Loved this

Blackbird230 · November 2013

I was almost tearing up at this. It's beautiful. Discuss?

audrewuh · November 2013

Honestly, I thought it was poorly written, so it was hard for me to look past that and the "Woman has spider bite holes in her ear" story on the side.

That being said, the notion of it is good. The stress of planning "the perfect proposal" is a little insane, but then you have awesomely romantical ones like Jim and Pam that remind people low key is also awesome.

And yes, getting married isn't all puppies and rainbows. It's puke and shitty apartments and weight gain, along with the gamut of emotions that come with life.

Vintagelove4 · November 2013

I really liked it. I liked the overall notion that she was trying to get at that romance isn't all this flashy show off stuff; it's doing the dirty jobs around the house too. Also not to get so caught up in the proposal, or the girl's version: the wedding. Because that's the celebration but the truth is your marrying this person for life not just who they are now but who they will become. Typing it out it almost seems like it would have made two good separate stories.

Still I really liked it and it made me tear up a few times.

blabla89 · November 2013

In general I'm not a fan of Ann Voskamp's writing style. The "gushing amniotic oceans" are just too much for me.

But what she says about true romance is absolutely beautiful, and like @lilyrose4242 said it's the truth about marrying someone for who they will become. @Kait thanks for sharing!

GoldenPenguin · November 2013

Meh. I didn't love it. I liked the basis of the thought behind it, but there were a few lines that made me roll my eyes. It's another example that love isn't the same for everyone, and that just because a man isn't "boring" in the ways that the author describes, doesn't mean he isn't a good husband/partner. A few things that rubbed me the wrong way. (My thoughts are in italics.)

1. Your goal is always to make your Christ-focus contagious -- to just one person.

I'm not religious, so I don't get this. But it bothers me on some level that this "boring" love is only worthwhile if it's "Christ-focused."

2. "The man that imagines the coming decades of a fluid life --"

She than goes on to talk about leaky nipples & amniotic fluid & leaky bladders. Because "boring" love is only good if there are children involved.

3. " -- so you don't go giving your eyes away to cheap porn."

Watching porn cheapens love? Ridiculous. I don't love my boyfriend any less if I watch porn while he's away - or while he's right there with me. And vice versa. That's just ignorant.

4. "Because the truth is, real love will always make you suffer. Simply commit: Who am I willing to suffer for."

I hate this. I LOVE my boyfriend, to the ends of the earth -- but never once have I "suffered" because of it. Are all aspects of love, commitment, and relationships perfect and glorious? No, of course not. But taking out the garbage and doing the dishes and listening to instead of talking at shouldn't be "suffering." That's life.

5. "Be the kind of man whose romance isn't about cameras -- because it's about Christ."

Again, with the Christ. BFs romance isn't about cameras OR Christ. It's about the fact that he loves me and wants to be romantic for ME. And that is perfectly okay.

Blackbird230 · November 2013

@BriSox81, the writing isn't great I know. It was originally published on a Catholic or Christian blog? I believe? It said at the end. I just enjoyed the overall thought of the article.

GoldenPenguin · November 2013

I actually didn't mind her writing style.

It's just one of those articles that are designed to make you feel bad if you don't do some of those things. Do I want an extravagant, lip-dub, flash mob proposal? Not really, but I don't think that the guys who do are any less romantic that the guy who does it at home in his PJs. Just because a guy does something "big" doesn't mean he's not looking forward to the "boring" years. That just could be his/her - or their - personality.

It's similar, to me, to the "real women have curves" movement. I'm a curvy girl, but that doesn't make me MORE of a woman than my friends who are super fit and/or skinny. I don't think the media should fat shame bigger women, and I don't think they should make naturally skinny women feel bad for not having curves. Just like I don't think guys who do a "big" proposal should have to feel bad because their video went viral, or because he watches porn.

[Deleted User] · November 2013

Like many PP's i'm not a huge fan of her writing here...but I do like the overall message. I also agree with Bri that you shouldn't really "bash" those who do have flashy proposals assuming they don't have strength and commitment behind their relationships. The one line in the article that I really liked from the article sums up my feelings on the topic:

"How a man proposes isn't what makes him romantic. It's how a man purposes to lay down his life that makes him romantic."

Short version: It's the little day-to-day things that mean the most.

CLoGreenEyes · November 2013

Ehhhhh. I didn't totally get this article. I'm not gonna lie, I don't particularly look forward to the very messy, boring, mundane bits of life myself. I mean, I definitely want to have a home and a family someday, but I also look forward to achieving the big milestones with someone, and to both of us accomplishing our major goals together. Keeping a living environment, working, sleeping, and (for some people) raising a family are all necessary to life - but having a career and traveling and hobbies and just fun in general are what we all stay alive for. I don't aspire to lead a "boring" life, even though parts of it most certainly will be, and I wouldn't expect my partner to do so either.

All that being said, I do think it's important to be with someone who makes even the boring stuff fun. Someone with whom the day-in, day-out drudgery is worth going through, and someone who helps make the most of it. It's just not the everyday stuff that makes you fall in love with someone, though. Not that every gesture has to be grand and expensive, but they do have to have that kind of "miraculous" quality, for lack of a better word. Bringing you a flower he picked on his way home. Staying up late with you while you cry over something silly, snuggling and letting you get snot all over him. The ridiculous original limerick he wrote you in your Valentine's Day card. Not particularly amazing gestures, but something that affirms the special connection between you and your SO. If the day-to-day stuff didn't occasionally get broken up by sweet things like that, I'd really just feel like I was with a roommate, and I think it's important to strive for more than that in a marriage.

bethsmiles · November 2013

@Amapola14 summed up my thoughts exactly!

Hummingbird125 · November 2013

@Amapola14 - Very well said, I agree with you.

Loved this

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