Expect less gifts for a holiday wedding?

trose79 · December 2013

We're thinking of having a winter wedding (Dec/Jan) but the MOH mentioned that we may get less gifts/money because it's so close to the holidays. Have any of you run into this issue? I don't want to sound materialistic but weddings are a big expense.

doeydo · December 2013

You shouldn't expect any gifts anyways. Yes, you will probably get some, but it is not mandatory whatsoever. Anyways, I would probably give a gift worth the same amount of money I would give if the wedding was not close to the holidays.

HisGirlFriday13 · December 2013

trose79 said:
We're thinking of having a winter wedding (Dec/Jan) but the MOH mentioned that we may get less gifts/money because it's so close to the holidays. Have any of you run into this issue? I don't want to sound materialistic but weddings are a big expense.

Yes, weddings are a big expense, but they're one you and your FI should be willing to undertake on your own. You should not be expecting to make money on your wedding to use to pay for your wedding. Plan and pay for the wedding you can afford.

Blue_Bird · December 2013

trose79 said:
We're thinking of having a winter wedding (Dec/Jan) but the MOH mentioned that we may get less gifts/money because it's so close to the holidays. Have any of you run into this issue? I don't want to sound materialistic but weddings are a big expense.

It's not your guests' responsibility to reimburse you for your wedding. Host what you can afford.

monkeysip · December 2013

Seriously, unless your friends are incredibly rich, I really wouldn't hope to be reimbursed for your wedding at all. When you spend $$ on your wedding, spend it as if you won't be receiving a dime back in gifts. Only spend what you're comfortable with.

People will give what they will give. There's really no good way to predict it. We had people from whom we predicted larger gifts give us something really small (I'm NOT complaining--no one owes us gifts!), and we had some people from whom we predicted nothing or a tiny gift give us really generous ones. There's just no way to know, so just be grateful for whatever you get!

thejucheidea · December 2013

haahhahahahahaha oh man you hope to get enough gifts to make up for the cost of your wedding? Sad day for you.

AddieCake · December 2013

trose79 said:

We're thinking of having a winter wedding (Dec/Jan) but the MOH mentioned that we may get less gifts/money because it's so close to the holidays. Have any of you run into this issue? I don't want to sound materialistic but weddings are a big expense.

What I'm reading here is that you expect to recoup some of the cost of your wedding via gifts. Classy attitude. If you can't afford to throw a party, don't throw a party, you know?

Teddy917 · December 2013

You might get some people that won't give you a gift for one ocassion or the other. Or some might combine their holiday gift budget and wedding gift budget and give you a bigger gift. It's just what happens.

indianaalum · December 2013

Realistically, yes, I believe it could probably happen. People get strapped for money on the holidays, so they might have to spread themselves a little thinner than normal, is my guess

winelover123 · December 2013

Don't expect to get back anything that you spent. Our friends and family were very generous with the amount they gave us for our wedding, but it didn't come close to recouping the cost. That's not why we had a traditional wedding though, and we never expected to recoup anything that we spent.

I would probably give a little less than I usually would if the wedding is really close to Christmas (say, a week before or after) just because I have less in my bank account then.

kgd7357 · December 2013

The gifts will probably be smaller for some people, but not for all. I do want to echo though that you can't bank on any amount from gifts. It is very unlikely that we will get even close to the amount in gifts that we are paying per person, but that's okay because we want to treat people to a fun party. Any cash gifts are going to honeymoon extras!

ei34 · December 2013

When I attend weddings I don't give a gift based on the time of year. Gifts aside, December is a festive time and I always enjoy weddings during this month. And January is also a nice time because the holidays are over and it's nice to have an event to attend.

climbingsingle · December 2013

Wow. Classy. Have the wedding you can afford and don't expect your guests to foot the bill.

PolarBearFitz · December 2013

Trollin' trollin' trollin'

aurianna · December 2013

I got married on January 8.

My guests were very generous and we got gifts from almost everyone despite its being so close to the holidays.

Would we maybe have gotten more if we hadn't been close to Christmas? Maybe. Hard to say though. Airfare was cheaper and hotels were way cheaper. But I'll never know, and it doesn't matter.

Did we come anywhere remotely close to recouping the wedding cost? Heck no. But just because I chose to have a $100+pp wedding does not mean my guests should have to fork over a $100+ present.

Plan the wedding that you want that you can afford. Your guests will give you the gifts they want that they can afford; leave that up to them.

aurianna · December 2013

stupid double post

lissag1285 · December 2013

My sister got married in January and got just as much as my brother who got married in June

lovesclimbing · December 2013

We got married a week before Christmas. We got a lot of monetary gifts. I never thought about how much we might get, and I was blown away at our family and friends' generosity.

My parents paid for our wedding, it was a small wedding - cake and punch - but I don't know exactly how much the wedding cost so I don't know for sure if what we made would have covered it if we had paid for it.

I would not change the amount I gave based on the time of year but I agree with PPs, don't count on gifts. You never know what you'll get.

LisaA2014 · December 2013

I would worry more about taking people away from their holiday traditions then about how much money they will give you. Ugh, holiday weddings. However, I would probably have less of a budget for a gift for a holiday wedding then at any other time of year.

hoffse · December 2013

I don't like holiday weddings. One of my BFFs got married like 3 days before xmas last year, and it was a pain in the butt. I love her dearly and I was a BM in the wedding, so of course I was there, but still. I felt like I couldn't even think about Christmas or enjoy the season because I had this wedding to get through first (and I was mediating two of the other BMs who had a massive falling out a couple months beforehand).

And normally I give $100 for wedding gifts (in physical gift form, not cash form). But last Christmas I was finishing paying back a HUGE loan to my parents, I had only been at my current job for a few months, and I had holiday gifts to buy also. I gave her about half of what I normally give because I literally couldn't afford anything else without going into debt or dipping into my savings (neither of which I was willing to do). As in, I had about an $11 buffer in my bank account at the time.

So yeah. You will probably get less.

And let's not pretend you will recoup even a fraction of what a wedding costs. If you don't want to be out of pocket too much, then elope, invite fewer people, or scale it back.

Expect less gifts for a holiday wedding?

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