Wedding Invitations & Paper

STDs - To whom do we send?

Are we supposed to send STDs to everyone invited to the wedding, or should we mostly send the to out of towners & people who might be making other plans?

I mean, my immediate family and grandparents live close and are of course coming, but FI does have cousins out of state that he's not super super close to (they were as kids, but grew up and moved away), but we would like to be there if they can make it.  We JUST set our date, and it turned out to be Good Friday.  (We didn't realize that at first!)  So we know we need to send them out right away so people can decide if they want to travel for our wedding or make local Easter plans.

I'm just not sure if we should send them TO the locals, who will almost certainly attend anyway.

Re: STDs - To whom do we send?

  • Send save the dates to anyone you KNOW you will invite to the wedding.  If there is someone you think you will invite, but aren't sure, I would hold off on sending the STD.  Also, be sure to send one to anyone who has to travel. You send the save the dates to close friends and family who you may know they will be there (i.e. parents, family, bridal party...).  It's more of a courtesy thing.  
  • I think if I were going to send STD's, I would send them to everyone I planned on inviting to the wedding (BTW, if you send someone an STD you have to send them an invitation).
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  • At this point, our guest list is not "complete," as in, we have written down family and closest friends which we WILL invite, and we are still discussing things like co-workers, neighbors, etc.  We just want to make sure the out of town family has plenty of advance warning, since our wedding is Easter weekend.

    I expect if we don't to STDs and wait till 6 weeks out, they will have made Easter plans and decline to come to the wedding.  They may, regardless, but enough advance warning might make it possible for some to attend.

    Should we send the STDs to all those "musts" that we have on the list now?  I'd like to get them out by the end of this month.  None of them will be cut from the list!  Or is that still too A-list/B-list?  All of the invitations will be sent at the same time, probably in late February.

    There are definitely no out-of-towners in the "to be decided" group, it's the local, more casual-to-friendly relationships we're still considering.  (Full disclosure: we've been engaged 2 weeks, booked our venue 2 days ago, but we're concerned since realizing that it's Easter weekend.  Before that, I wasn't really considering save the dates.)
  • We are going to send STDs to family and to out of town VIPs/friends who are at least 100 miles away. Everybody else, I think, we can wait till spring or give a verbal heads up if we are sure they'll be invited.
  • We will be having approximately 200 people attend our wedding.  We wanted to save costs at any place that we could, so we opted to only send STD's to our out of town guests and then really close family and friends.  We ended up sending only 60 out, and I am happy with this decision. Sending STD's out is not a requirement, but all of my family is coming from far away, so I knew they should have one so that they could make travel arrangements.

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