To all the married ladies....

shaina925 · November 2013

I'm doing a final project for my Philosophy class and the topic I chose was marriage. We are supposed to ask a "beautiful question" that we are interested in and as part of the project need to conduct a survey or interview. The question I'm asking is, What attributes to a long lasting marriage? If you could also please post with your answer how long you've been married that would be very helpful. Any help would be greatly appreciated

Viczaesar · November 2013

You need a different word than "attributes," or you need to rephrase the question. How about "To what do you attribute a long lasting marriage?" Also, what on earth is a "beautiful question"?

shaina925 · November 2013

Yes, I am sorry I actually changed my question. It is: What qualities make for a happy and successful marriage?

And a beautiful question is something that my crazy philosophy teacher made up! It is just a final presentation on a topic that interests us.

RissAnn1970 · November 2013

COMMUNICATION. Biggest thing in any relationship, not just marriage.

Married 4 years, 8 months.

Maggie0829 · November 2013

Communication, learning to compromise, trust, being okay with possibility of giving something up if a different course of action will be better for the both of you (basically being okay with sacrificing something every now and then), saying "I'm sorry" if you mess up, and date nights (quality time = no tv, no cell phones, no computers)...but all of these are things that should be in any relationship, not just a marriage.

Married 2 years, 4.5 months (but been together for over 11 years).

Youaremylolipop · November 2013

I've only been married for a little over a month, but I agree that learning to admit you were wrong and say I'm sorry is so important. Also, I love leaving random notes or little gifts around to show I was thinking about my husband, when he grabs me and tells me how cute it was or how much he appreciated it, I love that. The most important one i have though is to have sex hehe. Get dressed up in your lingerie, light candles, and really spend time together with no distractions.

KatWAG · November 2013

Communication, compromise, trust, chemistry, attraction and simliar goals in life.

Married 1.5 years

southernbelle0915 · November 2013

Married 4 months. Together 4.5 years.

1. Love

2. Effective communication and listening

3. Selflessness

4. At least some shared vision/goals in life

In that order. I think it might also be interesting for you to ask your question on a forum geared towards men (TK is obviously open, but happens to be predominantly women), and one geared towards older men and women who may have decades under their belts. There are some marriage veterans here, but mostly novice newlyweds.

krizzo17 · November 2013

Saying "thank you." Every single night my husband thanks me for making dinner. Every single night I thank him for doing the dishes. When you get into the habit of being outwardly thankful for even the little, everyday things, you are forced to remember how wonderful the other person is to/for you.

daria24 · November 2013

In addition to the above, maintaining your own separate interests/hobbies/goals, in addition to the ones you share.

Married 18 months, been together for 8 years.

ktjanesmom · November 2013

Love and affection. A healthy sex life is very important. Intimacy. Mutual respect. I was married for 22 years and the marriage fell apart I believe, because of the lack of intimacy, affection, sex. I also believe marriage is a choice. When you choose to get married, you choose it for life for better and for worse and all of that. I believe in that. If I could undo my divorce, I would.

vk2204 · November 2013

I have only been married since April, but we have been together for over 8 years. I think that communication, trust, compromise and being accepting of one another (as in not trying to change your SO) will make a marriage last.

Dreamergirl8812 · November 2013

krizzo17 said:

Saying "thank you." Every single night my husband thanks me for making dinner. Every single night I thank him for doing the dishes. When you get into the habit of being outwardly thankful for even the little, everyday things, you are forced to remember how wonderful the other person is to/for you.

Definitely this. I would say appreciation one of the most important components of a successful marriage. I think the worst thing for a marriage is pride.

Although I've only been married for 26 days so what the fuck do I know?

lovesclimbing · November 2013

Communication. Mutual respect. Choosing to love the other person because love is not just a feeling, and there will certainly be times when you feel like you don't love the other person.

golden1215 · November 2013

In addition to all the other wonderful things listed above, I love knowing that my husband is the man and I am his woman. As in, he kills all spiders, fixes broken gutters and takes the cars in for repair; I cook, sing our daughter to sleep and handle writing thank you cards. There are a million other things, and I am actually a feminist at heart and know that I can kill spiders and fix gutters and take cars to the shop, but my husband feels good "owning" those roles in the house and when your husband feels respected and valued and needed (versus tossed to the side like we do to men/dads a LOT in society these days) he will rise to the occasion and be an awesome partner.

Together 8 years, married 3 1/2.

Vintagelove4 · November 2013

I've only been married for a few months but from what I've seen in my parent's marriage, 31 years, love, communication, forgiveness, understanding, trust, compromise and having a bit of your own life (your own friends and hobbies) are some of the fundamentals of a long lasting marriage.

To all the married ladies....

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