I am marrying the love of my life after years of living in a horrible marriage with an unfaithful husband that ended in divorce. I am SO grateful for the miracle of this new life and our life/family together is an amazing blessing. Our wedding has been a long awaited event and it will be a beautiful evening, but I have dealt with so many people who behave BADLY during this wedding process. I did not expect this at almost 40 years old!
First, I told my friends who are standing with me to choose whatever dress they liked, felt comfortable with, pretty in (and could afford)
as long as it was in my chosen (easy to find and wear again) color. One friend complained about EVERYTHING, (she wanted to wear pants because she hates dresses--ugh) but ended up buying a dress like the other girl. Then, she backed out of the wedding completely and now wants me to either find someone else to wear it (she's a very full figured girl and I don't have any other friends her size) or pay her for it. Because I am a push-over, I was tempted to pay her for it, but everyone has said that's insane considering the expense we have in the rest of the wedding, the commitment she made to be in it, and the fact that SHE backed out.
Now...my future brother and sister in law sent a text to my fiance stating that their daughter would love to be the flower girl in our wedding. They said she was very excited-- (even had a dress in the closet that her older sister had worn in her aunt's wedding a few years ago that could work). There is one problem. They never asked us and we hadn't really planned on having a flower girl. Also, they have NO IDEA what our colors are, what our wedding is like, etc. You see, I have never even MET or spoken with them. We don't even live in the same State. I was shocked to say the least.
We have rented a beautiful b&b for the evening. Our wedding will be cozy and intimate, with just our closest family and friends. It's formal, as far as our attire, but it's definitely not traditional as weddings go. We have seven children and they are the only children who will be a part of the wedding party. If I would decide to include other children, I certainly could not over look my own nieces and nephews and hurt my sister, and this is one reason why we decided to keep things simple and eliminate the "flower girl/ring bearer" roles. When you want a small wedding, you have to draw a line somewhere! :-)
Anyway, my fiance's brother and his wife are not speaking to us now. They say their daughter is disappointed and they were sad to have to break the news to her! Of course she is! Bless her heart! They never should have discussed this with her in the first place without knowing our plans! When we tried to explain our reasons, our wedding plans, etc., they wouldn't take no for an answer and replied, "Couldn't she just hold some mums or something? She really wants to do this and we don't know many people getting married these days." What? Honestly, I am a peacemaker and so is my sweet fiance. It's not worth a family battle over something so dumb and I certainly wouldn't hurt a child's feelings for the world. However, I have never encountered people so unreasonable in my life. They do not see that they're out of line.
Also, to just pull any old dress from the closet and assume that I could care less is pretty rude. I have chosen specific colors for our wedding, just like any bride. My gown is "light gold" which is unusual and doesn't match just anything. I'm no Bridezilla, but c'mon! It's still my wedding day! :-) I have a feeling that my future sister in law needs attention/the spotlight for herself or her girls and will seek it out--even if it's negative. Perhaps living in separate states will be a good thing...
I am determined not to allow any of this to steal my joy on our special day. We have been given an incredible gift in each other and we want to celebrate it. Our children, friends and family who really love us will be there supporting us. I am just shocked at how events such as these bring out such ugliness and selfishness in others It's sad! I just needed to get it off of my chest, I guess! Thanks for listening and for any words of encouragement! :-)