Bridesmaids Gifts

soontobemrsbuccheri · November 2013

I'm in the process of finalizing my gifts to my bridesmaids and I am wondering if I should include anything else. Here is what is going to be given to them:

Zip-up Hooded Sweatshirt w/MOH or Bridesmaid written on the back for the morning of (hair appointment, pictures prior to getting dressed)
Pashmina w/their initials (monogram) embroidered on one side and our Monogram and wedding date (small) embroidered on other end. - this is to be used to cover shoulders during ceremony at church as well as pictures, etc.
Handmade beaded bracelet (I'm in the process of picking out pattern and what colors to be used)

I was thinking of adding earrings that match their bracelets but some of the girls have sensitive ears so I'm not sure I can find earring posts that will not affect their sensitive ears.

Do you think this is enough? When I was the MOH in my girlfriends wedding she gave us a pretty earring/necklace set to wear. I feel like I may be giving too much/too little.

Any advice?

artbyallie · November 2013

Anything to be worn in your wedding is not a gift, but essentially part of the 'uniform.' And most women I know would never wear anything labeled 'bridesmaid' or anything monogrammed. And why would they want your wedding date on a pashmina?

While I did give my bridesmaids necklaces and bracelets that I made, that was not their gift. Their gift was a book chosen to match their individual tastes. For example, my MOH knits so she got a book of one-ball knitting patterns.

Think about what you would buy them as a gift if your wedding was out of the picture, like for their birthday or Christmas.

chibiyui · November 2013

I would personally not consider the hoodie a "gift" . I would never wear it again after your wedding. I also would not really want a pashmina with your wedding date on it, but you would know your friends better they might like that. Generally though, if you expect them to wear it for pictures/your wedding it isn't a gift so much as a prop.

I suggest you get them something small, but personalized. Like get your wine loving friend some wine, your shopping friend a gift card to her favorite store, a bookworm books, etc. Shop like it's their birthday. You don't need to spend a lot.

southernbelle0915 · November 2013

soontobemrsbuccheri said:

I'm in the process of finalizing my gifts to my bridesmaids and I am wondering if I should include anything else. Here is what is going to be given to them:
Zip-up Hooded Sweatshirt w/MOH or Bridesmaid written on the back for the morning of (hair appointment, pictures prior to getting dressed)
Pashmina w/their initials (monogram) embroidered on one side and our Monogram and wedding date (small) embroidered on other end. - this is to be used to cover shoulders during ceremony at church as well as pictures, etc.
Handmade beaded bracelet (I'm in the process of picking out pattern and what colors to be used)

I was thinking of adding earrings that match their bracelets but some of the girls have sensitive ears so I'm not sure I can find earring posts that will not affect their sensitive ears.

Do you think this is enough? When I was the MOH in my girlfriends wedding she gave us a pretty earring/necklace set to wear. I feel like I may be giving too much/too little.

Any advice?

Have you already purchased these things? If so, is there any way you can return them? I'm not trying to be mean, but I would never wear a hoodie that said MOH or bridesmaid after the wedding. It'd go straight to goodwill. As for the pashminas, I think that's a sweet idea, but as you know if you're changing your last name, initials change so monogramming it might not be a great idea.

The bracelets you're making sound very nice and thoughtful. As for other gifts, anything you ask them to wear the day of the wedding doesn't "count" as a gift. Think about what you'd buy them as a gift outside the context of the wedding - concert tickets/new album for the music lover, travel mug/coffee for the coffee lover, a cute clutch for the purse lover, a nice laptop case for the career-focused friend, a new yoga mat for the yoga friend, you get the idea.

soontobemrsbuccheri · November 2013

My bridal party consists of mostly family and one extremely close friend. It was my sister (MOH's) idea for the hoodies for the morning of. I may tell her no to them. I will have to start looking for individual gifts. Who would have thought this would be so hard.....

ah.

soontobemrsbuccheri · November 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

soontobemrsbuccheri said:

I'm in the process of finalizing my gifts to my bridesmaids and I am wondering if I should include anything else. Here is what is going to be given to them:
Zip-up Hooded Sweatshirt w/MOH or Bridesmaid written on the back for the morning of (hair appointment, pictures prior to getting dressed)
Pashmina w/their initials (monogram) embroidered on one side and our Monogram and wedding date (small) embroidered on other end. - this is to be used to cover shoulders during ceremony at church as well as pictures, etc.
Handmade beaded bracelet (I'm in the process of picking out pattern and what colors to be used)

I was thinking of adding earrings that match their bracelets but some of the girls have sensitive ears so I'm not sure I can find earring posts that will not affect their sensitive ears.

