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Invites three months out?

eideckereidecker member
First Comment
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Hello! I am hoping I can get some invite timing advice for a weird situation. We are having our wedding where all 60 members of my FI family lives. This will be about a 8 hour drive for us. It will be about a 3-6 hour flight to a very "destination" city for the other 60 members of our guest list (my family who is all over the country). I was thinking of sending out invites December 7th for a March 8th wedding because it is a far distance to a popular city and almost destination like in that regard for about half of our guests. The RSVP date would be Feb. 1st as we need our final count Feb 8th. Would this work in this scenario? My concern with sending them out in December is its annoying for local guests and my concern with sending them out in January is the flight and hotel booking situation for the out of towners. Thanks!
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Re: Invites three months out?

  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Perhaps you could remedy this with Save The Dates with hotel block info and any other travel info OOT guests would need. 3 months out is too early to send the actual invites. :)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • eideckereidecker member
    First Comment
    We sent out save the dates at the six month out mark but my aunts have told us "we would never book flights or hotel rooms without a formal invitation to the wedding" I have no idea why they have that school to thought and it certainly complicated the matters but thanks for your reply!!
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    eidecker said:
    Hello! I am hoping I can get some invite timing advice for a weird situation. We are having our wedding where all 60 members of my FI family lives. This will be about a 8 hour drive for us. It will be about a 3-6 hour flight to a very "destination" city for the other 60 members of our guest list (my family who is all over the country). I was thinking of sending out invites December 7th for a March 8th wedding because it is a far distance to a popular city and almost destination like in that regard for about half of our guests. The RSVP date would be Feb. 1st as we need our final count Feb 8th. Would this work in this scenario? My concern with sending them out in December is its annoying for local guests and my concern with sending them out in January is the flight and hotel booking situation for the out of towners. Thanks!
    Why do you need the RSVPs back over a month before the wedding?
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  • eideckereidecker member
    First Comment
    Unfortunately that is what our venue requires for the final payment and food count 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    eidecker said:
    We sent out save the dates at the six month out mark but my aunts have told us "we would never book flights or hotel rooms without a formal invitation to the wedding" I have no idea why they have that school to thought and it certainly complicated the matters but thanks for your reply!!
    Well, then that is on them. They know they are invited since they received the STD so it is their choice to wait until they receive a formal invite to book their travel.

    I would send your invites out at the 2 month mark.

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  • eideckereidecker member
    First Comment
    That is a good point! Thanks!
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:
    eidecker said:
    We sent out save the dates at the six month out mark but my aunts have told us "we would never book flights or hotel rooms without a formal invitation to the wedding" I have no idea why they have that school to thought and it certainly complicated the matters but thanks for your reply!!
    Well, then that is on them. They know they are invited since they received the STD so it is their choice to wait until they receive a formal invite to book their travel.

    I would send your invites out at the 2 month mark.
    I would send them out 6 weeks before the RSVP due date. I want time to decide, even though you will have a lot of folks wait til the last minute to RSVP bc you are asking them to do so more than a month in advance of the wedding.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    eidecker said:
    Unfortunately that is what our venue requires for the final payment and food count 
    You should ask them if that's a minimum of final count, and ask them why they need it that early. Most places need counts 2 weeks before the event, but unless you live in a remote location, there should be no reason for them to need this much notice.  
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  • ktjanesmomktjanesmom member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    If you have your invites in hand, why not go ahead and send one to your aunts.  If it makes their lives a little easier, why not?
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    ktjanesmom said:
    If you have your invites in hand, why not go ahead and send one to your aunts.  If it makes their lives a little easier, why not?
    Because she probably doesn't have them in hand.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    laurynm84 said:


    eidecker said:

    Unfortunately that is what our venue requires for the final payment and food count 

    You should ask them if that's a minimum of final count, and ask them why they need it that early. Most places need counts 2 weeks before the event, but unless you live in a remote location, there should be no reason for them to need this much notice.  

    This is not always true. I have had three friends get married recently where they needed the final numbers in a month ahead of time. Sometimes it is just the venues policy.

    Again, OP, they have received the STD. They know that they are invited. Normal people would go ahead and book their travel before getting the formal invite. But if they choose to wait then that is on them.

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