be going with wife and partner. I love the idea of being called someone's wife but she would have a complete fit over it.
  • We both like wife, so that's what we'll be. And we both use bride now, it works for us. I rarely say partner. It makes me feel like I'm trying to be a cowboy or something.
  • jakeiafjakeiaf member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    I refer to my fiance as just that. Once we are married I will refer to her as my wife. And she will refer to me as her wife.



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  • We currently use Partner, as we just don't like boyfriend... But I am going to use husband when we are married.  Especially here in Australia, as partner is also used by straight couples, I prefer to say my husband..... so it doesn't leave anyone guessing :)
  • We say wife. I like her finally being my wife and my being her wife.
  • we don't like "partner" because it's sounds like we're in business together.

    I personally don't like 'lover", its a very dated term that seems to imply we are just having sex and nothing else.

    Right now we call each other our "fiance".  When we marry we plan on calling each other husband.

  • it was boyfriends, partners, now fiancés & in Jan husbands :)
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