Gay Weddings

XP:enGAYgement

I am going to ask my girlfriend to marry me in the next couple of months. Here is where my dilemma is. I am not 'out' to all of my family. I am only out to my immediate family, think parents and siblings. I do plan on talking to my grandparents soon. Do I need to call all my aunts, uncles, cousins, ect? Is there any etiquette for this? I would love some other opinions on this.

Re: XP:enGAYgement

  • sdg2502sdg2502 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    When I came out, I had far too much going on in my head to worry about etiquette so I never told my aunts and uncles, however I have a large family and count all my cousins as my best friends so once I told them, they told their parents.
    In your situation it's clearly different when your in a happy and stable relationship. How close are you to aunts and uncles? I'm not sure what I'd advise in this situation. On one hand, it sucks that you have to tell them anything and can't just announce your engaged to a wonderful woman, on the other the stress of telling them looming over you might impose on you being able to enjoy the occasion as much as you would.
    For that reason, I'd probably come out to them first, just so your mind is clear and stress free. Congratulations, and good luck! I'm sure other people can offer better advice but please keep us updated!
    Knottie21306100
  • I sent a picture with "we are getting married" on it to my grandparents that live far away and don't talk to. I didn't want them to feel out of the loop. Also save the dates help! Good luck!



  • I had the exact same problem. I told my closest family members, and then sent the video of my proposal to everyone else. That way people didn't feel like I was "hiding" it from them...but also i did not have to stress and could focus on me and my fiance
  • Me and my fiancé were not out to our extended family when we got engaged. But we decided to announce it not as coming out, but matter of factly like any other couple would do. We have not gotten any negative feedback from this approach. We figured if we don't talk to them regularly, why make a special awkward call.
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    [Deleted User]Iskgirl84
  • The first call I made was to a close uncle asking him if he would be present at our wedding. He knew I dated women but not all family members were aware. I told him, just to verify that he knew it was a woman, his response? He cut me off. Asked me what I was doing.... Explaining myself!?!? I was very happy to hear that. He told me as I called the rest of my family to talk to them and if they asked questions be honest but don't explain. It's not for me to explain. Our love will do that. So I have told all my aunts and uncles about the wedding not many asked questions but if they do it will be after they receive the save the dates. I wouldn't feel the need to come out. It's kind of like my uncle said.... Why am I explaining. Heterosexuals don't invite us to their hetero wedding. BUT your family will probably out you to each other as they find out :)
    Iskgirl84
  • sddivasddiva member
    First Comment
    edited May 2014
    I sent a text to my family ..quick and dirty..no negative responses
  • So.....how'd it go? lol

    C&C

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Well as it turned out, my mom had already to talked to most of my family. She has been really nice and bringing it up to family and friends. It alleviates a lot of stress for my because it still makes me anxious to tell people. My now fiancee and I just attended our first big family function together and it went okay. No one really asked, or looked confused when I introduced her. Silly me, worrying for nothing. Thanks everyone for your advice and suggestions.
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