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Remembering relatives who have passed

wilson24019wilson24019 member
10 Comments 5 Love Its
in 40-Plus Brides

My fiancé's mother has passed.  We would like to do something to remember her at the wedding.  My fiancé suggested leaving an open place setting at the reception, but that seems too sad for a joyous occasion.  Also, his father has remarried and I think it may be a bit much for his father's new wife.

I have considered setting up a picture and a candle on a side table.  I thought I might also include pictures of my grandparents.  I was fortunate enough to grow up with both sets of grandparents until I was in my 20s.  My grandmother used to grow yellow roses and I'd love to put a vase of yellow roses, but my colors are red, white, and black. 

Any one have any ideas?  Have you seen anything like this done before?

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Re: Remembering relatives who have passed

  • MobKazMobKaz member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This question has been brought up several times on The Knot.  The concensus is to avoid doing anything that smacks of a memorial.  You also don't want to do anything that forces guests to relive a sad time in their lives.  Unattended chairs is strongly discouraged.

    If you have a wedding program, it would be appropriate to include a note about those who are not with you today either in presence or spirit.

    Your fiance could make a pocket square out of fabric from something saved from his mother.  A special prayer, song, or reading that reminds him of her could be included in your ceremony.    You could incorporate her favorite color, flower, or food into your decor or menu.  A favorite upbeat song of hers could be played at the reception.

    Anything you do in remembrance of someone should be subtle and thoughtful for all in attendance.
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  • wilson24019wilson24019 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its

    Hmmm she loved Nat King Cole.  Maybe we can include something of his in the music selections.  She loved red roses and we are using red roses so that fits.  Thanks for the input.

     

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  • wilson24019wilson24019 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    Mobkz, I got it.  His mother did absolutely beautiful cross stitch.  We are getting married in a restaurant and the venue had one wall of bookcases.  I'll get some of those pieces framed and put them on the shelves.  It will add some personal touches to the room.  I'll also set her photo on one of the shelves.  it won't look like a memorial.  It will look homey. 
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited November 2013
    wilson24019 said:
    Mobkz, I got it.  His mother did absolutely beautiful cross stitch.  We are getting married in a restaurant and the venue had one wall of bookcases.  I'll get some of those pieces framed and put them on the shelves.  It will add some personal touches to the room.  I'll also set her photo on one of the shelves.  it won't look like a memorial.  It will look homey. 
    It sounds subtle and lovely.  Do be sure to let your FFIL aware of this plan so it does not catch him off guard.  And if you want to remember your grandmother, you could discreetly tuck one single yellow rose into your bouquet.  You could also find a simple yellow rose applique and have it sewn into the underside of your dress, or on the ribbon wrapped around your bouquet.  Perhaps if either your grandparents had a favorite drink, you can order one and offer a toast.
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  • wilson24019wilson24019 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its

    Hee Hee Hee....my grandfather on one said drank buttermilk....don't think that will fly. 

    Actually, my grandmother on the there side was an AVON lady.  I might put a few of her pieces of coin glass on one of the shelves.  I'm using depression glass in my center pieces so that should fit in well.

    Thanks for all your help

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  • hutchslhutchsl member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its

    Both of our fathers have passed away. For our wedding we had wedding pictures of our parents on the table with the guest book - more a celebration of marriage but also served as our acknowledgement of them in a subtle way. But since your father has remarried this would probably not work for you unless for your mom you just used her portrait and couple pictures for your grandparents (assuming they all stayed married)

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  • wilson24019wilson24019 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its

    Thanks for the ideas

     

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  • SheMarie82SheMarie82 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    We are going to have a candle with a little note.  My dad passed away, and I will be having a locket connected to my flowers with his picture.
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  • KbastisKbastis member
    10 Comments
    My mom passed away long ago. Dad never remarried. I also have lost many of my extended family. I'm doing a candle and a card with a chair nearby. The card will say something like. In memory of those we wish were here celebrating with us today. But worded better. People can come sit in the chair and have a quite moment to remember anyone who isn't there.
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