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People keep inviting themselves

raeah219raeah219 member
250 Love Its 100 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I dont know how to handle this. We are having a smallish wedding. Its 100 guests. I know most people wouldnt consider that small but we have a ton of family and friends that want to be there and it was hard for us to even narrow it down to 100. I keep getting texts and facebook messages saying things like "Im so happy for you guys. I cant wait for the wedding" or "We better get an invite" I feel bad because I really appreciate all of these people that love and support us, but I cant have 200 people at my wedding. We simply cant afford it. We narrowed our list down by only inviting people that we have seen or spoken to frequently in the past year. What should I say to these people when they assume that they are invited? 
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Re: People keep inviting themselves

  • msuprincess04msuprincess04 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    Just say "Thanks. We haven't finalized our guestlist yet." Or "We are having a small wedding and can't invite everyone we would like to." If they press for details, change the subject.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
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  • raeah219raeah219 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    msuprincess04 said:
    Just say "Thanks. We haven't finalized our guestlist yet." Or "We are having a small wedding and can't invite everyone we would like to." If they press for details, change the subject.
    I was wondering if it would be okay to say that we are "having a small wedding" even though its 100 people. I wonder what they will say when they pictures of all of those people there. I guess that doesnt really matter...
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  • Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    100 peeps is still considered small :) besides anybody who side-eyes your guest list is rude.
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  • cjdoster16cjdoster16 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    100 guests is considered small. I was talking with a photographer who said that 150 was small, and 50 is teeny-tiny.
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  • heatheremandersonheatheremanderson member
    10 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I come from a large family myself. If I were to invite everyone from my family - I would have 300 people at the wedding easily. Politely state that you are having a small wedding and are keeping the guest list small. Thank them for the congratulations and be firm but polite.
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  • doeydodoeydo member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I don't think 100 is small.  I would just say "We are sorry but we are unable to invite everyone we wanted to" without coming up with an excuse/reason (ie. keeping it small, money, etc.).  It is rude of them to be saying things like this anyways.
    image
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  • Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    Lol, at my sister's bachlorette party, one of her friends of many years told me she wanted to come to my wedding, granted she was drunk, but I simply said that we are still finalizing our guest list, but we would keep her request into consideration.
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  • SewInLoveWithDMBSewInLoveWithDMB member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'm not sure I would say anything. When they don't receive their invite, they will then know that they weren't invited.  

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    image 293 (Adults) Invited
    image198 Yes (+ 12 children and 3 babies)
    image95 No
    image0 Unknown

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'd just ignore anyone saying that they expect to be invited unless they put pressure on you.  If they do, then you can respond with "Unfortunately, it's not possible for us to invite everyone we'd like."
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  • Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    SewInLoveWithDMB said:
    I'm not sure I would say anything. When they don't receive their invite, they will then know that they weren't invited.  

    This! If people keep pushing you to be invited, why not just say that due to finalizing your guest list the only way you are going to invite people are by official invites not word of mouth. Then change the topic.
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  • kitty8403kitty8403 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    100 guests is definitely small. For us, that would be family only, and none of our friends.
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