Wedding Etiquette Forum

Should I pay for my hairstylist expenses to attend my wedding?

I've had the same hairstylist for 10 years, so when I got engaged naturally it was a given she'd be the one doing my hair. We both were really excited and actually began planning wedding hair styles and trying looks out and everything. Well, due to some family issues she's had to move across the country to another coast this spring. She said that she'd still come back to town to do my hair, because it will provide her an opportunity to attend my wedding and visit her friends in town. Now that the wedding is approaching I'm trying to decide whether or not I should be footing the bill for her flight, hotel, and for the hair styling? On one hand, she made the agreement to be my wedding stylist well before she decided to move out of town. On the other hand, the cost to attend the wedding will be considerably more than she will earn for doing my hair. So from a business standpoint I don't think it really makes sense for her. I was thinking I could pay for her hotel costs and the cost to do my hair if she pays for the flight. Or if I pay for the hotel and flight, that would be my cost for the hair styling. What do you all think? What portion should I be responsible for? We have not discussed it and I want to be fair to her, but I also don't want to pay more than necessary. Any advice?

Re: Should I pay for my hairstylist expenses to attend my wedding?

  • Is she a friend who is a guest at your wedding, or are you just paying her to do your hair? 

    If she's going to attend the wedding as your friend whether or not she does your hair, I don't think you need to pay for these things. If she's only coming back to do your hair, yes, I think you need to pay for these things as you would for any long-distance vendor you'd hire.
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  • I don't think you are responsible for any portion of her travel TBH.  It was her choice to keep the gig despite moving far away, and she has already said that she will use the visit as an opportunity to visit her friends as well.  If you are feeling generous, you can certainly offer to cover part of her travel expenses, but I don't think you should feel obligated to at all. 
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  • I wouldn't think you would have to pay for her travel. She offered to still do it after she moved and even said it would be a good excuse to come home and see friends. Is she a friend that's attending your wedding too? My hairdresser is a good friend of mine and will also be doing my hair and makeup the day of before she attends my wedding. She's staying over at the hotel both nights and is paying for her own room. 
  • I would pay the fee for the hair styling plus a tip, but I would not pay for her travel or anything.
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  • I would double check that she's still planning on doing your hair. If she chooses to keep the apt, then it's her responsibility to pay to get there, unless otherwise specified in a contract. I think a generous tip would suffice. It is absurd to me to pay flights and hotels for a hair dresser.
  • When you agreed to have her do your hair, it was just for the hair and not traveling expenses (I'm assuming.)  Since she moved, your end of the deal should stay the same.  You pay the styling fee and tip.  

    Same question as PP, is she a guest or a vendor?  If you're feeling incredibly generous, have extra funds or flights/hotels are extremely cheap, or you absolutely have to use this vendor, then you could negotiate.  I don't think you need to, but it's dependent on how much you need this person.  Did you have a contract or deposit already paid?

  • If she will be attending your wedding, I think you don't need to pay for her travel or accommodations. Just give her a generous tip.
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  • If she will be attending your wedding, I think you don't need to pay for her travel or accommodations. Just give her a generous tip.
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