Special meals?

kitty8403 · November 2013

Where do you all draw the line on making special accommodations? We found a caterer who appears to be a great option. Quote was for buffet-style setup--guests can fix their own plates.
I anticipate the possibility of hosting up to maybe 8-10 vegetarian or vegan guests (out of about 300 invitees). Adding a vegan entree to the menu will cost roughly $3-4 extra per head for ALL guests. Our caterer suggested making all of our sides vegan instead. (I plan to make accommodations with dessert and hors d'oeuvres as well.) Is that a sufficient compromise, or do we need to pay the extra $1,000 or so it would cost to add a vegan entree as well?

grumbledore · November 2013

I'd be finding a new caterer. Charging extra for everyone for 8 special meals is a blatant ripoff.

HisGirlFriday13 · November 2013

Ditto @grumbledore.

But to answer your other question, depending on what your side are, yes, that would be fine. Essentially, vegan meal options on a large scale are typically just 'sides' made into a meal.

But try to find another caterer first.

tesskerr · November 2013

As a vegetarian myself, I would be pretty happy. As long as one of the sides had some carbs (pasta salad?) and one had some protein (chickpea/lentil/rice type salad?) and there were a few other yummy things, it would be fine.

I hate when the sides COULD be vege, but are not, eg. bacon bits in the pasta salad.

mrs4everhart · November 2013

I have to agree with the PP's - look at other catering options if for no other reason than to see what other caterers would charge for the same setup. Attempt to accommodate your special needs guests up to a certain degree. I like the idea of vegetarian and vegan sides. I also like the idea of very detailed description cards at each station on the buffet. That way your guests can make informed choices without your going overboard with special items just for them. I put together a buffet menu for a client around this time last year. It got out of hand really quickly. She had some vegetarians. Then a few vegans. Then a couple gluten-free folks. A handful of gluten-free vegans. And finally some dairy allergic vegetarians for good measure. This is an extreme example but it puts the old "give an inch" warning in perspective. Your buffet will hopefully be no one's last meal - make sure the majority will enjoy and treat the minority fairly without loosing your mind!

tigersgirlgv · November 2013

I was at a wedding recently with a buffet, but the staff brought out prepared plates for those with dietary restrictions. Might this be an option so that you don't have to spend extra money to put a vegetarian entree on the buffet?

jessicabessica · November 2013

kitty8403 said:

Where do you all draw the line on making special accommodations? We found a caterer who appears to be a great option. Quote was for buffet-style setup--guests can fix their own plates. I anticipate the possibility of hosting up to maybe 8-10 vegetarian or vegan guests (out of about 300 invitees). Adding a vegan entree to the menu will cost roughly $3-4 extra per head for ALL guests. Our caterer suggested making all of our sides vegan instead. (I plan to make accommodations with dessert and hors d'oeuvres as well.) Is that a sufficient compromise, or do we need to pay the extra $1,000 or so it would cost to add a vegan entree as well?

What is your menu? It's hard to say whether sides only would be sufficient without knowing what they are. How many entrees are on your buffet? Can you swap one for the vegan one for no extra cost?

misssunshine17 · November 2013

I second finding a new caterer. That is complete bullshit. Would they serve something brought in from somewhere else? I had four special plates and they told me if I provided the food, they would serve it, or else it would have been pretty pricey for me. Sounds like your caterer is a ripoff.

CTYankeeBride · November 2013

I would save yourself the 3-4$ pp to add an additional entree. Be sure the vegan side offerings are substantial enough that vegan guests could make an actual meal out of them. Vegan guests can eat pasta as an entree, while non-vegan guests can have it as a side dish for example. As pp suggested, see if you can swap one of the planned non-vegan entrees for a vegan entree and keep the same pricing. If you plan on having these guests make a meal out of the side offerings, just be sure that the side offerings that they can enjoy are more than a slice of bread and a garden salad.

If your caterer would be charging you 3-4$ pp to add another entree for all guests whether the entree is vegan or not, this isn't a ripoff. For instance, if adding a beef entree to the chicken and pork entrees you already planned were 3-4$ pp then that's simply the cost of adding an extra entree (which I would not do). Now, if there's some special "vegan meal upcharge" you'd be paying either way, then I would look for another caterer.

kitty8403 · November 2013

jessicabessica said:

kitty8403 said:

Where do you all draw the line on making special accommodations? We found a caterer who appears to be a great option. Quote was for buffet-style setup--guests can fix their own plates.
I anticipate the possibility of hosting up to maybe 8-10 vegetarian or vegan guests (out of about 300 invitees). Adding a vegan entree to the menu will cost roughly $3-4 extra per head for ALL guests. Our caterer suggested making all of our sides vegan instead. (I plan to make accommodations with dessert and hors d'oeuvres as well.) Is that a sufficient compromise, or do we need to pay the extra $1,000 or so it would cost to add a vegan entree as well?

