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Kris10sd1010 · November 2013

southernbelle0915 · November 2013

TristyDawn said:

My fiance and I are set on registering for our honeymoon. We decided since part of it will be paid for, that we would plan a more extravegent honeymoon. We realize that we need to base the trip on what we can afford without any help, since we can not guarantee a set amount of money we will receive towards the honeymoon from our guests. You are right on here - do not plan on money you don't have in your bank account when you plan a vacation. With that being said, does anybody have any insight on how much people typically contribute to a gift like this? This depends on your crowd. You'd be very surprised that some people you might think would give big gifts won't, some people won't give gifts at all, and some will surprise you. Or does anybody have any experience in registering? Any insight would help. Thank you!

1) Honeymoon registries are considered against good etiquette. The reason is because they are seen as asking for money (asking for money is always rude). The couple doesn't get a "romantic dinner on the beach"... they get a check for $75 (aka money). Also, the HM registry vendors take a cut of the gifts - as much as 10%. So that $100 gift Aunt Jane gave you only ends up as $90 in your pocket. I never give to HM registries for this reason. If I want to give the couple money for their honeymoon, I'll write a check for $100 and put "honeymoon" in the memo line. No middle man needed.

If you want cash - you can spend it on your honeymoon if you want - create a very small registry/don't register at all and when people ask you what you want you can say, "well we are saving up for our honeymoon to XYZ." People understand this.

2) You are very smart to not plan a honeymoon you can't afford. People may or may not give you large gifts or any gifts at all. Definitely book something assuming you'll be the only ones paying for it.

Maggie0829 · November 2013

MNVegas · November 2013

Personally I would NEVER contribute to a HM registry nor would most of the people I know. I do not like it when people ask for cash gifts since I already know cash is a good gift and so do your guests. HM registries are very deceptive to your guests and asking for their money is rude. Do a small registry for people who want to give boxed gifts and other people will give cash if that is want THEY want to do.

climbingsingle · November 2013

Most people are generally not fans of HM registries. It's pretty much asking people for cash and that's rude.

I did have a friend that did a HM through a travel agency. She said it barely covered their airfare.

hoffse · November 2013

I contribute $0 to honeymoon registries. I would, however, give you a nice crystal vase instead. Or some other item of equal value that is on your regular registry.

FYI H and I received less than $400 in cash for our wedding - we received more than that in gift cards, but actual cash was less than $400. So yeah - it wouldn't have covered even one of our flights.

hoffse · November 2013

I will add - planning a more "extravagant" honeymoon is impossible if you don't have funds already in place. The best you can hope for is to add an extra spa treatment or excursion or something when you actually get there, after you see how much you have received.

H and I went to an AI. We aren't, in general, AI people, but we really enjoyed ourselves because it was a great break after all the wedding stress. Given the nature of AI's, we spent about $40 in cash once we actually got there (tips) and basically everything else was pre-paid. We did add an extra spa treatment because we had some extra money left over from our wedding budget. So that went on our credit card as an incidental while we were there... but yeah, everything else came out of pocket months before we got married.

doeydo · November 2013

MyNameIsNot · November 2013

TristyDawn said:

My fiance and I are set on registering for our honeymoon. We decided since part of it will be paid for, that we would plan a more extravegent honeymoon. We realize that we need to base the trip on what we can afford without any help, since we can not guarantee a set amount of money we will receive towards the honeymoon from our guests. With that being said, does anybody have any insight on how much people typically contribute to a gift like this? Or does anybody have any experience in registering? Any insight would help. Thank you!

Most people would contribute 0 to a gift like this, because they are offended by the rude request for cash.

Save yourself some embarrassment and skip the registry. Most people will be much more generous with cash gifts if you don't use a rude cash registry. Even still, you can't plan on any gifts when planning your honeymoon. You may actually get 0 cash gifts, with or without a cash registry.

RebeccaB88 · November 2013

You seriously couldn't be bothered to read the sticky thread just a few posts above yours that explains why honeymoon registries are rude and a ripoff? You aren't special. That advice applies to you too.

I don't give to honeymoon registries. And, if you have one, I will probably give you a (much) less expensive gift than I'd originally planned on, just because you rudely demanded money from me. If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to pay for your own honeymoon.

photokitty · November 2013

I would give $0. I actually didn't give a friend a gift bc when I asked where they were registered, they sent me their HM registry. I was super offended, and I was only 27 at the time. Over the past 7 years I have grown even more offended by them. Imagine what your parents' friends will think?!?! They are super rude.

We did not resister. Our gift breakdown was 75% cash or check. 20% gift cards. 5% random physical gifts. We did not ask for cash in any way shape or form. When people asked we actually told them if they wanted to get us a gift they could choose whatever they wanted but no gift was necessary.

People know cash is an appreciated gift, you don't need to tell them.

GL!

KatWAG · November 2013

RebeccaB88 said:

You seriously couldn't be bothered to read the sticky thread just a few posts above yours that explains why honeymoon registries are rude and a ripoff? You aren't special. That advice applies to you too.

I don't give to honeymoon registries. And, if you have one, I will probably give you a (much) less expensive gift than I'd originally planned on, just because you rudely demanded money from me. If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to pay for your own honeymoon.

^^^ all of this!

erinlin25 · November 2013

I would rather give you cash or a check that you can put the whole amount to your honeymoon rather than pay money to an agency who will take some of the money for themselves and give you less than what I paid.

just have a small registry and spread the word to family/close friends that you guys are saving for the honeymoon... word will get around and this way you do not need to register for "cash."

JoanE2012 · November 2013

@TristyDawn - Deleting your post only draws MORE attention to it. You also were quoted, so everyone knows what your original post said. Deleting it just makes you look more ridiculous.

RebeccaB88 · November 2013

Especially when you delete it without comment...

misssunshine17 · November 2013

Eww, pay for your own screw fest.

NYCBruin · November 2013

I wouldn't have called your idea rude but for the fact that you deleted your post. Otherwise it would have been ignored. But now that I've read your tacky idea (since you were quoted), I'll say this.

Don't ask people for money. It's rude. You'll probably end up getting less cash by doing a HM registry than by not b/c you will offend some people who would have otherwise given cash gifts. So not only is your idea tacky, but it's also stupid.

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