False Alarms?

Pepperally · December 2013

Anyone else know that their partner is somewhere in the process of buying/paying for a ring and planning a proposal, yet you are not allowed to know a thing, so you sort of have these times when things are planned and you think...oh, maybe he's going to do it then...and then it comes and goes and it doesn't happen? I'm not too caught up in being demanding about being proposed to. I've been engaged before so I don't want it to go that way again. But I guess what us women sometimes think would be the perfect opportunity for the guy to ask just doesn't seem to be as obvious or in line with what he is thinking.

We went away this past weekend for a long weekend at a cabin in the mountains...at his request. So I sort of thought maybe he was going to do it then. But alas, he did not. For my last birthday he hired a driver to take us downtown for dinner, and well, I really thought perhaps he was going to do it then. But he didn't. And he told me later his mom even asked him if I was going to think that since he hired a driver. He didn't seem to think I would think that...I admitted that I did and he felt bad!!

And sometimes I don't even think that he would do it for a certain occasion or trip, etc., but someone I know will "plant the seed" and then I start wondering.

audrewuh · December 2013

Ha. I used to have these. H picked up the ring when I was in Dallas at school. He made a very strong point to tell me when he was picking it up.

The day I got back from school, he insisted I go to a basketball game with him and all of our friends. The director of marketing came over and asked me to participate in a half time show. I was almost in tears with the anticipation that he was going to propose during half time. Clearly it didn't happen that day. He really got a kick out of it.

From then on, I was a little miffed at him for being so blatantly obvious with what he was planning to do, so I snapped that I didn't want any more information.

I came on here and cooled my jets, mainly because that excitement can be fun to ride, but after a while, it can turn ugly. So my advice to you is to take deep breaths and set your expectations really low.

Pepperally · December 2013

Thanks. Yes, lowered expectations is the way to go on this or you will drive yourself, and possibly your partner, insane. I did go through that more so the first time I was engaged as I did know when he bought the ring. This time I am in no hurry except that at age 38 my ovaries are shriveling up rapidly and he wants to be married before we have kids. He knows we're in a time crunch in that respect and we are definitely on the same page.

I do enjoy hearing the "false alarm" stories. I would be mad if he knowingly wanted me to believe he was proposing yet was not!

cu97tiger · December 2013

Yep, I lived in that space for awhile, too. There was a triathlon we both did, where I thought it would be PERFECT for him to propose when I got done. No proposal, and I was definitely disappointed.

A trip to Vegas for a friend's wedding? Turned into me crying in a fancy bar because it somehow came up and he was like 'nope, not doing it this weekend.'

Another trip to Vegas had him telling me on the way there not to expect it. At that point, I had gotten good at not turning every 'maybe' chance into a disappointment, so while it was appreciated, he didn't need to.

All that to say, ditto audrewuh... ride that coaster for a little bit, but then sit back and enjoy your relationship as it is now.

KeptInStitches · December 2013

I rode that coaster this time last year, when BF decided it was a great time to tell me that he had thought about proposing that spring but hadn't followed through with it. Should have taken that one to the grave.

Shiroyasha · December 2013

I get those once in a while when BF talks about proposals and getting hitched. He's talked a lot about going on some romantic getaway and then we never end up going, which means nothing important was going to happen.

The last time was our anniversary. He made a big deal about getting a ring in a style I want and had me scope some out. I was giddy with excitement till he tossed me the box and said "Here, happy anniversary." I laughed at myself for that one.

MrsDeRuyter87 · December 2013

My Fi and I were together for 2 years and had known eachother for 5 years prior to that when his younger sister got engaged on tnanksgiving and we were still just BF/GF. The night we found out about his sister's engagement he told me he was planning on asking me to marry him for Christmas but now that she was engaged he wanted to give her some time to enjoy her engagement. BUMMED OUT! I kind of thought he was going to ask on Christmas but hearing it wasn't going to happen put me back in the dark so when he asked 8 months later I honestly didn't know it was coming and I am glad it worked out that way.

minskat30 · December 2013

I only really had one false alarm...the first time I went to India with H to meet his family. I thought it was just that - a trip to meet his family. Every other family member, co-worker and friend however told me they were certain he would propose on that trip. I told them "no" but it got my mind spinning. That combined with too much drinking one night and H's brother and H's mother lecturing H in front of me about how we were perfect for each other and H needed to get on with proposing = crying meltdown from me that night when we went to bed. Not my finest hour but it happens to all of us.

After that, I didn't think it about it all really (even after we picked out the ring) but that is because these ladies kept me sane.

loves2shop4shoes · December 2013

I had one false alarm.

DH already had the ring, and I knew it. And I thought, under the fireworks, on the 4th of July would be PERFECT. There really is nothing like the Boston Pops Fireworks on the 4th of July.

But nope.

Turns out he was going to propose then, but because my cousin (who is a total AW and is BSC) got engaged 3 days earlier, he wanted to space it out a bit more.

Dignity100 · December 2013

FI took me to pick out the ring - then told me when it comes in he's just handing it over and to not expect anything fancy. He's not the romantic type at all!!

Swazzle · December 2013

H and I looked at rings together in June. He bought the ring in July and then my grandfather had a stroke and ended up passing away. In early-mid August, H suggested we go to Coney Island out of nowhere. He never makes plans like that so it really threw me and I wondered briefly but then I was like "why on Earth would he propose at Coney Island?" I pushed it from my mind and we had a blast that day even though he didn't pop the question.

Sure enough, a couple weeks later, I came home from work and H proposed to me in the middle of our bedroom on some random Tuesday.

Try not to get your hopes up so much! It just sets you up for being let down when it doesn't happen rather than enjoying the days/nights/dinners/trips with your SO.