What is your menu? It's hard to say whether sides only would be sufficient without knowing what they are. How many entrees are on your buffet? Can you swap one for the vegan one for no extra cost?

She quotes by the number of main dishes. So adding any extra main dish, regardless of whether or not it is vegetarian friendly, is an extra cost. I see her point; it means extra work for her crew and more chafing dishes, so I'm not necessarily offended by that. The quote included a few sides (which we can customize) and hors d'oeuvres. I am also working on quotes for a dessert table with diet-friendly options.

RedJacks25 · November 2013

Keep in mind that everything that's vegetarian is not necessarily vegan, but everything that's vegan is vegetarian.

So if you used pasta salad, for example, it might not be vegan as there could be eggs used in creating the noodles.

If you're uncertain how many guests are vegan and how many are vegetarian, I would personally err on the side of caution and have the dishes be vegan instead of vegetarian.

MandyMost · November 2013

Can you replace one of your existing planned main dishes with a vegan option, instead of adding an additional main dish?

kitty8403 · November 2013

MandyMost said:
Can you replace one of your existing planned main dishes with a vegan option, instead of adding an additional main dish?

That's pretty much what I'm asking--if it's necessary, etiquette-wise, for us to do that. The base price we were given covers one entree. Adding any main dish other than that is the extra charge. I can budget for two main dishes at that price. There are no vegetarian main dishes on her standard menu, so we'd have to come up with something and customize the order. I don't know how fair it is to our other guests to only give one protein choice though. (ETA: FI wants beef, so if we went that route, the options would be either vegan or red meat. O.o) Or maybe we should just stick to the single entree and avoid the expense of multiple choices.
I have talked to another caterer but our area is rural and options are relatively limited. So just concerned whether not paying for an extra vegan entree is discriminatory or otherwise rude.
I don't think they do special plates with a buffet, but I suppose we could ask about that also.

kitty8403 · November 2013

RedJacks25 said:
Keep in mind that everything that's vegetarian is not necessarily vegan, but everything that's vegan is vegetarian.

So if you used pasta salad, for example, it might not be vegan as there could be eggs used in creating the noodles.

If you're uncertain how many guests are vegan and how many are vegetarian, I would personally err on the side of caution and have the dishes be vegan instead of vegetarian.

The vegan group has been known to eat vegetarian when they are dining out or traveling, but I agree with you; I'd prefer to just have the vegetarian choices be vegan and eliminate that headache.

RedJacks25 · November 2013

kitty8403 said:

Keep in mind that everything that's vegetarian is not necessarily vegan, but everything that's vegan is vegetarian.

So if you used pasta salad, for example, it might not be vegan as there could be eggs used in creating the noodles.

If you're uncertain how many guests are vegan and how many are vegetarian, I would personally err on the side of caution and have the dishes be vegan instead of vegetarian.
The vegan group has been known to eat vegetarian when they are dining out or traveling, but I agree with you; I'd prefer to just have the vegetarian choices be vegan and eliminate that headache.

I'm not vegan, but I'm friends with a group of them. I've never known any of them to stop eating vegan just because they're at a restaurant that only offers vegetarian dishes. They'd rather not eat.

mysticl · November 2013

RedJacks25 said:

kitty8403 said:

Keep in mind that everything that's vegetarian is not necessarily vegan, but everything that's vegan is vegetarian.

So if you used pasta salad, for example, it might not be vegan as there could be eggs used in creating the noodles.

If you're uncertain how many guests are vegan and how many are vegetarian, I would personally err on the side of caution and have the dishes be vegan instead of vegetarian.
The vegan group has been known to eat vegetarian when they are dining out or traveling, but I agree with you; I'd prefer to just have the vegetarian choices be vegan and eliminate that headache.

I'm not vegan, but I'm friends with a group of them. I've never known any of them to stop eating vegan just because they're at a restaurant that only offers vegetarian dishes. They'd rather not eat.

It depends on the person. I have a friend who is vegan. However, when she has to go to conventions/conferences she just requests vegetarian instead of vegan.

kitty8403 · November 2013

RedJacks25 said:

kitty8403 said:

RedJacks25 said:
Keep in mind that everything that's vegetarian is not necessarily vegan, but everything that's vegan is vegetarian.

