Timeline help

Re: Timeline help

• monkeysip member

  

  November 2013

  Our ceremony was 2:00pm, and ended a few minutes after 3 (full nuptial mass--but also relatively small.  A long communion line can eat up time!).  Our reception wasn't actually set to open until 3:45 (15 minutes away), but it wasn't an issue because most people stuck around the church chatting at least until 3:30, and those that went earlier were let in anyways.  Reception ran from 3:45 to 9 (but we didn't make our entrance until around 4:45).  

  
  

  I think it went well.  We had cocktails/appetizers starting at 3:45, dinner around 5:30, cake around 7.  

  You could do something similar (maybe reception starting at 3:30).  Ask your priest for advice on how long your nuptial masses usually last.  I know it's not a *true* evening reception, but as long as you have good food, drinks, and music, people will have fun, don't worry!  It's MUCH better than making them wait until later in the evening!  Having a gap is really inconvenient to a lot of guests.

  
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• lalaith50 member

  

  November 2013

  In some circles, due to the issue of Catholic weddings not being able to start after 2 pm b/c they would interfere with the evening Mass, people are accustomed to an hour or two of a break between the ceremony and reception. Our timeline was something like wedding at 2, people probably hung around til 3:30, cocktails at 5, bridal party arrived at 6. In our case, pretty much everyone was either from in town and could go home between the ceremony and reception, or else they were from out of town and could go check in at the hotel where they were staying (which was also where the reception was.) Very few people would have had "nothing" to do.

  
  

  When I've been to weddings like this, we usually just find a group of friends and go out to a bar for a bit. Recently I was at a wedding where they hosted drinks and snacks at a restaurant - I was actually surprised how many people *weren't* there - clearly the vast majority of guests had no trouble finding something to do. Or, I know sometimes the couple will hire a bus or something to take the out-of-town guests around town on a little tour or something during the break.

  

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• professorscience member

  

  November 2013

  We also left our reception at 9 (for a wedding at 2, no gap).  Afterward, my ILs threw a party at their hotel for the "adults," while the "kids" went to a bar we loved and then a party at the home of one of our friends (we were exhausted and skipped the party).

  

  
  

  
  

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• ceruse member

  

  November 2013

  Thanks so much for all of the feedback everyone — it is extremely helpful!
  
  I don't have a Catholic background; I went through RCIA and was confirmed in May 2011. Actually, my own wedding will be the first Catholic wedding I have ever attended! Luckily, my very Italian mother-in-law is a great resource and works at our church so I know it will be beautiful.
  
  All that is to say, this is all very new to me and I'm just trying to figure it out. Thank you!
  

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• agapecarrie member

  

  November 2013

  Before coming here, I had never even heard of a wedding without a "gap". It's the most common thing in my area and especially in my family. For us, it should be substantial enough of a gap to go do "something" but not too long. In fact, it would be rude to not have enough time in between. So, a 2 pm wedding with a 6 pm reception is perfect, because weddings are all day affairs. People plan for them that way. The time in between is spent going to get a drink with friends and family you haven't seen for awhile. 

  
  

  But since I read up on here, some areas it is seen as really rude. (its the opposite where I am). I think it would be good to get a sense of what your circles expect. 

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• Tami87 member

  

  November 2013

  We got married in same area Carrie is from and gaps are what H's family is used to. So we did the 2pm church ceremony and 6pm reception. I honestly didn't know gaps were so hated and considered rude by some until I started posting more on the knot and by that time the church and reception were already booked. I have been to weddings with and without gaps and it doesn't bother me either way. We usually have friends we can head to a bar with or catch up with in between. Or just go check in at the hotel. This is probably an unpopular opinion but it bothers me more when I have to wait more than an hour (with little to no food) after arriving at the reception because the wedding party got delayed with pictures. I much prefer a scheduled break than sitting around wondering when the bride and groom will arrive.
  
  Because I started to feel really bad about the gap and half our guest list was form out of town we ended up renting a room at the hotel and hosted snacks and drinks for anyone who wanted a place to go during the gap. That worked well for us. And I even got a few comments from family friends how it was so nice to get to catch up with my mom before the reception and of course anyone who hated the gap was polite enough not to say anything to us. But you know your friends and family and what they are accustomed to better than us. Because the gap allowed plenty of time for pictures we also made a point of attending the entire cocktail hour and greeted guests and thanked everyone for coming as they arrived at the reception site.
  

  

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• ceruse member

  

  November 2013

  CatholicWife13 — Thank you! I have been following this board a long time actually, just not speaking up because I wasn't officially engaged yet. My fiance and I have been together for 8.5 years, so this wedding has been a long time coming. The discussions on here were the first introduction I had to Catholicism, Engaged Encounter, NFP and so many other things!
  
  My fiance's family probably wouldn't blink at the gap — his mom had to think very hard about the weddings she's been to before she even realized there was a gap. But my family and a lot of our friends wouldn't be used to it.
  
  I have thought about providing a place for people to gather during that time, but we have a reception venue that is available to us the entire day. It has two stories, and I was planning to host the cocktail hour upstairs and then everyone will come down for dinner. It is an awesome space. So if they need a place to gather, I figure they can go ahead and mingle with drinks and snacks there after the Mass.
  
  I think that if we don't have a gap, then we could serve dinner at 5 or 5:30 it will work out fine.
  

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