Do you think this is enough? When I was the MOH in my girlfriends wedding she gave us a pretty earring/necklace set to wear. I feel like I may be giving too much/too little.

Any advice?

Have you already purchased these things? If so, is there any way you can return them? I'm not trying to be mean, but I would never wear a hoodie that said MOH or bridesmaid after the wedding. It'd go straight to goodwill. As for the pashminas, I think that's a sweet idea, but as you know if you're changing your last name, initials change so monogramming it might not be a great idea.

The bracelets you're making sound very nice and thoughtful. As for other gifts, anything you ask them to wear the day of the wedding doesn't "count" as a gift. Think about what you'd buy them as a gift outside the context of the wedding - concert tickets/new album for the music lover, travel mug/coffee for the coffee lover, a cute clutch for the purse lover, a nice laptop case for the career-focused friend, a new yoga mat for the yoga friend, you get the idea.

The hooded sweatshirt was my sisters idea. The pashmina will have the monogram I'm using for our wedding invites (it would be my initial/new last name/fi's initial) and our wedding date - a small embroidered monogram that won't really be 'seen' unless looked at. Their monogram would be much bigger. 2 of the girls in my bridal party are already married, so their last name won't be changing. I have a few things that are monogramed with my current initials and I plan to use them even after I'm married. It's small things like scarves, gloves and a book mark. Heh.

I will look into more "personal" gifts for my girls. Thanks!

climbingsingle · November 2013

I agree that I wouldn't wear that hoodie again. I would add in something a little more personalized that's not wedding related.

doeydo · November 2013

I really doubt that anyone would wear anything ever again that had the words MOH/BM on them or your wedding date. Also, anything for them to wear on your wedding day is not a bridesmaid gift.

vt&dt · November 2013

I'm in the same boat - still trying to figure out gifts for my girls. The sweatshirts might make a couple of cute pictures, but I'd guess they would never be worn again. Pashminas are a good idea - personally, I love them and wear them all winter - but wouldn't wear one with someone else's wedding date on it.

I'm thinking about getting each of my BMs a clutch or wristlet (not all the same - that matches their individual tastes) and putting in a few goodies - fancy chocolates, a gift card to a favorite store, etc. - and have them different for each girl. I'm also going to try to get an empty picture frame (basic) that they could (but don't have to) use for a picture from the wedding, and I'm writing each a letter (I'm a sap). I may or may not make them all earrings to wear in the wedding, but I'm not considering that their gift.

Good luck!

atlastmrsg · November 2013

If you really want to give them pashminas, have you considered leaving the customization off?

I had a very dapper friend who dressed up each day for high school. The way he afforded it when we were teens? He would go to consignment stores and thrift stores to pick up second hand Brooks Brothers and other designer shirts. Often they were monogrammed at the cuff with the previous owner's initials. He was constantly asked why he was wearing someone else's initials.

The point--does your wedding party want to wear something monogrammed with someone else's initials after the wedding? I vote highly unlikely. Like my friend from high school, might as well be a pashmina they picked up at a thrift store with someone else's initials.

southernbelle0915 · November 2013

soontobemrsbuccheri said:

southernbelle0915 said:
Have you already purchased these things? If so, is there any way you can return them? I'm not trying to be mean, but I would never wear a hoodie that said MOH or bridesmaid after the wedding. It'd go straight to goodwill. As for the pashminas, I think that's a sweet idea, but as you know if you're changing your last name, initials change so monogramming it might not be a great idea.

The bracelets you're making sound very nice and thoughtful. As for other gifts, anything you ask them to wear the day of the wedding doesn't "count" as a gift. Think about what you'd buy them as a gift outside the context of the wedding - concert tickets/new album for the music lover, travel mug/coffee for the coffee lover, a cute clutch for the purse lover, a nice laptop case for the career-focused friend, a new yoga mat for the yoga friend, you get the idea.

The hooded sweatshirt was my sisters idea. The pashmina will have the monogram I'm using for our wedding invites (it would be my initial/new last name/fi's initial) and our wedding date - a small embroidered monogram that won't really be 'seen' unless looked at. Their monogram would be much bigger. 2 of the girls in my bridal party are already married, so their last name won't be changing. I have a few things that are monogramed with my current initials and I plan to use them even after I'm married. It's small things like scarves, gloves and a book mark. Heh.

I will look into more "personal" gifts for my girls. Thanks!

