Pre-wedding Parties

MOH in distress!

I am a MOH in a destination wedding.  We have 6 weeks to go until the wedding and the bride is now wanting a shower, which she didn't before.  With the holidays schedules being pretty full and her family/friends are spread out all over the world, I am not sure what to do.  Any ideas on something I could do for her to supplement the shower but still with a shower feel?  I would like to incorporate her family members too...  What do you think?

Re: MOH in distress!

  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    helleb said:
    I am a MOH in a destination wedding.  We have 6 weeks to go until the wedding and the bride is now wanting a shower, which she didn't before.  With the holidays schedules being pretty full and her family/friends are spread out all over the world, I am not sure what to do.  Any ideas on something I could do for her to supplement the shower but still with a shower feel?  I would like to incorporate her family members too...  What do you think?
    This is tough. First of all, she might be out of luck. If you or someone else offered to throw her a shower and she declined, that's on her. Is her wedding around new years eve?  With Thanksgiving next week, and then the holiday parties, it might be hard to even find a place to have a shower. You are a good friend to try to make something work, but if it doesn't work out, don't worry about it.
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  • It's extremely rude for the bride to ask you to throw a gift-giving party in her honor. Especially when it's 6 weeks before the wedding (I'm guessing her invites have already gone out) and during the holidays. It comes off as presumptuous and gift grabby, IMHO.

    I would find a way to gently tell her no. "I'm sorry (bride), but with the wedding 6 weeks away and the holidays around the corner, I just can't throw a shower together with this short of notice. What if we go to (bride's favorite bar) for a drink with a few friends/family? Nothing formal, but people can meet us out and we'll toast to your upcoming marriage."
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    doeydoMairePoppy
  • I agree with the above, but if you really do want to throw the shower, invite anybody who you think is appropriate and either set it up at a reasonably priced restaurant or somebody's home.  With such short notice, you could make it a pot-luck and have everybody who brings a dish, add a recipe card of the dish for the bride. You may even be able to stay within financial reason if you do a tea party with only deserts. With six weeks until the wedding, you really don't have an appropriate amount of time to give guests notice, so this may be (UGH) a time for e-vites.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I would tell her it's not possible.

    1. Destination weddings are expensive for the guests and wedding party, so expecting a shower on top of travel expenses is unreasonable, IMO. Multiply that by the demands of the holiday season. 2. Only those invited to the wedding may be invited to the shower. 

    Is it possible for the wedding party to take the bride out the night before the wedding, at the destination, for drinks? You could spread the word among the women who are attending the wedding. If there are other bms, ask IF they would like to chip in a small amount of $ for a personal gift for the bride. 

    The bride chose to have a DW. With that decision, she must accept that some of the other festivities will not take place, even if her wedding wasn't taking place smack dab in the middle of the busy holiday season.


                       
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