So if you used pasta salad, for example, it might not be vegan as there could be eggs used in creating the noodles.

If you're uncertain how many guests are vegan and how many are vegetarian, I would personally err on the side of caution and have the dishes be vegan instead of vegetarian.

The vegan group has been known to eat vegetarian when they are dining out or traveling, but I agree with you; I'd prefer to just have the vegetarian choices be vegan and eliminate that headache.

I'm not vegan, but I'm friends with a group of them. I've never known any of them to stop eating vegan just because they're at a restaurant that only offers vegetarian dishes. They'd rather not eat.

Oh no. But if you're away from home and no other choices, it depends on the individual. I know some vegans who are religious and so yes, they wouldn't eat at all. This particular group is more the health nut category--they do it because they think it's a healthier lifestyle, so their attitudes are a little more pragmatic and flexible--to them, eating vegetarian is more like other people eating junk food. Either way, like I said, I'd rather just accommodate somehow.

SP29 · November 2013

I think as long as you have enough sides you should be OK. Choose sides that are appropriate for all, if you can. Offer sides like rice/potatoes/pasta (vegan), vegetables, and a grain if you can.

huskypuppy14 · November 2013

kitty8403 said:

Can you replace one of your existing planned main dishes with a vegan option, instead of adding an additional main dish?
That's pretty much what I'm asking--if it's necessary, etiquette-wise, for us to do that. The base price we were given covers one entree. Adding any main dish other than that is the extra charge. I can budget for two main dishes at that price. There are no vegetarian main dishes on her standard menu, so we'd have to come up with something and customize the order. I don't know how fair it is to our other guests to only give one protein choice though. (ETA: FI wants beef, so if we went that route, the options would be either vegan or red meat. O.o) Or maybe we should just stick to the single entree and avoid the expense of multiple choices. I have talked to another caterer but our area is rural and options are relatively limited. So just concerned whether not paying for an extra vegan entree is discriminatory or otherwise rude. I don't think they do special plates with a buffet, but I suppose we could ask about that also.

My opinion is you shouldn't have red meat be your only option (even if you didn't have vegan guests), so you should have a vegan/vegetarian option in addition. I find it weird that they won't accommodate a handful of special dishes, for no cost. Is the venue the ones catering? If not can you just bring in a separate caterer to do the special meals?

jessicabessica · November 2013

So you don't want to have only one protein option for your meat-eaters, but you're ok with having 8-10 of your guests have no protein option at all? I don't think it's the rudest thing in the world to expect your veg guests to eat sides only, but it's not proper hosting to serve them green beans, mashed potatoes, and rolls, IMO. Make your other entree breaded eggplant over pasta (like a vegan eggplant parm) or some other veg option with mass appeal.

kitty8403 · November 2013

jessicabessica said:
So you don't want to have only one protein option for your meat-eaters, but you're ok with having 8-10 of your guests have no protein option at all? I don't think it's the rudest thing in the world to expect your veg guests to eat sides only, but it's not proper hosting to serve them green beans, mashed potatoes, and rolls, IMO. Make your other entree breaded eggplant over pasta (like a vegan eggplant parm) or some other veg option with mass appeal.

I guess I phrased that badly. I'd prefer to simply have one entree, not two, because of the expense. Beef is controversial enough that if we're going to spring for a second choice, I'd prefer to offer a different protein. More people will eat it and appreciate it. I feel ridiculous paying an extra grand to accommodate a maximum of like 8-10 non-meat eaters though. It seems like the best option is three choices--but that is not in my budget.

kitty8403 · November 2013

laurynm84 said:

kitty8403 said:

Can you replace one of your existing planned main dishes with a vegan option, instead of adding an additional main dish?

That's pretty much what I'm asking--if it's necessary, etiquette-wise, for us to do that. The base price we were given covers one entree. Adding any main dish other than that is the extra charge. I can budget for two main dishes at that price. There are no vegetarian main dishes on her standard menu, so we'd have to come up with something and customize the order. I don't know how fair it is to our other guests to only give one protein choice though. (ETA: FI wants beef, so if we went that route, the options would be either vegan or red meat. O.o) Or maybe we should just stick to the single entree and avoid the expense of multiple choices.
I have talked to another caterer but our area is rural and options are relatively limited. So just concerned whether not paying for an extra vegan entree is discriminatory or otherwise rude.
I don't think they do special plates with a buffet, but I suppose we could ask about that also.