To the bolded - I would not do this. Put that money toward the personalized gifts instead. I know the wedding is super special to you, but nobody actually wants YOUR monogram and YOUR wedding date on their stuff. It just doesn't make sense. KWIM? I think your BMs would love these gifts a lot more if it was just a straight up pashmina.

soontobemrsbuccheri · November 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

soontobemrsbuccheri said:

southernbelle0915 said:
Have you already purchased these things? If so, is there any way you can return them? I'm not trying to be mean, but I would never wear a hoodie that said MOH or bridesmaid after the wedding. It'd go straight to goodwill. As for the pashminas, I think that's a sweet idea, but as you know if you're changing your last name, initials change so monogramming it might not be a great idea.

The bracelets you're making sound very nice and thoughtful. As for other gifts, anything you ask them to wear the day of the wedding doesn't "count" as a gift. Think about what you'd buy them as a gift outside the context of the wedding - concert tickets/new album for the music lover, travel mug/coffee for the coffee lover, a cute clutch for the purse lover, a nice laptop case for the career-focused friend, a new yoga mat for the yoga friend, you get the idea.

The hooded sweatshirt was my sisters idea. The pashmina will have the monogram I'm using for our wedding invites (it would be my initial/new last name/fi's initial) and our wedding date - a small embroidered monogram that won't really be 'seen' unless looked at. Their monogram would be much bigger. 2 of the girls in my bridal party are already married, so their last name won't be changing. I have a few things that are monogramed with my current initials and I plan to use them even after I'm married. It's small things like scarves, gloves and a book mark. Heh.

I will look into more "personal" gifts for my girls. Thanks!

To the bolded - I would not do this. Put that money toward the personalized gifts instead. I know the wedding is super special to you, but nobody actually wants YOUR monogram and YOUR wedding date on their stuff. It just doesn't make sense. KWIM? I think your BMs would love these gifts a lot more if it was just a straight up pashmina.

Actually, when I asked my girls (who are mostly family) they like the idea of the personalized pashmina. Plus, my mom owns a sewing shop, and she does embroidery, etc, so it won't cost either one of us a dime. Everything that we are going to give (other then the more personalized gifts that they'll get the day of) won't be costing me much of anything.

southernbelle0915 · November 2013

soontobemrsbuccheri said:

southernbelle0915 said:

soontobemrsbuccheri said:
The hooded sweatshirt was my sisters idea. The pashmina will have the monogram I'm using for our wedding invites (it would be my initial/new last name/fi's initial) and our wedding date - a small embroidered monogram that won't really be 'seen' unless looked at. Their monogram would be much bigger. 2 of the girls in my bridal party are already married, so their last name won't be changing. I have a few things that are monogramed with my current initials and I plan to use them even after I'm married. It's small things like scarves, gloves and a book mark. Heh.

I will look into more "personal" gifts for my girls. Thanks!

To the bolded - I would not do this. Put that money toward the personalized gifts instead. I know the wedding is super special to you, but nobody actually wants YOUR monogram and YOUR wedding date on their stuff. It just doesn't make sense. KWIM? I think your BMs would love these gifts a lot more if it was just a straight up pashmina.

Actually, when I asked my girls (who are mostly family) they like the idea of the personalized pashmina. Plus, my mom owns a sewing shop, and she does embroidery, etc, so it won't cost either one of us a dime. Everything that we are going to give (other then the more personalized gifts that they'll get the day of) won't be costing me much of anything.

Ok, I tried.... What do people say when brides show them pictures of their dress? "Oh wow, that is HORRIBLE!" "Why did you buy that cheap thing?" "That's just ugly." No. People say "oh wow, you're going to look lovely!" "Beautiful!" "How pretty!"

It's the same thing with 99% of the ideas you are going to pitch to your BMs, your mom, your family, your friends.... They know this day is important to you and don't want to poo poo your ideas. I'm an internet stranger and I'm telling you right now that gifts with your initials and wedding date on it WILL NOT get used as much as the gift without those things. Obviously you're going to do whatever you want, but your BMs will definitely get more use out of items that don't have your monogram and wedding date all over them.

Again, I'm not trying to be mean, but just telling you what the general consensus is on this stuff.

CTYankeeBride · November 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

soontobemrsbuccheri said:

southernbelle0915 said:

soontobemrsbuccheri said:
The hooded sweatshirt was my sisters idea. The pashmina will have the monogram I'm using for our wedding invites (it would be my initial/new last name/fi's initial) and our wedding date - a small embroidered monogram that won't really be 'seen' unless looked at. Their monogram would be much bigger. 2 of the girls in my bridal party are already married, so their last name won't be changing. I have a few things that are monogramed with my current initials and I plan to use them even after I'm married. It's small things like scarves, gloves and a book mark. Heh.

I will look into more "personal" gifts for my girls. Thanks!

To the bolded - I would not do this. Put that money toward the personalized gifts instead. I know the wedding is super special to you, but nobody actually wants YOUR monogram and YOUR wedding date on their stuff. It just doesn't make sense. KWIM? I think your BMs would love these gifts a lot more if it was just a straight up pashmina.

