27, second marriage

Re: 27, second marriage

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  photokitty mod

  

  November 2013 edited November 2013

  If someone offers to throw you shower and you accept that's fine. There is nothing wrong with having a shower the second time if you want one. You don't plan or ask for a shower. I did not have any showers, as I did not want people to feel they had to buy me gifts. 

  
  

  Otherwise I acted as if it was a first marriage I guess - I had a big wedding, wore a white dress. I just made sure I didn't make people feel like they had to buy me things. I still have all almost all the gifts my family had bought me 6 years ago for my very brief first marriage. This time I was focused on marrying the right man and starting our life together.

  
  

  The other thing I personal took into account was we paid for this wedding. My parents had paid most for my first wedding and I would never have expected them to pay again. My dad bought my dress as gift, it was important to him to buy it. And they helped with favors and misc items. But DH and I paid for 95% of the wedding. Plan what you can afford - it's never a good idea to go into debt for a wedding.

  
  

  GL!

  ~xoxo~

  
  

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  MikesAngie member

  

  November 2013

  Hi and welcome to the board.  Congratulations on your engagement!! 

  
  

  This is your first wedding to your FI, that being said plan the wedding you can afford.  Do not host your own showers, if offered you can accept to have one hosted for you. My MOH (my baby sister) hosted one for me (I had never had a bridal shower before). 

  
  

  We registered because our ex-s were greedy and attempted to leave us with little. 

  
  

  I wore white and a veil (my Mom was not letting go of that one), we had a formal wedding party and invited mostly family and a handful of close friends.  

  
  

  So have the wedding you want and can afford. 

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  clg1213 member

  

  November 2013

  I see no reason a 2nd wedding can't be as fun/fancy/meaningful as the 1st and no reason for there to be a substantial difference just b/c you were married before. As @MikesAngie notes, it is also your first wedding to FI, which will hopefully be the start of a marriage for a lifetime and is as important as any other wedding

  Like you, this will be my 2nd but FI's 1st.  I didn't feel a need for a big event but also felt FI deserved his event (honestly, my first wedding was great, it was the marriage that was flawed).  As we've planned, I'm glad I'll be able to make the memory of a reception to celebrate marrying FI, a chance to truly see myself as his bride on that day (which I'm distinguishing from becoming his wife...that commitment would be the same regardless of the nature of the party....and it is VERY important to me).

  

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  ShallowSeas member

  

  November 2013

  March2013FTM said:

  Hi everyone!

  
  

  Little background: I am 27, my fiance is 31. We have been together 2 years and have an 8 month old daughter. We have finally decided to take the plunge and get married. This is my second wedding, I was married at 20 and divorced/separated by 24. This is his first wedding. He wants a big wedding, which is fine. I knew on my wedding day the first time around it wasn't what was right, I didn't enjoy any of it as much as I should have. I want to experience a wedding and all the planning (and shower) as if I've never been married. Most everyone knows I've been married, but really just ignores it. Is it rude for me to treat this as a first marriage? I have new friends, new family members, I think everyone would be on board, I just don't want to be rude. I don't know the etiquette for a second time wedding.

  i am in a similar situation as you. I am 26 and divorced, although I am not engaged yet, my boyfriend bought the ring and it's sitting in my closet. This will be my second wedding, his first. Like you, I have all new friends, yet they know that I was once married. I think every wedding should be special; whether it's your first, third, or tenth. Its his first wedding and your first wedding marrying him. When the day comes to start planning a wedding, I will be treating this wedding like a first wedding. I do not expect any showers to be thrown or for my parents to pay for it all again, but if someone offers to give me a shower and wants to, or if my parents decide they want to help out financially, I would appreciate the offers and accept.
  

  

  

   

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