My opinion is you shouldn't have red meat be your only option (even if you didn't have vegan guests), so you should have a vegan/vegetarian option in addition. I find it weird that they won't accommodate a handful of special dishes, for no cost. Is the venue the ones catering? If not can you just bring in a separate caterer to do the special meals?

I find it weird that anybody would expect a food service professional to do extra work for free. I totally get where she is coming from.
The venue is not the one catering. Maybe your idea of bringing in a second caterer for just a few meals would work. Most brides, I think, would not typically have that option because of contract exclusions, but I know she has some wiggle room in hers for outside food/drinks.

huskypuppy14 · November 2013

kitty8403 said:

kitty8403 said:

Can you replace one of your existing planned main dishes with a vegan option, instead of adding an additional main dish?
That's pretty much what I'm asking--if it's necessary, etiquette-wise, for us to do that. The base price we were given covers one entree. Adding any main dish other than that is the extra charge. I can budget for two main dishes at that price. There are no vegetarian main dishes on her standard menu, so we'd have to come up with something and customize the order. I don't know how fair it is to our other guests to only give one protein choice though. (ETA: FI wants beef, so if we went that route, the options would be either vegan or red meat. O.o) Or maybe we should just stick to the single entree and avoid the expense of multiple choices. I have talked to another caterer but our area is rural and options are relatively limited. So just concerned whether not paying for an extra vegan entree is discriminatory or otherwise rude. I don't think they do special plates with a buffet, but I suppose we could ask about that also.

My opinion is you shouldn't have red meat be your only option (even if you didn't have vegan guests), so you should have a vegan/vegetarian option in addition. I find it weird that they won't accommodate a handful of special dishes, for no cost. Is the venue the ones catering? If not can you just bring in a separate caterer to do the special meals?
I find it weird that anybody would expect a food service professional to do extra work for free. I totally get where she is coming from. The venue is not the one catering. Maybe your idea of bringing in a second caterer for just a few meals would work. Most brides, I think, would not typically have that option because of contract exclusions, but I know she has some wiggle room in hers for outside food/drinks.

I agree, but I was trying to answer your question. I meant no cost above the amount of the food, obviously. Pretty much all the venues I looked at said Vegan/Vegetarian were no additional cost for all guests if it was below 10%. Like you could have 1 or 2 entrees for 80 dollars a person, and then vegetarian were no extra cost. But if you wanted chicken, fish, and beef as entree choices then that was an extra 3 dollars per guest. Obviously you still have to pay per person. I didn't look at any caterers separate from venue though. For your situation I would have 2 main dishes, 1 being vegan, there are plenty of people that don't eat red meat.

phira · November 2013

So, I'm going to agree with a lot of other posters and say: You probably want to find another caterer.

I'd start with trying to work with the caterer and see if there's any way you can reduce the cost. Maybe offer to supply the food yourself.

But it really sounds like these people are being inflexible because it's easier for them and more profitable. Our venue (which does our catering) charges for split entrees (small fee per person for two options, somewhat larger fee per person for three). We're paying for the 2-way split, and then as long as children's meals and vegan meals are less than 10% of the final count, we don't have to pay for the 3-way split.

Additionally, they have PLENTY of vegetarian and vegan options. We'll have to customize our vegan entree (we're trying to make all of the entrees gluten-free), but we're not being charged extra.

Plus ... focus on being a good host. Everyone's enjoying their delicious entree, and your vegan friends don't even get a full meal? A friend of mine, who's the world's pickiest gluten-free vegetarian, went to a wedding where the father of the bride basically stole the vegetarian entree that was supposed to be for her (long story). All the caterer had for her to eat was a baked potato. Needless to say, she didn't have a great time at that reception.

CTYankeeBride · November 2013

If 3 entrees are not in your budget you still have options.

Option one: pick a vegan and a non-vegan entree. Non-vegans will still eat the vegan entree. At the last wedding I went to, there were non-vegetarian guests wishing they knew there was a vegetarian alternative pasta dish and would have gladly skipped the chicken or beef in favor of that. I do agree with pp's about the non-vegan entree not being red meat. I understand FI wanting red meat as an option but the idea here is that you have to please your guests.

Option two: Choose two non-vegan entrees and make sure that the side dishes can be combined to constitute a meal similar to what non-vegan guests are eating. Offering a side dish of green beans and rice and expecting even those 8-10 guests to make a meal out of that would be rude. Quinoa is a great protein source, as is broccoli, and beans- if your caterer has experience with vegan catering they should have suggestions.

kitty8403 · November 2013

Thanks guys. I guess I'll try talking to her again about accommodations and if they won't budge, I can special order X number of vegan entrees from somewhere else.

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