Actually, when I asked my girls (who are mostly family) they like the idea of the personalized pashmina. Plus, my mom owns a sewing shop, and she does embroidery, etc, so it won't cost either one of us a dime. Everything that we are going to give (other then the more personalized gifts that they'll get the day of) won't be costing me much of anything.

Ok, I tried.... What do people say when brides show them pictures of their dress? "Oh wow, that is HORRIBLE!" "Why did you buy that cheap thing?" "That's just ugly." No. People say "oh wow, you're going to look lovely!" "Beautiful!" "How pretty!"

It's the same thing with 99% of the ideas you are going to pitch to your BMs, your mom, your family, your friends.... They know this day is important to you and don't want to poo poo your ideas. I'm an internet stranger and I'm telling you right now that gifts with your initials and wedding date on it WILL NOT get used as much as the gift without those things. Obviously you're going to do whatever you want, but your BMs will definitely get more use out of items that don't have your monogram and wedding date all over them.

Again, I'm not trying to be mean, but just telling you what the general consensus is on this stuff.

This.

Take a look at the number of maid of honor and bridesmaid t-shirts and hoodies either donated or take a look on e-bay and see how many people are trying to unload the ones they were given as gifts. People will tell you they love these things, because they love you and they're excited for you but once that wears off, they will wonder wtf they are supposed to do with a hoodie that says "bridesmaid" on it. If it means that much to you to give them these things, then go ahead and do it but I encourage you to skip it or at the very least give them something in addition to these things (a book, movie ticket, wristlet, kitchen item, restaurant gift card- something you would give them for a birthday) that won't end up in a Goodwill bin.

Also, don't assume that because your maids are married that their monogram won't change. Things happen, and monograms (last initials) do change sometimes.

atlastmrsg · November 2013

I am in CTYankeeBride's corner.

I'm sure the etiquette police objects to my strategy that doesn't involve presents, but since it's my wedding and my wedding party is happy, I'm happy. I asked my wedding party if it was okay that for the present, I purchased their designer bridesmaid dress. No tote bags, koozies, stud earrings, garden party they have to attend because I want to have a luncheon for bridesmaids only, etc. I'll enjoy their company like any usual time leading up to my wedding but without any matching tank tops, etc.

My MOH was delighted and thanked me, saying she'd rather have a dress she legitimately will wear again and not a bunch of useless "stuff." We're all 29-31ish, so we've been in plenty of weddings and had to buy bad dresses and wear the matchy t-shirts. In place of all the riff raff, I purchased Herve Leger dresses for bridal party and am done with it. Bridal party = happy. Me = happy. No presents to wrap, no sweatshirts to buy, etc. And if someone doesn't want the dress in a year, they can sell it for enough on eBay to buy themselves their own other presents.

artbyallie · November 2013

SAHoehle said:

I am in CTYankeeBride's corner.

I'm sure the etiquette police objects to my strategy that doesn't involve presents, but since it's my wedding and my wedding party is happy, I'm happy. I asked my wedding party if it was okay that for the present, I purchased their designer bridesmaid dress. No tote bags, koozies, stud earrings, garden party they have to attend because I want to have a luncheon for bridesmaids only, etc. I'll enjoy their company like any usual time leading up to my wedding but without any matching tank tops, etc.

My MOH was delighted and thanked me, saying she'd rather have a dress she legitimately will wear again and not a bunch of useless "stuff." We're all 29-31ish, so we've been in plenty of weddings and had to buy bad dresses and wear the matchy t-shirts. In place of all the riff raff, I purchased Herve Leger dresses for bridal party and am done with it. Bridal party = happy. Me = happy. No presents to wrap, no sweatshirts to buy, etc. And if someone doesn't want the dress in a year, they can sell it for enough on eBay to buy themselves their own other presents.

Ya know, if you can afford to drop hundreds of dollars per bridesmaid on that designer's dresses, you could really afford to buy them a decent gift. A bottle of their favorite wine? I mean, you chose the dress, no? It's not necessarily something they would have opted to get on their own. I really hope they're all truly comfortable and not lying because they would feel bad to tell you the truth.

I personally would be super uncomfortable wearing a skintight dress in a wedding, and I've never seen an Herve that wasn't a 'bandage dress.'

atlastmrsg · November 2013

After considering feedback on style, I picked five options in two colors that were an appropriate length and not club-looking tight, and asked "which do you want?" Everyone is happy and looks very nice, while achieving my vision of it looking like a nice evening event (not satin and bridesmaid-y.) Satin/bridesmaid-y is fine. It just wasn't how I envisioned my event.

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