Peaseblossom55 · December 2013

I had a few moments when I thought it was going to happen and it would be the perfect moment. When the proposal happened a few minutes earlier I was hoping he would propose and I put it out of my head to avoid ruining the moment.

buddysmom80 · December 2013

I thought this was about pregnancy false alarms for a second. Anywho, the only time I had a false alarm was last valentines day. He bought me pandora charms and the box looked like a ring box. Other than that nothing.

Shiroyasha · December 2013

@twodimes it was a ring, but not an engagement ring.

Pepperally · December 2013

TwoDimes said:

buddysmom80 said:

I thought this was about pregnancy false alarms for a second. Anywho, the only time I had a false alarm was last valentines day. He bought me pandora charms and the box looked like a ring box. Other than that nothing.

I am so afraid that this will happen to me and I'll start screaming/crying/whatever thinking it's an engagement.

Luckily SO and I have an agreement that he should not buy me jewelry in general...I'm too picky, just like I can never buy him watches b/c he's too picky...it's a mutual understanding. I don't think this scenario would happen for me! (only thing he is picking out is the engagement ring, with some input from me).

blabla89 · December 2013

I'm there right now! When we talked about a timeline, BF said early spring. But I know he loves surprises and grand gestures so I think he may have been trying to throw me off. I'm generally a nosey person, but I don't want to know anything about it beforehand. I want to be totally surprised.

I had a really awful false alarm with my college BF. You know that scene in How I Met Your Mother when Robin freaks out because she thinks Ted is proposing? It was kind of like that.

It was graduation day and after the festivities I was about to head out to dinner with my family, but didn't want to leave my diploma in the car. So my boyfriend, who had already graduated and was working in a chemistry lab on campus, offered to hold it in his office next to the lab. After my family left, BF summoned me back to the chem building to grab my diploma and then meet up for drinks with friends. I arrived at the office, and he smiled and said "Oh, I have something for you" and then walked into the lab. I followed, and he turned around with a Tiffany box in hand.

I panicked. If we were going to get engaged, that was absolutely NOT where I wanted it to happen. Turned out it was a necklace, a graduation gift from his parents...crisis averted.

behsco90 · December 2013

I don't want to know anything about my proposal beforehand, I don't even want to know when he gets the ring. I haven't had any false alarms yet, mostly because I'm almost certain he doesn't have the ring yet. But there have been a few times when I've though to myself, Hmmm maybe he'll propose today.

He did tell me he was thinking of proposing to me this past 4th of July. I was in Cali for my cousin's wedding (which he was not invited to!) and he was going to fly down and surprise me and propose. But a few months before that we started going thru a rough patch so he knew it wouldn't be the right time. I thought I would be disappointed after he told me, but I was happy to know that he's actually thinking about it.

Jstump2 · December 2013

I had one on Christmas a couple of years ago. I knew we weren't quite there yet, but I was at his family's house for Christmas and we all take turns unwrapping presents. I had gotten a jewlery box from then BF but it was locked and he said something about we would have to exchange it because it was supposed to come with a key. Well all the gifts had been opened and he pulls out this small box for me...inside is the key to the jewelery box! My heart starts pounding and everyone is looking at me (they later said they thought he was going to propose too. I open the box and inside is a really pretty necklace. Lol.

ShallowSeas · December 2013

YES. This was my life for months. I just made sure my nails were done all the time so that when he did propose, my nails didn't look like shit. Anytime we went somewhere or he had something special planned I thought, "OMG, is this is?! I bet its it..." and it never was. And then the ONE time I didnt think that, it happened.

But at least my nails were done.

buddysmom80 · December 2013

LivLeighton said:

Sometimes I have a false alarm where I think I'm going to poop and all I do is fart. It's really disappointing.

I HATE when that happens!

ETA: Also I hate that when it's the other way around aka sharting

GoldenPenguin · December 2013

LivLeighton said:

Sometimes I have a false alarm where I think I'm going to poop and all I do is fart. It's really disappointing.

This is why I love you. I'm pretty sure people in the next building heard my "I have to poop - oops, just a fart" yesterday.

FutureMr&MrsG · December 2013

I'm also living with this right now.

My BF and I have been ring shopping for several months and we finally found a setting and a diamond that we loved that was within his budget. There was an issue with the setting that we were told was no problem to fix (channel setting and on 1 side there was a big gap between the diamonds and the other side they were spaced evenly). When we were notified the ring had been fixed we found it to be exactly the same and were told it could not be fixed and was made incorrectly.

We returned the ring and decided to work with the store that we had found the center diamond from. On Friday the manager called and told us he had ordered in a ring that was almost identical to my other ring so we went to see it and we both loved it and said we would take it. We were told that the sizing and setting of the diamond would be done later that day.

So, I know that my ring has been ready to be picked up since Friday night and now I have to wait for him to give it to me! Luckily work has been very busy and I'm preparing for Christams so I'm not completely focused on waiting.

Hummingbird125 · December 2013

buddysmom80 said:

I thought this was about pregnancy false alarms for a second. Anywho, the only time I had a false alarm was last valentines day. He bought me pandora charms and the box looked like a ring box. Other than that nothing.

If BF gives me anything in a ring-sized box this Christmas, he will not live to see Christmas dinner. That is a promise.

smalfrie19 · December 2013

buddysmom80 said:

I thought this was about pregnancy false alarms for a second. Anywho, the only time I had a false alarm was last valentines day. He bought me pandora charms and the box looked like a ring box. Other than that nothing.

Somedays I would rather have Pandora than my e ring...actually...I own more in Pandora than my e ring is worth...like...twice what its worth.....

buddysmom80

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