Engaged and planning, but family completely against wedding?

Re: Engaged and planning, but family completely against wedding?

• misssunshine17 member

  

  September 2013

  Assuming your FI isn't some asshole they are really concerned about your well being with... Make you decisions and own them. It sounds like you have the right idea having no expectations from them, so you won't be disappointed with whatever they choose to do or not do. 

  Report0 Reply
• LizQ member

  

  October 2013

  Sorry to hear that. That's pretty tough. Hopefully you can arrange to sit down and have a serious conversation with your family and FI. There must be some deeper issues than your family thinking he is "lazy." That doesn't seem to be true from what you say, so it just sounds like an excuse to cover up something else that they're not communicating. Hopefully your dad will realize how happy David makes you and how much you love each other and eventually accept your marriage.
  

  Report0 Reply
• Nikita2013 member

  

  November 2013

  I nderstand totally. My parents don't really lik my fiane either. They think that just because he works at a retail stor that he would never amount to anything. But the fact of that matter is that i love him, he treats me well, I haven't even told my dad which am terrified about. I think in the end we both just need to say what we need to say and if they don't accept it, then it's their  lost.

  Report0 Reply
• KatWAG member

  

  November 2013

  SlowCheetah9395 said:

  Hello all! I was not really sure where to post this, so I came here. I'm Breyanna, my fiance David and I have been together for 3 1/2 years and engaged for 2. We have finally set a date and have begun planning out wedding for March 1st, 2014. We are both incredibly excited, couldn't love each other more and have a wonderful support system from his family and all of our friends. However, over to my side, my family is completely against the wedding and do not care for David at all. They have felt this way since day one. The biggest reason they say they do not care for him, is they claim he is lazy and has no drive to do something with his life. However he works two jobs and supports himself fully. He is wonderful to me, is very supportive of everything I do and wish to do. He is my best friend, all day, every day. I have always had issues with my parents and how they feel about things, however this is the toughest situation our differences has ever put me in. We have not told them we set the date (just did so yesterday), and honestly I'm just not sure how to tell them about it. My dad has made it clear in the past he would never support my marriage to David in any way, shape or form, so I do not expect him to walk me down the aisle or attend the wedding at all. We decided to get married at David's home church, which is about 2 3/4 hours away from my family, so I am sure that will not go over great either. I love my family dearly, but my dad most of all has made it a point to make me choose between him and my fiance. It truly breaks my heart, but I have to do whats right for me and my life. Anyhow, I guess I am just asking for some support, maybe some advice from anyone who has been in this situation? 

  
  

  Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post

  Does your fi have a job or a career? Those are very different, and that could be your Dad's issue. What does your mom say?
  

  

  Report2 Reply
• sarahmarie409 member

  

  November 2013

  I understand how you feel my family hated my BF that I was dating before I met my fiancé for the same reasons... he was "lazy" but worked as a sales person in a retail store hourly and was a server at night...therefore he was "going no where" plus he smoked and had tattoos which didn't help his case because my dad is so so so judgmental of everyone for the most shallow reasons. I loved him though and he did treat me well but ultimately family is the most important thing in my life and I couldn't imagine being estranged from them.. I imagined thanksgivings and holidays with everyone together including our future kids... in the end things didn't work out because his family also didn't like me...and those were fundamental problems in our relationship. I really hope things work out for you though it sucks when parents are judgy and mean over stupid shit.

  Report1 Reply
• kitty8403 member

  

  November 2013

  I'm sorry they aren't more supportive. Asking a woman to choose between her husband-to-be and her family is serious.
  May I ask if your parents are objecting because of your age, as well as because of his line of work? Sometimes working two or even three jobs, if they are low-paying, doesn't indicate ability to support a family. Perhaps discussing some of your life goals and plans together would smooth things over.

  Report1 Reply
• kitty8403 member

  

  November 2013

  One more thought. My parents did not like my ex-fiancé. In the end, they were right. Your family knows you best. The decision is yours--but do try to consider whether their observations have any genuine merit.

  Report0 Reply
• Nikita2013 member

  

  November 2013

  My family don't really care for my fiance either. He also works for a retail store, he's helping to support himself and his single mom, and he's had the job for almost 4 years now. He treats me really well but he hasn't gone to college and I am. He tried and he decided it wasn't for him. My family didn't like my ex-boyfriend at the time either for more reasons than that. And they were right about him but I feel like they are wrong about my current fiance. I know it's really hard but now my family is learning to accept him. I think you should just give it some time, keep your relationship and stay strong. It's all gonna work out in the end. Hope this helps

  Report0 Reply
• boobyswope member

  

  November 2013

  There tend to be family pressure in most of the relation ,but if you know that your love is true and no holds can stop you from loving each other then you need to make your decision and stay with it.nd rest leave it on your fate.

  Report0 Reply
• [Deleted User] member

  

  November 2013

  I am in the same situation. But at the end of the day you have to live with your decisions. Live for you not anyone else. As long as you are happy, the rest will fall into place. Good luck girlie!

  Report0 Reply