Divorcing Parent Drama

Re: Divorcing Parent Drama

• Jen4948 member

  

  November 2013

  I'm sorry your father is such an ass that he can't put aside his problems with your mom for you.  But since he's being like this, don't plan for his presence.  You will be not only wasting your time but setting yourself up for grief.
  

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  November 2013

  I agree with @Jen4948. Plan on him not attending. You'll be pleasantly surprised if he does, but you won't be unpleasantly surprised if he doesn't.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• Amyzen83 member

  

  November 2013

  I'm sooo sorry to hear that! He sounds like an ass! I think I'd sit down and have a heart to heart with him and ask him if he's willing to also lose the relationship with his daughter as well? Because that's got to be very hurtful including the fact that I'm sure it's painful enough having your parents go through a divorce, but now he's adding you additional pain.

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• clg1213 member

  

  November 2013

  That sucks.  I'm sorry he's being childish.  I could see some cases in which someone skipped an event b/c they worried there'd be undue (and unfair) drama if they attended, but the tenor of your post makes me doubt that's truly the case here (and I think that someone in that situation, esp someone as close as a parent, should ash the couple what they prefer) 

  If your FI wants a mother/son dance, I'd just leave open the idea of making it a dual dance including you and your dad 1) if her comes and 2) if you want to do so. 

  I wouldn't worry about getting him a gift...he told you he isn't coming, even if he changes his tune you have every right to skip the gift relying on his current word (and the parent gift isn't mandatory...you should give it only if you want to)

   

  You probably won't need to plan seating till a week or two out....you need RSVPs in....so plenty of time there.

  

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• CommitmentCat member

  

  November 2013

  That's absolutely terrible.
  
  I agree with the PPs. I would not plan for him to be there, if he decides to show up, well that would be a nice surprise, but I wouldn't get your hopes up and plan for it.
  
  What a shitty situation. Really. I honestly can't express how angry these types of situations make me. Good luck with all your wedding plans. I really hope you have most spectacular day ever.
  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  November 2013

  CommitmentCat said:

  That's absolutely terrible.
  
  I agree with the PPs. I would not plan for him to be there, if he decides to show up, well that would be a nice surprise, but I wouldn't get your hopes up and plan for it.
  
  What a shitty situation. Really. I honestly can't express how angry these types of situations make me. Good luck with all your wedding plans. I really hope you have most spectacular day ever.
  

  Ditto this exactly. I'm so sorry! 

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• s-aries8990 member

  

  November 2013

  I'm so sorry to hear that.
  
  I would plan on him not coming - both logistically and emotionally. It's tough not to have parents there on days of great importance, especially when it's from their own choosing.
  
  I agree, plan on him not attending in regard to seating, processional, and dances. If he comes, that's wonderful, but if he doesn't, at least you're prepared and not caught off guard.
  

   

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• Couggal12 member

  

  November 2013

  I am really sorry this is happening to you. I agree with PP to plan on him not attending.

  

  
  

  
  

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