Anyone want to talk me down?

FoxandBunny · November 2013

So, as I mentioned in a couple of posts, BF and I went ring shopping this weekend. It went really well! We went to a very nice place close to us that specializes in diamonds and has great prices. Their service was awesome and they had every kind of ring under the sun. Oh my gosh that whole store was sparkling. It was awesome.

BF told me not to get too excited, as a proposal was at least a year away, but it was still very exciting. I tried on so many rings in so many different styles just to see what I liked. And I found one that I LOVE. It's perfect, and it's awesome and gorgeous and everything I could have ever wanted and more.

We've had a lot over conversations about rings and engagement since then too, most of them started by BF. Things like what size diamond I prefer (nothing over a caret as I have tiny hands and anything bigger than that is very troublesome to me),which of the 4 C's we find to be the most important, and what I liked and looked for in a setting. We also talked about budget and whether I would want a larger diamond and a cheaper setting or vice versa. He also said that the pricing was much more reasonable than he expected. So everything is starting to seem more real and more possible, changing to a "when we get engaged" instead of a "if we get engaged" kind of thing.

Now, the bad part is that I can't stop thinking about it and daydreaming and wishing. I know I have at least a year to wait for it, but I just can't stop. It doesn't help that BF keeps bring up stuff about rings and engagement (I think he's excited too). He is so not helping! I know I should enjoy our relationship as it is now, but it's just so exciting. Can you ladies please help talk me down/share in my excitement? Because I just want to tell everyone that we went shopping for rings and I can't, especially because I don't want to be hounded even more about getting engaged by people. But I kind of just need some perspective or something. I don't want to turn into a BSC girlfriend who is waiting for an engagement around every corner or hound him or anything.

KeptInStitches · November 2013

He's already told you it's going to be at least a year. In the meantime, focus on school/work/hobbies - something where you work with your hands is great because then you're focusing on your hand/eye coordination. And tell him to stop bringing it up because it's not helping you.

Blue & White · November 2013

Take up knitting. We can help!

We need a ney knit along. Can we do that @keptinstitches? Maybe after the holidays?

bride2b71614 · November 2013

Ditto with PPs. Since its a year down the road, take up a hobby, throw yourself into school work, enjoy the here and now relationship you have with your BF, hang out with friends... There are tons of ways to distract yourself. Not being able to tell your friends/family has to be frustrating but you are wise to keep it from them until the ring is actually on your finger. You also have the NEY board to keep you sane and talk you down when you start feeling like a "BSC gf"

CLoGreenEyes · November 2013

I agree with all the other ladies - hobbies, school, and work are your friends right now!

If you must, I would just pick your best friend and ONLY tell this person when this stuff comes up - sometimes all you need is to share it ONCE and then it's out of your system. (NEY is great for that, since it should ideally be somebody who will be excited but also bring you back to reality.

Also, journaling and knowing that you have that feeling of excitement recorded for yourself kind of helps you free up your mind.

And Stitches is wise - ask him if he can tone it down and only bring things up on a need-to-know basis. It'll keep both of you sane.

KeptInStitches · November 2013

Blue, I'll think about it. In the meantime, I hope you read chart ... YGPM.

ETA: Or not. @knotporscha, why can't I message Blue?

FoxandBunny · November 2013

Thanks guys

I appreciate all the advice. Maybe I'll try and find a hobby or something (and maybe stop procrastinating on my homework :P)

I hope that telling y'all got this out of my system as I feel much better already. If it doesn't though, I'll take your advice Amapola and tell my best friend. She's the only one who I don't think will take it out of context, if you know what I mean.

Also, I think I'm going to ask BF to tone it down as well. I love talking about it with him, but it is also making me feel a little crazy. So that may help too.

I trust you guys to keep me sane though this!

blabla89 · November 2013

Definitely a good idea to tone down the talk about it. Just tell him you want it to be a surprise and you trust him that it will be perfect. Spending time with girlfriends might help keep you sane too

phira · November 2013

It's definitely a double edged sword. On the one hand, I think it really sucks when you aren't on the same page as your partner when it comes to your futures together. One reason I knew that my relationship was working for me was that I could mention "wedding" and not have my guy get all flustered. It was really important that "wedding," "marriage," and related words weren't forbidden to utter.

But the problem then becomes that you start to plan for the future you know is coming. Hell, I'm planning a wedding right now and when I get bored ... I look at houses. Even though we're at least 5 years from buying one. When that happens, I get it out of my system and then I go back to distracting myself. Today, I'm using Friends DVDs. Tomorrow, it'll be laundry. One day at a time.

buddysmom80 · November 2013

@foxandbunny, I agree with all the PPs have said. I'm in the same situation as you, and I just keep myself busy. I do the things I want to do now on the weekends because I'm the type that thinks "well when I have to plan a wedding, my weekends will probably be consumed with that". So I do a lot of boozy brunches, knitting, working out and cleaning.

cowgirl8238 · November 2013

I would find a hobby and just distract yourself with it. Also I agree with the PPs about having your BF tone it down a bit. I am sure he is excited too but it definitly isn't helping you. For me just sharing things on forums like this, or in journals is really helpful.

MadHops21 · December 2013

My FI and I went shopping back in March of this year. He bought it but didn't propose until Labor Day this year. It wasn't a year, but it was a lot longer than I was originally thinking. Whatever you do, don't push for it to be sooner.

My FI planned it literally 8 hours before proposing because he cannot keep things from me. It was a complete surprise and I bawled my eyes out. Let him relax into it! Trust me when I say it's worth the wait

It's an amazing feeling wearing the ring afterwards.

thejucheidea · December 2013

Kelcita21 said:

My FI and I went shopping back in March of this year. He bought it but didn't propose until Labor Day this year. It wasn't a year, but it was a lot longer than I was originally thinking. Whatever you do, don't push for it to be sooner.

My FI planned it literally 8 hours before proposing because he cannot keep things from me. It was a complete surprise and I bawled my eyes out. Let him relax into it! Trust me when I say it's worth the wait It's an amazing feeling wearing the ring afterwards.

My husband had my ring for a year and a half before proposing, heh. He wanted to propose earlier, but he was really wanting to propose at a hockey game and then there was a fucking lockout.

FoxandBunny · December 2013

Yeah, I'll admit I had a minor moment there. I'm taking it slow, and we've pretty much stopped talking about it. We didn't even buy a ring, just went shopping. It's a happy step, but I just got a little over excited. I know it will happen when it happens, but that can't stop a girl from dreaming, right?

thejucheidea - I LOVE your sig picture. It's beautiful!

Anyone want to talk me down?

Re: Anyone want to talk me down?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards